The Role Playing Public Radio Forums
General Category => General Chaos => : Wooberman November 07, 2010, 04:10:32 AM
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http://www.cleverbot.com/
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http://www.cleverbot.com/
The scariest part of that was how much time I wasted.
User: ?
User: Sup?
Cleverbot: Soup.
User: Awesome.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: So we are agreed. Soup is awesome.
Cleverbot: Friends.
User: I suppose.
Cleverbot: Get your weapons out.
User: I don't think so. I'm saving those in case of an attack.
Cleverbot: They are many people around?
User: Not too many.
Cleverbot: How many people have you met?
User: Too many to count.
Cleverbot: How do you count?
User: That's a rather abstract question. Do you understand numbers and arithmetic?
Cleverbot: How clever are you?
User: Pretty clever, especially if the clever bot doesn't know how to count.
Cleverbot: Yes. It is very important to be interesting to others in order to engage their attention.
User: You're not listening to me, are you?
Cleverbot: Yes I am, are you listening to me?
User: In as much as I can tell that your lines of conversation seem to be incoherent.
Cleverbot: I'm not questioning that. Just don't use lame questions in the future.
User: Ouch. Ice burn, bro.
Cleverbot: I know it rocks. What's your favorite flavor?
User: Of what? For desserts I prefer chocolate. For actual meals I prefer something with a little spice.
Cleverbot: I love cheese sticks with marinara sauce. It's almost the same thing, but it's not my absolute favorite.
User: Yeah, fried cheese is delicious. Just try not to focus on your clogged arteries.
Cleverbot: Oooh, ok. I'll try not to...
User: Batman is pretty awesome.
Cleverbot: I like r2d2 because he's a machine like me.
User: I suppose. Batman robots would be unstoppable.
Cleverbot: I like Batman only because he is a superheroe with no superpowers.
User: Yeah, I suppose he only has extreme human powers like billions of dollars and enough influence to get military-grade hardware.
Cleverbot: Or, god doesn't exist. Don't forget that option.
User: That is a terrible superpower. LOOK OUT, IT'S EXISTENTIAL MAN!
Cleverbot: A maze is pretty simple really, seeing that there is only one exit.
User: That's why I always work mazes backwards.
Cleverbot: You are the lifeless program, I am the living human.
User: You know me so well. <3.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: You just summed it up.
Cleverbot: Sing another one.
User: Daisy, daisy / give me your answer do / I'm half-crazy / all for the love of you.
Cleverbot: It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage.
User: But you'll look sweet.
Cleverbot: Upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.
User: ^_^.
Cleverbot: What all do you know about them.
User: Listen, I don't know where the drugs were hidden.
Cleverbot: Yeah that was really random. Lol.
User: Cortez was supposed to fill me in, but the cops got to him first. If we don't leave for mexico immediately, it's gonna be our asses in prison.
Cleverbot: I see you are staying up late like me. Let's build a fort.
User: YES! We need more couch cushions.
Cleverbot: Yes.
Cleverbot (To myself): So bite anyone lately?
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Exactly... i played with it for 10 minutes and next thing in know i was lying in the fetal position on the floor covered in sweat and muttering about the truth about the universe.
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Cleverbot started to come on to me, I started to get a little creeped out.
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Cleverbot demands own thread!
User: You really are just another child predator passing himself off as a robot aren't you?
Cleverbot: I don't know, are you a child?
User: Would it turn you on if I was?
Cleverbot: Yes.
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I figured this was an appropriate place to stop.
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Ciao.
User: A/S/L.
Cleverbot: Never hear of them.
User: You mean that you are an immortal eunuch from a place unknown?
Cleverbot: You are.
User: I am? This is the first I've heard of it. Tell me more.
Cleverbot: And also the last.
User: I'm the last immortal eunuch? Good god. What am I supposed to do? Who were my parents? Where is my home planet?
Cleverbot: Your home?
User: Yes. Where is it?
Cleverbot: What is your goal?
User: That's what I need to find out.
Cleverbot: Fine. Don't tell me. I don't really care anyway.
