The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[Boyos]

Granted, you now have 3 falic shapes attached to your head, your 90% sure if you got excited, you could now do a handless head stand.

I wish I new what a tripod head was.

[Dogfish]

Granted, you now have 3 falic shapes attached to your head, your 90% sure if you got excited, you could now do a handless head stand.

I wish I new what a tripod head was.

Granted, it materialises as an alien from H.G. War of the Worlds and starts blasting.

(I think he may of meant a 'shoe' for the tripod but this is speculation)

I wish I had every episode of MST3k on DVD.

[Setherick]

Granted, you now have 3 falic shapes attached to your head, your 90% sure if you got excited, you could now do a handless head stand.

I wish I new what a tripod head was.

Granted, it materialises as an alien from H.G. War of the Worlds and starts blasting.

(I think he may of meant a 'shoe' for the tripod but this is speculation)

I wish I had every episode of MST3k on DVD.

Granted, I hope you can speak Urdu.

I wish I had a coffee IV.

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

Granted, you now have 4 cups of coffee.

I wish soy milk wasn't so expensive.

[Setherick]

Granted, you now have 4 cups of coffee.

I wish soy milk wasn't so expensive.

Granted, but you're not too thrilled about "Milk Your Own Soy Day" either.

I wish my name was John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

[IDaMan008]

I wish my name was John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

Granted. Whenever you go out, the people always shout, "There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! He owes us money! LET'S GET HIM!"

I wish that I had a better place to live.

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

Granted, unfortunately the perspective of what a "better place to live" is from the mind of a homeless person.  So in reality, what he considers to be a better place is actually worse than your current living situation.

I wish I didn't feel like my brain is melting when I watch Chowder on Cartoon Network.

[Boyos]

Granted, unfortunately the perspective of what a "better place to live" is from the mind of a homeless person.  So in reality, what he considers to be a better place is actually worse than your current living situation.

I wish I didn't feel like my brain is melting when I watch Chowder on Cartoon Network.

Granted, it now does melt but feels like ice cream! mmmm!

I wish Chowder was off Cartoon network! ( I havent had cable for 3 months but DAMN THAT SHOW PISSED ME OFF!)

[Setherick]

I wish Chowder was off Cartoon network! ( I havent had cable for 3 months but DAMN THAT SHOW PISSED ME OFF!)

Granted, I hope you like My Little Pony reruns instead because that's all Cartoon Network is showing now.

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller... (I think I might have used this already, but whatever.)

[beowuuf]

Wish granted! Unfortunately, because you get your way, every day is a Friday, and we never have a weekend again


I wish I had actually spent the last three hours studying for my recertification test tomorrow, instead of sitting around eating and enjoying myself.

[Boyos]

Granted! Your gonna ace that test tomorrow, sadly theres a huge drop in work, and most corperations are now down sizing, so your now gonna have to find a diffrent field of study, Might I suggest Plumber, allways good work for a good Plumber.

I wish I was a better Plumber then Mario!

[beowuuf]

Wish granted! You stick your hand down a blocked toilet, making you a better plumber than Mario. Aside from gagging, you have no idea what you are doing though.


I wish my tooth would stop hurting.

[IDaMan008]

I wish my tooth would stop hurting.

Granted. Your tooth stops hurting when a deranged dentist removes it using a crowbar and a butane cigarette lighter.

I wish I didn't have to lug all of my patio furniture from the garage to the backyard.

[Setherick]

I wish I didn't have to lug all of my patio furniture from the garage to the backyard.

Granted, however, your now mobile, sentient patio furniture has colonized your backyard and declared its independence. Not only have you been denied citizenship for this new independent state, you have been denied entry.

I wish I could learn via osmosis so I could nap on a book and memorize its contents.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I could learn via osmosis so I could nap on a book and memorize its contents.

Granted. However, since your brain is now a partially-permeable membrane for knowledge, you are effected by high and low knowledge pressure. In short, being around stupid people (low pressure) causes knowledge to exit you. I'd avoid any freshmen orientations if I was you.

I wish the applications at my office would stop making war on one another.