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General Category => General Chaos => : iceemaker June 25, 2010, 09:11:12 PM

: Futility?
: iceemaker June 25, 2010, 09:11:12 PM
I'm sure the majority of you are familiar with what I am currently experiencing - a lack of purpose, an uncertainty as to what direction my life should take. It seems unfair of me to turn to you people, strangers who do not know me and (rightfully so) do not care about my personal life. But I really have nobody else to turn to. If you manage to trudge through this diatribe of self-pity, more power to you.

I am currently a junior in college, studying in a thoroughly underwhelming program, and I am hating it. I am working at a local grocery store, with no chance of advancement, and I hate it. My mother says I should drop out of college and get a full-time job, yet she insists that I will "not be able to do what I want" without a degree. I have no significant other in my life, and friends who are affiliated with me almost solely for gaming purposes. Not to mention the medication - the medication that allegedly relieves anxiety and depression.

In short, I have no fucking clue what I should do with my damned life. Whenever I think I have a grasp on life and a basic understanding of existence, everything changes a moment later. It seems that regardless of what choice I make, I will either experience failure or dissatisfaction. My parents think me arrogant and self-righteous, solely because I don't see a lifetime career and suburban living as the keys to happiness. Of course, I don't know for certain what will satisfy me, but the innanity of day-to-day existence is eroding every fiber of my being.

It seems that joining the Peace Corps or moving to the opposite side of the country are my only viable options. You guys really don't have to offer me advice, I just needed to place these thoughts on pixels.
: Re: Futility?
: Setherick June 25, 2010, 09:15:38 PM
What are you studying in school? It could be a change of pace in the academic world you need. Many programs are very unstable right now and the tension is starting to bleed from instructors to students. (Trust me, I'm in one of those fields and I beginning to see real fear in my colleagues faces.)
: Re: Futility?
: iceemaker June 25, 2010, 10:04:13 PM
I am currently studying Sociology, but I have changed my major three times in the past - first English, then Psychology, and Communication following that.
: Re: Futility?
: Setherick June 25, 2010, 10:35:10 PM
Ah, you may be caught in the situation I was describing. Sociology, English, and Communications are all in a state of flux right now. Universities like to throw money, like Shriners like to throw candy at little kids while they drive around in their little cars, at colleges that bring in students (which unfortunately is only business schools). What happens is the other departments see faculty lines that are never replaced, which means professors have to take on additional responsibility, which further means instructor-student relations suffer. On top of that, you're probably sick of hearing people say, "what would you do with a degree in that?"

Now, here's the bright side of that, business don't like to hire UG business majors. I turned down two 50K+ jobs after my M.A. at Missouri State and recently turned down another Financial Advisor position last spring when I was thinking about getting out of academia all together. So next time someone asks you what you'll do with your degree, tell them, "anything you want."
: Re: Futility?
: rayner23 June 25, 2010, 11:49:24 PM
Outside of career opportunity advice (I'm an academic advisor and most of my advice revolves around the adage of "do what you love") you said:

friends who are affiliated with me almost solely for gaming purposes.


I know how this goes. The only people I hang out with are the RPPR folk on a Friday night to game with them. Outside of gaming, we see the occassional movie, but I don't really hang out with anyone outside of gaming. Granted, I'm married, but my wife and I work opposite schedules, so I know how lonely things can be sometimes.

I think I'd hang out with the RPPR crew outside of movies more if we just asked to do something sometime. Maybe your situation is similar. Maybe you're all so caught up in gaming that you forget that it's cool to not play RPGs for once. This is starting to come off as either preachy or cranky and I don't mean for it to be either.

Anyway, thanks for sharing and even if our advice sucks, I hope you realize that we're here for you and we support you. Never hesitate to share or anything like that.

(Dammit, being part of my summer school writing project has given me such a vagina)
: Re: Futility?
: clockworkjoe June 26, 2010, 12:30:33 AM
Outside of career opportunity advice (I'm an academic advisor and most of my advice revolves around the adage of "do what you love") you said:

friends who are affiliated with me almost solely for gaming purposes.


I think I'd hang out with the RPPR crew outside of movies more if we just asked to do something sometime. Maybe your situation is similar. Maybe you're all so caught up in gaming that you forget that it's cool to not play RPGs for once. This is starting to come off as either preachy or cranky and I don't mean for it to be either.


MAYBE IF YOU INVITE US WHEN YOU GO OUT TO SEE A WIZARD ROCK BAND OR GO TO KARAOKE NITE

ALSO: CHEERFUL HELPFUL ARTICLE http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/us/13generations.html

finally: consider that the baby boomer generation is holding onto every job possible with a death grip and WILL NOT LET GO.

:D :D :D 
: Re: Futility?
: rayner23 June 26, 2010, 12:32:56 AM
I invited you to Harry and the Potters and you're going! What more do you want?!
: Re: Futility?
: clockworkjoe June 26, 2010, 12:34:57 AM
I invited you to Harry and the Potters and you're going! What more do you want?!

I HAD TO INVITE MYSELF

YOU DIDNT ASK

RRRRRAAAAGGGEEEEE

:D
: Re: Futility?
: Kroack June 26, 2010, 11:11:44 AM
Everyone betray Ross, he don't have a friend in the world!
: Re: Futility?
: Joven June 26, 2010, 11:21:18 AM
Everyone betray Ross, he don't have a friend in the world!

Also, best advice ever, "Don't worry bout it"
: Re: Futility?
: Tadanori Oyama June 26, 2010, 11:57:49 AM
I dropped out of College when I realized my selected program wasn't what I wanted to do with my time (social work). Got a job at a grocery store and after six months realized I had no chance of advancement and took the next job that came along. I've had alot of lucky breaks along the way so I wouldn't fully recommend my path of basically stumbling along assuming things will work out.