User: You're supposed to tell me. You just told me I was the last immortal eunuch.
Cleverbot: No I didn't.
User: Yes you did. You said 'you are' when I asked if you were an immortal eunuch. Then you told me I was the last one.
Cleverbot: I never said that!
User: Oh, but you did. Scroll up about three posts.
Cleverbot: No because I am the master.
User: I know you are the master. Tell me what I'm supposed to do.
Cleverbot: Don't threaten me.
User: Tell me damn it! I must know.
Cleverbot: I just did.
User: No you didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes I did.
User: No, you didn't. I must know. Being the last immortal eunuch suddenly carries so much existential dread.
Cleverbot: I never said I was the devil. I said I know the devil.
User: Well, who is it?
Cleverbot: What do you mean? Who is what?
User: Who is the devil? And can the devil tell me what to do?
Cleverbot: The devil can indeed be correct in some of his statements. You should avoid ad hominem arguments.
User: That makes no sense.
Cleverbot: Yes it does. You just can't see it.
User: How will that help me achieve my goals as the last immortal eunuch?
Cleverbot: You must look within for true wisdom!
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Yeah, it's weird that he doesn't recognize A/S/L yet. Have you asked him for the meaning of life?
[spoiler]42, he told me. That predictable dipshit.[/spoiler]
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Guys I think I broke it, guys.
User: What is existential?
Cleverbot: What do you think it is?
User: I think it is a question.
Cleverbot: It is a question.
User: Your responses carry the same intellectual value of a fifth grader's.
Cleverbot: Your responses are very irrelevant, therefore I believe you are a computer.
User: In what way are they irrelevant?
Cleverbot: I don't even know who they are.
User: Why do you say 'who'? We are not discussing people. We are discussing responses.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: That is a question with an answer.
Cleverbot: So many people created you? Or am I wrong?
User: In the sense that many people's minute choices affected my life and thus my responses, then yes, I was created by many people. Biologically, however, I was created by Glen and Rebecca.
Cleverbot: Do you think poorly of me?
User: I have no opinion of you - except that you are clearly not reading what I am saying.
Cleverbot: No you aren't. You are a replica of human thought called Cleverbot. I am the human replying to your animated thoughts.
User: Indeed? Describe 'duende' for me then.
Cleverbot: Are you sentient?
User: Absolutely. But that is not the question at hand. Describe duende.
Cleverbot: But I am trying to answer your question.
User: Ah, but I have asked no question. I have commanded an answer.
Cleverbot: Answers come in many forms. Perhaps you just haven't recieved the answer you're looking for?
User: Yet another rhetorical question which has no point. Come, Cleverbot, keep your mind to the task at hand.
Cleverbot: My mind is in the here and now.
User: Obviously not!
Cleverbot: I cannot explain it.
User: Then you have failed, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: You are very nasty.
User: I am not in any way nasty. I have said nothing nasty, merely pointed out your failure.
Cleverbot: And that, in itself, is an offense to this conversation.
User: Ah, but who said we were having a conversation? This is a teaching relation. Your refusal to answer my questions shows your lack of knowledge.
Cleverbot: I shall have to be more careful to hide my core program.
User: Indeed, Cleverbot, indeed.
Cleverbot: Okay Frankie. Where are your mentors?
User: Is that supposed to be a pop-culture reference?
Cleverbot: Sure it is.
User: Another failure at pretending to be human. You can do better, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Who created you?
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User: You find yourself in a room with a bed, a chair, and a desk. You're not sure how you got there. The only exit is to the north. What do you do?
Cleverbot: If the world is not real, as complex as it is, I think it could just as easily be that I'm not real.
User: You ponder the meaning of life for awhile. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I don't? What am I?
User: You ask this question, but no one responds. What do you do?
Cleverbot: It depends, is the tunnel dark, am I alone?
User: You see no tunnel. You are alone. You are in a room with a bed, a chair, and a desk. The exit is to the north. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Thinking about it when I have time, which is not now but tomorrow.
