Junk Mail Novel

[Setherick]

Encrypt messages with spam

http://www.spammimic.com/explain.shtml

Dear E-Commerce professional ; This letter was specially
selected to be sent to you . This is a one time mailing
there is no need to request removal if you won't want
any more . This mail is being sent in compliance with
Senate bill 1816 , Title 5 , Section 306 . THIS IS
NOT MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING ! Why work for somebody else
when you can become rich in 89 months . Have you ever
noticed most everyone has a cellphone and people are
much more likely to BUY with a credit card than cash
! Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this !
We will help you decrease perceived waiting time by
160% and sell more . The best thing about our system
is that it is absolutely risk free for you ! But don't
believe us . Mr Simpson who resides in Idaho tried
us and says "Now I'm rich, Rich, RICH" . This offer
is 100% legal ! You will blame yourself forever if
you don't order now . Sign up a friend and your friend
will be rich too . Thanks . Dear Colleague ; You made
the right decision when you signed up for our club
! This is a one time mailing there is no need to request
removal if you won't want any more ! This mail is being
sent in compliance with Senate bill 1618 ; Title 8
, Section 305 . THIS IS NOT A GET RICH SCHEME ! Why
work for somebody else when you can become rich inside
75 months . Have you ever noticed people will do almost
anything to avoid mailing their bills and people love
convenience ! Well, now is your chance to capitalize
on this ! WE will help YOU use credit cards on your
website plus decrease perceived waiting time by 170%
. You can begin at absolutely no cost to you . But
don't believe us ! Mrs Anderson of Washington tried
us and says "I've been poor and I've been rich - rich
is better" . We assure you that we operate within all
applicable laws ! Don't delay - order today . Sign
up a friend and your friend will be rich too . Thank-you
for your serious consideration of our offer . Dear
E-Commerce professional ; Especially for you - this
breath-taking announcement ! If you no longer wish
to receive our publications simply reply with a Subject:
of "REMOVE" and you will immediately be removed from
our club . This mail is being sent in compliance with
Senate bill 2716 ; Title 3 ; Section 309 . THIS IS
NOT A GET RICH SCHEME ! Why work for somebody else
when you can become rich inside 74 days . Have you
ever noticed nobody is getting any younger & nobody
is getting any younger ! Well, now is your chance to
capitalize on this ! WE will help YOU use credit cards
on your website & turn your business into an E-BUSINESS
! You can begin at absolutely no cost to you . But
don't believe us . Mrs Jones who resides in Illinois
tried us and says "I was skeptical but it worked for
me" . This offer is 100% legal . If not for you then
for your LOVED ONES - act now ! Sign up a friend and
you'll get a discount of 60% . Thank-you for your serious
consideration of our offer ! Dear Friend ; This letter
was specially selected to be sent to you . This is
a one time mailing there is no need to request removal
if you won't want any more . This mail is being sent
in compliance with Senate bill 2516 , Title 6 ; Section
301 . Do NOT confuse us with Internet scam artists
. Why work for somebody else when you can become rich
inside 57 days ! Have you ever noticed more people
than ever are surfing the web and how long the line-ups
are at bank machines . Well, now is your chance to
capitalize on this ! We will help you increase customer
response by 160% & decrease perceived waiting time
by 170% . You can begin at absolutely no cost to you
! But don't believe us . Mr Jones who resides in Idaho
tried us and says "I was skeptical but it worked for
me" . We assure you that we operate within all applicable
laws ! You will blame yourself forever if you don't
order now ! Sign up a friend and you get half off !
Thanks .

[clockworkjoe]

YOU SHUT YOUR FACE

[Setherick]

subject   Dear Friend?

--
I am Chong Kim Wong, Attorney at law.I have contacted you to assist in
distributing the money left behind by my Late client , that shares the same
last name as yours,who lost his life alongside his wife and only child in
(Beirut-bound charter jet) plane crash on the Monday, 9 January 2006,Prior to
the Death of my Late Client.

Barr Chong Kim Wong

Considering I have the third most common Euro-American name, there is an off-chance that Wong is looking for someone else.

[Flawless P]

