The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[siriq]

Granted! You now have faith to do anything! you better start-a-praying cause your on a 300 foot high bridge and your hearts telling you, you can easly glide/fly down to the bottem!

I wish the porn on my TV was free!

Granted porn is free on your tv, but it never shuts off and the volume is at max.  With all the buttons on the remote and tv broken you are unable to watch anything else but porn.  Even worse its stuck on a channel that only shows soft core with the worst stories imaginable. 

I wish all the people i role played with didn't move away.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted, everyone in your gaming group stays, all the rest of the people in the town move. It's hard to get some gaming in when you are trying to simultaneously hold down 200,000 jobs. At least you figure out a way to turn the whole thing into a post-apocolyptic LARP.


I wish dishes did themselves, food made itself, and then cutlery could use itself to feed me. Because none of those things sound interesting right now compared to playing this dungeon crawl game I'm playing!

[Dogfish]

Granted, the dishes dampen themselves and never get truly clean leading to bacterial growth, food which makes itself, that is then stabbed into your mouth with a sharp fork.

I wish I had a never-ending supply of Budweiser Budvar in a fridge of tardis capabilities for the World Cup.

[Setherick]

I wish I had a never-ending supply of Budweiser Budvar in a fridge of tardis capabilities for the World Cup.

Granted, however, this wish still would not have helped the Americans do better than they did.

I wish I wouldn't have the obsession to res old threads.

[IDaMan008]

I wish I wouldn't have the obsession to res old threads.

Granted. Instead, you develop an obsession with sitcoms from the early 1980s that can only be sated by watching Punky Brewster or Family Ties for six to eight hours every day.

I wish I had remembered to think up a wish before I hit the POST button.

[doctorscraps]

Granted, but the wish that comes to mind is really gay...I mean, rainbows and unicorns gay.

I wish TV's Hercule's Kevin Sorbo would finally understand the feelings I have for him.

[Boyos]

Granted, but the wish that comes to mind is really gay...I mean, rainbows and unicorns gay.

I wish TV's Hercule's Kevin Sorbo would finally understand the feelings I have for him.

He does, and comes riding into you house on a Unicorn shooting rainbows out of its ass, First thing out of Kevin Sorbo is... Where is your fauther?

I wish for world peace! and not the type lisa simpson got in that halloween special.

[Wooberman]

He does, and comes riding into you house on a Unicorn shooting rainbows out of its ass, First thing out of Kevin Sorbo is... Where is your fauther?

I wish for world peace! and not the type lisa simpson got in that halloween special.

Granted, All life is suddenly extinguished from the planet. The World is finally at unchanging peace.

I wish for a substantially higher wage for my hideously underappreciated Job without increasing the working hours, location, staff, duties and responsibilities.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted. Your wages increase by 100 times the figure it currently is. Unfortunately, hyperinflation means that actually your money is worth 1000 times less. And as requested, you are expected to do exactly the same working hours, at the same location, with the same staff, and with the same duties and and responsibilities. And yes, the job is still unappreciated.


I wish I could both enjoy watching stuff on TV indoors where it is cool, and yet also enjoy being outdoors walking in the sun.

[Dawnsteel]

I wish I could both enjoy watching stuff on TV indoors where it is cool, and yet also enjoy being outdoors walking in the sun.

Granted.  You are wandering around outside, wearing your new rig.  It consists of a backpack-mounted air conditioner, which also acts as a counterweight to stabilize the television hanging in front of your face.  The downside?  Your walking range is limited to the extension cord length (50') and either there's condensate running down your leg or you just pissed yourself.

I wish I could stop coughing.

[FuzzyDan]

Granted.  As a side effect, you also stop breathing.  You also have forgotten to take a dump in weeks.  You explode in a storm of bone and feces, dealing 3d6 damage to everyone within close burst 3 and makes a secondary attack against fortitude to be slowed and weakened.

I wish I had more time to find new insurance.

[ethan_dawe]

Granted:

You lose your job and have plenty of time to find new insurance, but you can't afford it anymore.

I wish I could magically stop the gulf oil leak.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted. FIREBALL SPELLS! Down side - no gulf.


I wish I could make twenty four odd little psuedo-words form cool proper words and sentences for a puzzle I'm trying to do.

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

Wish granted. FIREBALL SPELLS! Down side - no gulf.


I wish I could make twenty four odd little psuedo-words form cool proper words and sentences for a puzzle I'm trying to do.

Granted!

Unfortunately the 24 odd little psuedo words you are using, when used in the proper order, summon Azathoth.  Needless to say, the puzzle you're working on is of little importance now.

I wish the pain killers I'm taking didn't make me feel like shit.

[Kelkesh123]

Granted!

Unfortunately the 24 odd little psuedo words you are using, when used in the proper order, summon Azathoth.  Needless to say, the puzzle you're working on is of little importance now.

I wish the pain killers I'm taking didn't make me feel like shit.

Granted! But whenever you take one you enter the spectral realm for 3d8 hours.

I wish I was a pirate AND didn't contract scurvy.