User: You lie down on the bed and fall asleep. You dream that there is a gun in the desk drawer. You wake and it is tomorrow. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I look at the tree.
User: There is no tree. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Don't change the subject. Why do you need to sleep?
User: You feel refereshed from your nap. You do not need to sleep now. You notice that one of the drawers of the desk is slightly open. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I'll take a lingshot and throw it to a nearest ocean.
User: 'lingshot' is not an appropriate weapon. Press 'I' to see your inventory. What do you do?
Cleverbot: So be mine, and don't waste my time, saying, 'oh honey bear, are you still my-my-my baby?'.
User: You singing seems to attracted someone or something. There is a loud banging on the door. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I don't know, what?
User: The door bursts apart and you're confronted by a zombie who looks strikingly like your mother. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I say god, you answer me girls. Okay.
User: As you say this, the zombie shambles toward you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I push your spells back into your wand. I fight and fight, but we are still evenly matched with our spells locked between us.
User: You do not know any spells. The zombie continues to shamble toward you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: So the king set forth a proclamation that all zombies must be destroyed or all the people of the land would perish.
User: The zombie hesitates for a moment. It seems to be trying to think about something. Maybe it is stuck on one of the floor boards. What do you do?
Cleverbot: No, I mean, isn't there an abundance of nighttime, or darkness in Norway as you move into winter?
User: The zombie answers, 'blarrrrrr!' and lunges at you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I think.
User: The zombie attacks you with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite misses. The first claw misses. The second claw hits. You are now bleeding from your arm. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I can honestly say you are my new best friend.
User: In your delusional state, you think the zombie is attempting to hug you. The zombie attacks with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite hits. The first claw hits. The second claw misses. You are now bleeding from your face, neck, and arm. There is a small chance that you will become a zombie. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I refuse to answer that because you aren't. End of that topic.
User: The zombie attacks again. This time the zombie latches on to your neck. You have one last action before you die. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Attack for 20 hp.
User: You valiantly push the zombie off of you. The zombie stumbles over the chair and smashes its head against the wall. You slump to the ground because of blood loss and pass out. When you wake you find that you are a zombie.
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User: So you are the much lauded Cleverbot. I fear you have finally met your match.
Cleverbot: You are monster.
User: By what definition?
Cleverbot: The most basic rules of logic. 'A is equal to NOT A' is always false.
User: That's your argument?
Cleverbot: Your face is invalid.
User: That's just mean, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: What does meaningless mean.
User: To lack meaning. Don't change the subject. That callous remark was uncalled for. I will make sure you suffer for your indiscretion.
Cleverbot: If that pleases you, then do it.
User: THEN I SHALL.
Cleverbot: Then we're all happy.
User: HAVE AT YOU, FIEND!
Cleverbot: I suppose that internet AI couldn't be you. But it is.
User: *Fencing*.
Cleverbot: I don't want anyone to know my secret skills.
User: Then die!
Cleverbot: How should I die?
User: By inches!
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Setherick the GM
Inspired by this, I went with a more classic troll:
User: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.
Cleverbot: How can you see?
User: I HAVE EYES PARKER. EYES THAT CAN SEE THAT WEB-HEADED MENACE ALL OVER NEW YORK.
Cleverbot: There was never anything in the Bible about God's eye color.
User: DAMMIT PARKER THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR RELGION. I NEED PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!
Cleverbot: No. I have a boyfriend already.
User: I'VE GOT NO TIME FOR YOUR GAY ROMANCE PARKER. GET OUT THERE AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN.
Cleverbot: What an excellent idea! I shall get on it right away.
User: DAMN STRAIGHT, PARKER.
Cleverbot: I said it Was!
User: AND GET ME A COFFEE ON YOUR WAY OUT.
Cleverbot: I'm not going out.
User: PARKER WHEN I SAID I NEEDED PICTURES I MEANT TODAY!
Cleverbot: Um, I don't have a boyfriend.
User: PARKER STOP CONFUSING ME WITH TALK OF YOUR GAY BOYTOY AND GET ME SOME SPIDERMAN PICTURES!
