Junk Mail Novel

[clockworkjoe]

clearly a fake - everyone knows you use Wisdom as a dump stat

[Setherick]

I bet spammers would get a lot more action if they at least made their emails look presentable. The red penis your friend.

Kind Proposal

Good day,

I am Mr John Galvan a staff of a private offshore AIG Private bank united kingdom.

I have a great proposal that we interest and benefit you, this proposal of mine is worth of £15,500,000.00 Million Pounds.I intend to give fourty Percent of the total funds as compensation for your assistance. I will notify you on the full transaction on receipt of your response if interested, and I shall send you the details.

Kind Regards,
Mr. John Galvan

[rayner23]

"Beauty... is the shadow of God on the universe."

[Charlie72]

Healthful, they needful to be taught that filing lawsuits is not the track to around exhort readable an outshine to piracy. Somewhat than, it’s to vessel something increase than piracy. Like balmy of use. It’s sinker a gargantuan numbers easier to utter iTunes than to search the Internet with jeopardy of malware and then crappy righteousness, but if people are expected to hand over tit for tat seclude from loads and lacuna against ages, it’s not affluent to work. They a old crumpet sustain a squat every so usually old-fashioned in days of yore people irregularity software and Cobweb sites that vocal must an influence it ridiculously tranquilly to infringer, and up the quality. If that happens, then there disposal be no stopping piracy. But they’re too watchful and horrified of losing. Risks touring to be bewitched!

world news

[Setherick]

You must be joking Dr. Haroun.

[crash2455]

I think he meant to say "Would you kindly open the attachment?" (lol bioshock)

[Wooberman]

For some reason I have the irrepressable urge to open the attachment.

A Man chooses...

[clockworkjoe]

i would open it in google docs

WHATS INSIDE THE BOX DOC

[Setherick]

From the Desk of Dr. AHMED HAROUN
Manager Bill and Exchange Dept
First National Bank (FNB) South Africa
TELE: +27-787 689 960

Dear Friend,

I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise. I am the bill and
change manager in First National Bank (FNB) .I Hope that you will not expose
or betray this trust and confident that I am about to Repose on you for the
mutual benefit of our both families.

I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $15.6 million
immediately to your account. The money has been dormant for years in our Bank
here without any body coming for it.

I want to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased
customer (the owner of the account) who died a long with his supposed next of
kin in an air Crash since July 2000. I don't want the money to go into our Bank
treasury as an abandoned fund.

So this is the reason why i contacted you, so that the bank can release the
money to you as the nearest person to the deceased customer.

Please i will like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you
are not interested.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send you full details on how the Business
will be executed and also note that you will have 40% of the above mentioned
sum. Acknowledge receipt of this message in acceptance of my mutual business
Endeavour by furnishing me with the following:

Your Full Name...
Your Personal Mobile Number......
Your Personal Fax Number.

Dr. AHMED HAROUN First National Bank (FNB)
Please you can contact me immediately E-mail :ahmedharoun31@gmail.com

[Salkovich]

From the Desk of Dr. AHMED HAROUN
Manager Bill and Exchange Dept
First National Bank (FNB) South Africa
TELE: +27-787 689 960

Dear Friend,

I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise. I am the bill and
change manager in First National Bank (FNB) .I Hope that you will not expose
or betray this trust and confident that I am about to Repose on you for the
mutual benefit of our both families.

I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $15.6 million
immediately to your account. The money has been dormant for years in our Bank
here without any body coming for it.

I want to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased
customer (the owner of the account) who died a long with his supposed next of
kin in an air Crash since July 2000. I don't want the money to go into our Bank
treasury as an abandoned fund.

So this is the reason why i contacted you, so that the bank can release the
money to you as the nearest person to the deceased customer.

Please i will like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you
are not interested.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send you full details on how the Business
will be executed and also note that you will have 40% of the above mentioned
sum. Acknowledge receipt of this message in acceptance of my mutual business
Endeavour by furnishing me with the following:

Your Full Name...
Your Personal Mobile Number......
Your Personal Fax Number.

Dr. AHMED HAROUN First National Bank (FNB)
Please you can contact me immediately E-mail :ahmedharoun31@gmail.com

Number of brow-furrowing moments: 18.

