With nothing better to do (and the creative juices flowing) I decided to make a craigslist account and make some fake postings. My first one is in the "platonic" category with the "men seeking men" to hang out with. I will be the first to admit that I completely stole the text from an episode of Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I found the picture on google. I typed in "three guys" and it was the first thing I saw.
THREE DUDES LOOKING FOR FRIENDS TO PARTY WITH
Whatup? We’re three cool guys looking for other cool guys to hang out with us in our party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged. If you’re fat, you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again nothing sexual.
The next one is probably the nerdiest thing I have ever written.
COME ON A QUEST FOR LOVE AND LET'S NERD OUT TOGETHER!
Helllllllooooo ladies! I am a D&D nerd (Dungeons and Dragons, not Drugs and Disease LOL J/K!) looking for a neutral good to chaotic good lady out there who is up for a little role-playing. NO EVIL ALIGNMENTS OR LAWFUL GOOD ALIGNMENTS WILL BE ACCEPTED.
I'm about 5'5", 130lbs. I work out often, but still only have a 12 to my Str, 16 to my Dex (that;s right ladies, I'm a runner!), 18 to my Int, 13 to my Con, 16 to my Wis, and I've been told that I have a 25 to my Cha (eat your heart out Vin Diesel).
I am looking for a sexy little nymph to practice casting my level 5 charm spell on. Be my eladrin wizard and I'll be your half-elf ranger.
p.s. No fatties.
This is the last one and it is more of a social experiment than anything else. I found a random girl on myspace and put her pictures up. I feel a little bad, but oh well . . .
LOOKING FOR A GUY TO LITERALLY TAKE A SHIT ON
hey guyzz! im a gurl hoo noes wot she wants! i need a man hoo will let me take a big old dump on his chest!
NO SEX! NONE AT ALL!
i just want to pop a squat and let out a big ole doo-doo on your chest, pay you $20, and give you a friendly slap on the cheek. that is all!
also, you will be expected to give the $20 back because i do not have much money and am currently going to skewl 2 bn construction management.
so, if you're into big ole stinky dookies on your chest, getting paid $20 (don't forget to give it back) then i'm your kind of a girl.
oops! i mean . . . gurrrrl.
p.s. no fatties
p.p.s. no weirdos
I had to post pictures because I wanted to see if someone would respond based on that. Here are my favorite things about this final post:
1) spelling errors that turn out to be intentional on her part. (when i say "her" I of course mean me)
2) The fact that she will act like she is giving $20 to someone, but she has to have it back afterward.
3) No weirdos - as if she is this epitome of normal.
Here is the last one and my personal favorite-
So, from the women seeking men category, here it is:
UNLUCKY IN LOVE AND LIFE
A few years ago, I was in a really bad accident and my right leg had to be amputated from the knee down. Since that time, I haven't been with a man and I am DESPERATE to find someone. I know that looks are important, but sometimes guys can be so judgemental. I mean, I am still a beautiful woman, but I am just missing a small part of me. Don't I deserve love too? I don't want a GUY, I want a MAN to satisfy me. If my fake leg freaks you out, I can take it off and let you rub the nub. I really like it when I get my nub rubbed.
If you're interested, let me tell you what I am interested in: I need a man that is a WASP and is down with the movement if you know what I am saying (i.e. no black dudes). Must have blonde hair, blue eyes and ready to please.
So, to all you men out there who don't judge a book by the cover that it might be missing, and to the men who know how to treat a lady right, be looking out for this sexy one-legged lady.