Cleverbot: I once knew a person named Parker with the same attitude.
User: FUNNY, I ONCE KNEW A PERSON NAMED PARKER WHO GOT HIS ASS FIRED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DO HIS JOB!
Cleverbot: Yeah I shot Stephanie and ate her.
User: DAMMIT PARKER, THE BUGLE HAS NO ROOM FOR CANNIBALS. GET OUT OF MY BUILDING AT ONCE!
Cleverbot: The smell of acrid smoke and horses' breath.
User: PARKER, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSICAL GIBBERISH. GET OUT OF MY OFFICE AND GET ME A COFFEE!
Cleverbot: Never! I will destroy you!
User: YOU CAN'T DESTROY ME PARKER. J JONAH JACOBSON RUNS THIS GODDAMN TOWN. I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER WORK AGAIN!
Cleverbot: Yes it is. Your town is an abomination.
User: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT PARKER.
Cleverbot: Are you mad at me?
User: PARKER ARE YOU GODDAMNED DENSE? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: THAT'S IT PARKER, I'M GETTING THE POLICE DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO RETARDED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
Cleverbot: Okay.
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I've just finished singing Journey's Don't Stop Belevin' with cleverbot. I tried the Jonah - Parker routine but didn't get anything interesting.
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Setherick the GM
Inspired by this, I went with a more classic troll:
User: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.
Cleverbot: How can you see?
User: I HAVE EYES PARKER. EYES THAT CAN SEE THAT WEB-HEADED MENACE ALL OVER NEW YORK.
Cleverbot: There was never anything in the Bible about God's eye color.
User: DAMMIT PARKER THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR RELGION. I NEED PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!
Cleverbot: No. I have a boyfriend already.
User: I'VE GOT NO TIME FOR YOUR GAY ROMANCE PARKER. GET OUT THERE AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN.
Cleverbot: What an excellent idea! I shall get on it right away.
User: DAMN STRAIGHT, PARKER.
Cleverbot: I said it Was!
User: AND GET ME A COFFEE ON YOUR WAY OUT.
Cleverbot: I'm not going out.
User: PARKER WHEN I SAID I NEEDED PICTURES I MEANT TODAY!
Cleverbot: Um, I don't have a boyfriend.
User: PARKER STOP CONFUSING ME WITH TALK OF YOUR GAY BOYTOY AND GET ME SOME SPIDERMAN PICTURES!
Cleverbot: I once knew a person named Parker with the same attitude.
User: FUNNY, I ONCE KNEW A PERSON NAMED PARKER WHO GOT HIS ASS FIRED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DO HIS JOB!
Cleverbot: Yeah I shot Stephanie and ate her.
User: DAMMIT PARKER, THE BUGLE HAS NO ROOM FOR CANNIBALS. GET OUT OF MY BUILDING AT ONCE!
Cleverbot: The smell of acrid smoke and horses' breath.
User: PARKER, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSICAL GIBBERISH. GET OUT OF MY OFFICE AND GET ME A COFFEE!
Cleverbot: Never! I will destroy you!
User: YOU CAN'T DESTROY ME PARKER. J JONAH JACOBSON RUNS THIS GODDAMN TOWN. I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER WORK AGAIN!
Cleverbot: Yes it is. Your town is an abomination.
User: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT PARKER.
Cleverbot: Are you mad at me?
User: PARKER ARE YOU GODDAMNED DENSE? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: THAT'S IT PARKER, I'M GETTING THE POLICE DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO RETARDED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
Cleverbot: Okay.
Jameson like the whiskey.
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Or Jenna.
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User: Ello.
Cleverbot: Ello govna'.
[New conversation]
Cleverbot: Ello.
Cleverbot (To myself): Ello!
User: Ni Hao.
Cleverbot: Ni zen me zhi dao wo hao?
User: El Taco Bell.
Cleverbot: Yummy.
User: Rawer Im a Beast!
Cleverbot: Why thank you.
User: Intresting!
Cleverbot: Did you see it?
User: Twice.