Suggestion that you delete if uninterested...an interesting tactic.

Why is a Doctor working for a bank?

Who uses fax machines anymore?
Also he's the 31st ahmed haroun?

[Setherick]

Scammers learn how to better play on the sympathies of American liberals.

The Global Women's Health Organization (GWHO) invitation         

Dear Friend,

The Global Women's Health Organization (GWHO) is organizing a Global Summit On
HIV/AIDS & Female Trafficking. We invite you to take part in the upcoming
Global Summit , taking place from 22nd to 25th february 2011 in Century Blvd,
Washington, D.C USA and from 28th to 3rd march 2011 in Vicenza Italy.

The summit will deliver interactive workshop sessions that will enable
delegates to share best practice, exchange ideas, empower each other and
discuss the latest research findings.

If you are interested to participate and want to represent your country, you
may contact the secretariat of the organizing committee by email
(gwho_summit2010@globomail.com) for more information.

You may get back to me with my email: reb_david@globomail.com

Sincerely

Ms Rebecca david

[Setherick]

First LinkedIn spam I've received. I wish that the invitation sentence read "Since you are a person, I trust..."

[Moondog]

From Mr.Larry Bent
 
Good day my dear friend,
 
I assumed you are in good health with your family.
 
I am Mr.Larry Bent, the Director in charge of Auditing section Group of (BOA) Bank here in Burkina Faso.  Although the world is very small place and hard place to meet people because you don't know who to trust or believe, but as I have developed the trust in you after my fasting and praying,  i made up my mind to confide this confidential business suggestion to you.
 
There is an over due unclaimed sum of Thirteen Million Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ($13,200,000.00) in my bank, belonging to one of our dead foreign customers. There were no beneficiaries stated concerning these funds.
 
Therefore, your request as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the claim and release of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account  as the Foreign Business Partner to the deceased. On the transfer of this fund in your account, you will take 32% {US$4,224,000.00} as your share from the total fund, 5% {US$660,000.00}, will be shared to Charitable Organizations, Motherless Babies homes,disabled helpless people in both our country as the balance will be for me.
 
Please if you are really sure of your trustworthy, integrity, accountability and confidentiality on this deal, contact me with your profiles if you are satisfy to assist,with hope you have this quality i needed, go ahead and send me your detailed information as stated below for us to move forward.
   
1. Your full name:
2. Your residence address:
3. Your company name:
4. Your occupation/position:
5. Your official age:
6. Your Marital position:
7. Your passport or identity card:
8. Your phone number:
 
Please reply with your complete information so that i will send you the Official Letter of Claim as an application immediately to fill and send to our bank for the commencement of the transaction. Meanwhile,  there will be legal back up which will indicate the reason of transfer of the fund without any question from your government or bank.
 
Finally, do know that as you apply to our bank, the process of this transaction will not last more than 8 days hence you will follow my guidelines and instructions.
 
I am looking forward to read from you soonest.
 
 
Yours faithfully,
Mr.Larry Bent

Urge to reply 'get bent' is strong.

[rayner23]

"I strategy on publishing this post all more than the web. Should certainly I give any credit/references back for you?"

"With a cutting edge style and haunting imagery this must see documentary will change everything you thought you knew about Wall Street and Washington.Featuring experts authors and pundits from across the political spectrum Generation Zero exposes the little told story of how the mindset of the baby boomers sowed the seeds of economic disaster that will be reaped by coming generations.Related links You can follow Citizens United the makers of Generation Zero on and on ."

"How weird is it that the part I found scary and unusual is the length of the toenails?. . I am the Devil and Im here to do the Devils work .. I guess Octomom is finally getting that reality show shes been after.. If you had that many kids leaping out of your snatch your torso would quit the bitch too." <--- This might be the best thing I have ever read in my life.

[Salkovich]

"How weird is it that the part I found scary and unusual is the length of the toenails?. . I am the Devil and Im here to do the Devils work .. I guess Octomom is finally getting that reality show shes been after.. If you had that many kids leaping out of your snatch your torso would quit the bitch too." <--- This might be the best thing I have ever read in my life.

Are you sure that one's spam?