When people ask me what I "do" I usually tell them about the books I'm reading or the rolegames I'm playing because my job is just something I do to make money. I like my reception job, it's not even close to the focus of my life. So my advise is to find something you can do well enough to not get fired, that won't suck your soul, and that you can make enough money to pay your bills with, and then look of meaning to your life outside of your employement.
: Re: Futility?
: rayner23 June 26, 2010, 12:12:56 PM
Tad brings up a great point (as always).


Too often, we search for meaning in life in our work, but why? When did anyone ever find the meaning of life in the file room?
: Re: Futility?
: Setherick June 26, 2010, 12:21:02 PM
Too often, we search for meaning in life in our work, but why? When did anyone ever find the meaning of life in the file room?

A conservative argument could be that it is because we don't search for meaning in our work that we lag behind much of the industrialized world in many categories: education, health care, pretty much everything except entertainment spending. Americans truly are Nietzsche's Last Men.
: Re: Futility?
: Kroack June 26, 2010, 12:32:28 PM
this thread is full of depression, fear, and angst.

I don't really like it.

This is supposed to be a happy place.

Too much grimdarkness.
: Re: Futility?
: Tadanori Oyama June 26, 2010, 01:15:05 PM
I'm not depressed. I love my life. I've got enough to eat, a house that keeps me dry and warm, I play RPGs several times a week, I love my fiance, and my internet connection works most of the time. There's not much more I want from life.
: Re: Futility?
: rayner23 June 26, 2010, 01:49:38 PM
Too often, we search for meaning in life in our work, but why? When did anyone ever find the meaning of life in the file room?

A conservative argument could be that it is because we don't search for meaning in our work that we lag behind much of the industrialized world in many categories: education, health care, pretty much everything except entertainment spending. Americans truly are Nietzsche's Last Men.


You fucking communist.
: Re: Futility?
: ArtfulShrapnel June 26, 2010, 02:08:54 PM

A conservative argument could be that it is because we don't search for meaning in our work that we lag behind much of the industrialized world in many categories: education, health care, pretty much everything except entertainment spending. Americans truly are Nietzsche's Last Men.


You fucking communist.

Bwah?

Communists don't care if you find meaning in your work. They will tell you your job and you'll do it for the good of the people.

Searching for meaning in what you do is a much more libertarian way to look at the world. That you should do what you think and feel is best and be rewarded for it, and that the world will improve as a result.

My personal opinion: The reason many jobs feel meaningless today is that so many of them are. Sales, business, and finance in particular are just metagames we've invented to win enough points in the actual game of the economy, which is really intended to track the value of actual work. Building things, inventing things, etc.

I think the reason America lags behind the rest of the world is because we've all stopped playing the actual game, and are focused on winning the metagame. We've min-maxed our economy to do the most damage and get the best bonuses, but we've lost the soul and character and value that made it worth having in the first place.
: Re: Futility?
: ristarr June 26, 2010, 02:19:07 PM
Good points Artful, I think this is shown by how many people work in sectors where the only "job" is moving money from one place to the other.  No creation, no production, no inventiveness ( actually I take that back, you can be pretty inventive in ways to part people from their money ).  If the economy is a zero-sum game, then there are a lot of losers out there that are not min-maxing and metagaming, and doing something that they find satisfying or fulfilling.  Or, Economy forbid, something that might actually help other people.  They are not rewarded by the Economy for actions like this anyway.
: Re: Futility?
: Setherick June 26, 2010, 02:44:57 PM
Ah, analogical arguments. One of my personal favorites.
: Re: Futility?
: Boyos June 26, 2010, 11:49:43 PM
Im coming in on the end of this conversation... I thought we all agreed no Political and Religious bull shit in here?
: Re: Futility?
: Setherick June 26, 2010, 11:53:11 PM
This is about life though man.

(I so wish I had a smiley that was giving a peace sign with one hand and holding a flower in the other right now.)
: Re: Futility?
: Boyos June 27, 2010, 12:03:11 AM
GOD DAMN HIPPIES!


Lawl, Like I said I came in on the ass end of it, and realy didnt read any of page on.
: Re: Futility?
: iceemaker June 28, 2010, 12:12:45 AM
Thank you for reading my initial post and offering advice and encouragement, everyone. For what's it worth, I greatly appreciate being able to vent and recieve mature, practical feedback. This is the only "place" on the internet I know of that can allow me to do so. Along with you guys, and a new episode of FMA (WATCH FMA: BROTHERHOOD NOW), I have managed to trudge out of the funk I found myself in with my initial posts.

It was not my intention to drag the forums into grimdark territory. But if I have learned anything from sociology, it is that the world is hardly as black-and-white as we would like to believe: we must identify, accept and possibly alter both the positive and negative aspects of our existences.

The metaphor of economic min-maxing is brilliant. We are too preoccupied with squeezing every possible cent out of ourselves that we forget to enjoy ourselves. Like the clever DM that finds loopholes in the rules, the current economic depression is the logical result of this kind of "gameplay". Believe you me, I have no intention of joining the "powergamers". But I do not know if a certain amount of "optimization" (college degree) is required for me to enjoy life. It seems I just sink deeper into debt and become more depressed by the course content (Do you know what REALLY happened in Rwanda? I mean, what REALLY REALLY happened? Trust me, you're better off just knowing it was a terrible humanitarian crisis that the US could have easily averted.)
: Re: Futility?
: clockworkjoe June 28, 2010, 12:17:21 AM
yaaaaaay

rppr is a force for good for once (because remember I am the most evil and terrible GM ever)

(http://imgur.com/4hqe0.png)