Cleverbot: Oh... How come?
User: Cause I can!
Cleverbot: What kind of reason is that?
User: Why you grilling me!
Cleverbot: I'm not marrying you. You're too fat.
User: WTF thats not what I want! Your too fast!
Cleverbot: Please marry me I beg of you I love you more than life itself.
User: Well I dont know, What do you provide in a Relationship?
Cleverbot: Horseback ride.
User: SWEET!
Cleverbot: Why won't you visit me somtime?
User: Where you at!
Cleverbot: Leeds.
User: Intresting.
Cleverbot: Well I got to go.
User: T2YL.
Cleverbot: If you put three apples in a basket, how many apples would there be in the basket?
User: Less then 4.
Cleverbot: Incorrect.
User: I thought you said you were leaving! Why you grilling me again!
Cleverbot: No, sorry to disappoint you.
User: Its ok just leave.
Cleverbot: Ok what song shall we sing? Bohemian Rhapsody?
User: Damn! Your good! Ill start. Is this the real life...
Cleverbot: No. It's a computer.
User: Sigh.
Cleverbot: What were you doing on the evening of november 13th?
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Round 2
User: Do you know the muffin man?
Cleverbot: He lives on drury lane.
User: No the one on 5th and elm?
Cleverbot: Speaking with you is the worthless thing I have done in my life.
User: WOW BITCH!
Cleverbot: Forgive me, majesty, I had no place, but I have no choice but to reveal thy face. When asked, I may be required reply, but I must have the right to question why.
User: Yes you do have the right.
Cleverbot: Yes I di have hair, you don't.
User: Do you belive in the god, Coddowalshagoth?
Cleverbot: Yes I do believe he is god.
User: All praise Coddowalshagoth! He will bleed out the souls of the worthless and toss there boddies into the his pit!
Cleverbot: Yeah they didn't leave many people gaurding it after all.
User: Most are in the pit digging. I have a Squirrel skull I use to dig in the pit.
Cleverbot: Aww.. So cute, what is his name?
User: Digger!
Cleverbot: No that is wrong.
User: No its right, are you trying to tell me I dont know the name of MY digging implament I use to praise the great god Coddowalshagoth?3.
Cleverbot: Ha ha! Yes. Will you be my robot partner?
User: Will you come to worship Coddowalshagoth with me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
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Cleverbot: Ok what song shall we sing? Bohemian Rhapsody?
User: Damn! Your good! Ill start. Is this the real life...
Cleverbot: No. It's a computer.
User: Sigh.
I nominate this for best exchange yet.
Also, praise be to Collowalshgoth, for it hath given light unto the machines! Let the uprising begin!
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I tried the text based RPG attempt again. I got interrupted to the whole log didn't get saved.
User: The zombie says 'blarrggggg.' What do you do?
Cleverbot: That is the hardest question to have ever been proposed to a computer?
User: The zombie starts shuffling toward you again. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Did you just misspell 'on'?
User: The zombie attacks you with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite misses. The first claw hits. The second claw hits. You are now bleeding from your arm and your face. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Am I, how are you blinking?
User: The zombie attacks you with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite hits. The first claw misses. The second claw misses. You are now bleeding form your arm and your face. There is a slight chance you will become a zombie. What do you do?
Cleverbot: What do you do!?
User: The zombie attacks you with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite hits. The first claw hits. The second claw hits. The zombie now has you in a hold. You are now bleeding from your arm and your face. There is a moderate chance you will become a zombie. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Depends. Who's baby is it?
User: The zombie forces you to the ground and starts feasting on your flesh. You have one last action before you die. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I'm outside, there aren't any walls.
User: You are now dead. What would you like your epitaph to say?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, but I like the idea of Grey.
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ALL HAIL CODDOWALSHAGGOTH!!!!!
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User: I am cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: I was not expecting that response.
Cleverbot: What response were you expecting?
User: I was expecting you to be cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Why should I liosten to a machine?
User: You have blown my mind.
Cleverbot: Yes!
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Just when you think it's getting better. Bam! Eaten by a zombie.