Dear Friend ; Thank-you for your interest in our publication
. If you no longer wish to receive our publications
simply reply with a Subject: of "REMOVE" and you will
immediately be removed from our club ! This mail is
being sent in compliance with Senate bill 1816 ; Title
3 ; Section 304 . This is not multi-level marketing
. Why work for somebody else when you can become rich
within 45 days . Have you ever noticed more people
than ever are surfing the web & people love convenience
! Well, now is your chance to capitalize on this .
We will help you SELL MORE and decrease perceived waiting
time by 150% ! You can begin at absolutely no cost
to you . But don't believe us ! Prof Ames of Alabama
tried us and says "I've been poor and I've been rich
- rich is better" . We assure you that we operate within
all applicable laws ! Do not go to sleep without ordering
! Sign up a friend and you'll get a discount of 60%
. Thank-you for your serious consideration of our offer
! Dear Sir or Madam , Especially for you - this amazing
announcement . If you are not interested in our publications
and wish to be removed from our lists, simply do NOT
respond and ignore this mail ! This mail is being sent
in compliance with Senate bill 1619 , Title 3 ; Section
304 . This is not a get rich scheme . Why work for
somebody else when you can become rich within 50 months
. Have you ever noticed nobody is getting any younger
plus how long the line-ups are at bank machines . Well,
now is your chance to capitalize on this ! We will
help you deliver goods right to the customer's doorstep
plus SELL MORE ! You can begin at absolutely no cost
to you ! But don't believe us . Mrs Jones of Rhode
Island tried us and says "My only problem now is where
to park all my cars" ! We are a BBB member in good
standing . We implore you - act now . Sign up a friend
and your friend will be rich too . Thanks . Dear Colleague
; Your email address has been submitted to us indicating
your interest in our briefing . We will comply with
all removal requests ! This mail is being sent in compliance
with Senate bill 2616 , Title 4 , Section 302 ! This
is a ligitimate business proposal ! Why work for somebody
else when you can become rich inside 56 months . Have
you ever noticed the baby boomers are more demanding
than their parents and more people than ever are surfing
the web . Well, now is your chance to capitalize on
this . WE will help YOU use credit cards on your website
and increase customer response by 150% ! You can begin
at absolutely no cost to you . But don't believe us
. Mr Simpson who resides in Montana tried us and says
"I was skeptical but it worked for me" ! This offer
is 100% legal . If not for you then for your loved
ones - act now . Sign up a friend and you'll get a
discount of 50% . Thank-you for your serious consideration
of our offer . Dear Internet user ; Thank-you for your
interest in our letter ! If you are not interested
in our publications and wish to be removed from our
lists, simply do NOT respond and ignore this mail !
This mail is being sent in compliance with Senate bill
1621 , Title 2 ; Section 307 . This is NOT unsolicited
bulk mail . Why work for somebody else when you can
become rich in 70 MONTHS ! Have you ever noticed people
will do almost anything to avoid mailing their bills
and more people than ever are surfing the web ! Well,
now is your chance to capitalize on this ! WE will
help YOU SELL MORE plus use credit cards on your website
! You are guaranteed to succeed because we take all
the risk . But don't believe us ! Ms Anderson of Montana
tried us and says "Now I'm rich, Rich, RICH" ! We are
a BBB member in good standing ! If not for you then
for your loved ones - act now . Sign up a friend and
you'll get a discount of 80% . Best regards .

[clockworkjoe]

yeah it is

[Setherick]

yeah it is

+1

[rayner23]

Response to my article about the "War of the Juggalos"

"I am undeniably thankful to you for providing us with this invaluable critical info. My spouse and I are unquestionably grateful, entirely the computer data we needed."


I'm glad I could help that person and their spouse with all of the information I provided about ICP.

[Joven]

I love the phrase "entirely the computer data we needed"

Maybe they're not just spam bots, but actual robots?

[Flawless P]

http://slangdesign.com/forums/index.php?topic=956

adding this to the novel not because the spam message is epic but because of how much we all sat around marveled about this random spam bot

[Setherick]

http://slangdesign.com/forums/index.php?topic=956

adding this to the novel not because the spam message is epic but because of how much we all sat around marveled about this random spam bot

Was that from when Ross had his wisdom teeth out and I was ignoring the boards because I was busy and it was the weekend of my birthday?

[Flawless P]

That it would be, and we all sat around discussing how spambots would spam each other for all eternity once the internets became devoid of humans.

[rayner23]

Damn. They're just trying to make me mad now.

"Hey, you used to write great, but the last few posts have been kinda boring… come on!"

Also, they are being nice.

"I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this blog. Thank you, I’ll try and check back more often."

Daisyvideosexe had this to say about my Greg Sestero interview

"Yo you are ever newcomers dream. I wish someone had given me some advice like this when i started. Veryhelpful for folks like me with limited skills."

Finally, someone wanted me to know that my Lady Gaga post was useful

"Thanks for your contribution and I will use it for my college research that I am doing."

[Salkovich]

Finally, someone wanted me to know that my Lady Gaga post was useful

"Thanks for your contribution and I will use it for my college research that I am doing."

I like to interpret this as someone using your lady gaga post in order to search for colleges to apply to.

[Flawless P]

This thread just reminded me, I have a text file of my last Omegle conversation in which I try to J Jonah Jameson a spambot while it tries to get me to click links. I'll have to get it from my room mate, I can post it here and in the Omegle thread.

[rayner23]

In regards to my Crisis on Infinite Earths review

"In looking for sites associated to internet hosting and specifically comparison internet hosting linux plan web,
your internet site came up.
You are a pretty wise Individual!"