"Your spiritual growth through the game is more important than some lousy loser's life!"
My response, "Yeah. I guess you're right. I am no longer upset."
I know this is so supposed to be anti-D&D, but it reads more like a study in player logic.
Also, I love the "WARNING: see Acts 19:13-17" they put where the preacher is blessing the girl.
In conclusion, I sent this e-mail to the company. Granted, no one will probably read it, but I sent it anyway.
To whom it may concern:
A few years ago, I was in a really bad spot. I had joined up with some "Dungeons and Dragons" players and things got pretty bad. After my cleric (a character class I assumed was holy) achieved level 9, I was introduced to a Witch's coven so I could achieve real power in life. I was masturbating in order to cast magick every single day. I could see the world change around me. I called it the old "wank and wish."
Anyway, I sort of thought that things were going too far when a friend of mine committed suicide because she felt unworthy to play with us (she sorta deserved it because she was a real D-bag, lol!). What really hit home though, was when my best friend committed suicide because his paladin died. I mean, I realized then that this game was taking things too far. Like a drug though, I couldn't escape because of all the masturbation magick I was doing. I'd wank and wish for a sandwich and sure enough, one would be in my sticky hand by the end of the day. Though I was pleasuring myself nearly every hour at this point, I knew I had to change. I couldn't say why I had to change because life was perfect other than the suicides, but I knew I had to.
That's when I came across your site and your educational cartoons over Dungeons and Dragons. I saw a little piece of myself in those cartoons and I realized that I had to change my way of life. I decided to let a new Dungeon Master in my heart. The ultimate Dungeon Master. Jesus Christ.
Through Jesus's teachings, I learned that I didn't have to roll a 20-sided die to see the world around me. I could just look around. I learned that sacrificing orphans in house fires just because they saw me commit a murder so my friend could be let out of jail is most definitely wrong. Most of all, I learned that my real enemy wasn't a bunch of creatures in a Monster Manual, but sin and since everyone sins in the world, then I have an unlimited supply of enemies I can face.
Anyway, thank you so much for showing me the way, the truth and the light. My newfound faith in Christianity has stopped my masturbatory habits and I have come closer to God. Really close. Scary close. Sometimes, when I murder people, I feel like I'm doing his work for him. He's the creator of everything and I am the destroyer. Thank you.
-Lightbringer Leo
