We were nearing the end of an extended Iron Heroes campaign run by Ross a few years back when a new member joined our party, Sir Redgar. Now the player playing Sir Redgar was a fairly intelligent guy (he's currently a PhD student in Political Science at a school which will remain nameless), but he wasn't the fastest on his feet and his character suffered for it. Wulfstan, my hunter and defacto party leader, became immediately suspicious of this young knight who did not seem to possess much worldly experience. He made another warm body to throw at enemies, so Wulfstan overlooked most of his follies. Then came the infamous day when Sir Redgar earned his moniker "Orphan's Bane."
The day started out as any other day when the group was in town. The barbarian went to the bar. The elven archer restrung her bow. The charismatic thief went and pilfered the rich. My character tried to atone for all the sins and cultural taboos the party had committed. And Sir Redgar, well, he went to the bizarre to find a new weapon. In the bizarre, he was pick-pocketed by a wandering street urchin and instead of harming or even reprimanding the child, he demanded that the child take him to its parents. When the child replied that he was an orphan, Sir Redgar demanded that the child take him to his guardian. This is when things got ugly.
The guardian of the child ended up being an assassin/thief who was training the thirty some orphans he cared for how to be other assassin/thieves. Sir Redgar took this as an affront to his knightly ways and decided the best appropriate action was to strike the man down as the thirty some orphans watched.
Then things got really ugly.
Ross: The thirty screaming orphans come running at you, smacking at your armor, and pining for their now dead guardian.
Redgar: I start to walk away.
Ross: One of them manages to stab you doing superficial damage, you take one point.
Redgar: I strike them all down.
Ross: What?
Redgar: They are going to grow up to be assassins and thieves anyway, I kill them all now.
Ross: A few minutes later, thirty some dead orphans lie at your feet. You hear the approach of local constables. What do you do?
Redgar: I wipe my blade.
By this point, the entire table was laughing so hard we had to take a break.
