My roommate and I fucking lost our collective shit at the description of the demonic hell-scanner.
It's just a common, ordinary scantron machine. Haven't you seen the older ones? It's practically an antique, really; we only break it out when we have a lot of things to scan; oh sure it's a little noisy at first, but once you get used to the sound you'll hear it ALL the TIME, EVERY WAKING MOMENT, screaming, screaming always screaming...
Where was I? Ah yes, just an ordinary scantron that absolutely positively is NOT fueled by the souls of the damned. It's perfectly safe to turn your back on it; if you do and then look back it's NOT going to be closer to you, that's just your mind playing tricks on you.