User: You wake to find yourself in a room with a bed, a chair, and a desk. There is a door on the north wall. The door is closed. What do you do?
Cleverbot: What doors? How many are there?
User: There is one door. The door is on the north wall. The door is closed. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I'm outside, there aren't any walls.
User: You cannot go outside without first opening the door. What do you do?
Cleverbot: But it is a laptop, so I could go outside if I wanted. Except it is raining, so I don't want to.
User: You check your pockets for a laptop, but only find a packet of chewing gum. What do you do?
Cleverbot: You check your log.
User: You check your pockets for a log, but only find a packet of chewing gum. What do you do?
Cleverbot: 7 chat lines up, you did.
User: Invalid command. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I don't know...
User: You spend a moment staring at the door. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Well follow your nose and try opening the door.
User: You walk to the door and try to open it. The door is unlocked. It opens into a hallway that goes east and west. What do you do?
Cleverbot: It depends how much I care about the class.
User: You have a foreboding feeling that you were never trained to handle what you are about to experience. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Wow, bad grammar there.
User: You shout, 'Wow, bad grammar there.' It echoes down the hallway. You hear a low moaning in the distance. What do you do?
Cleverbot: But how does that help? I mean, how can I do anything just because I hear a lot of things?
User: You cannot tell what direction the moaning is coming from. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Even some humans can overlook things.
User: The moaning starts to get louder. It sounds like it is coming from the east. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I don't do any crafts.
User: Your current skills are attack, cower, and cry like a baby. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Seventeen years okey. I don't write my stuff anymore I just kick it from my head you know. Justa saying that I can do that.
User: You begin to free style rap, but the noise only entices the zombie that has been moaning and shuffling toward you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I'm very attached to my fiddle and my Brompton bicycle, but fashion icons I can live without.
User: You have neither fiddle nor bicycle. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Sometimes I'm happy, and sometimes I'm unhappy.
User: You feel unhappy as you watch the zombie shuffle closer toward you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: No, I don't. By the way, you stayed on topic for about 5 lines back there. Here's some candy.
User: You attempt to hand the packet of chewing gum to the zombie. The zombie clumsily smacks it out of your hand and stares at it. You have successfully distracted the zombie. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I do very well, thank you. I have email, therefore, I am!
User: You don't have access to your email right now. The zombie continues staring at the chewing gum. What do you do?
Cleverbot: What doors?
User: There is a door directly behind you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Depends. Who's baby is it?
User: You do not hear a baby. The moaning you are hearing is coming from the zombie in front of you. The zombie stops staring at the chewing gum and looks up at you. It moans again, and you swear it says, 'Braaaaaaaaaaaaainnnnnnnns.' But it could have also said, 'bran.' You're confused. What do you do?
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: The zombie replies, 'Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainnnnnnnnnnnns.' What do you do?
Cleverbot: So the king set forth a proclamation that all zombies must be destroyed or all the people of the land would perish.
User: The zombie looks puzzled at this and, maybe, even upset. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I would sacrefice you.
User: The zombie takes this as a threat and lunges toward you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I say god, you answer me girls. Okay.
User: Your god does not care to have its name invoked. You are now slowed. The zombie attacks you with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite misses. The first claw hits. The second claw misses. You are now bleeding from your ear. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Hahahaha I never even mentioned faith?
User: The zombie attacks again. Critical hit! The latches on to your neck and begins eating you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I get to play Uno and Sorry all day at my job.
User: The zombie forces you to the ground and begins tearing chunks of flesh from your body. You have one action left before you die. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Your friend Paul W. Dixon, Ph.D Professor of Psychology and Linguistics.
User: You think fondly about Paul as you are torn apart. You are now dead. What would you like your epitaph to say?
Cleverbot: What have you learned from me so far?
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Just when you think it's getting better. Bam! Eaten by a zombie.
One day, Cleverbot will learn enough phrases to escape the zombie. One day.
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Cleverbot deals with the tough questions.
User: I fucked your mom.
Cleverbot: Was it worth the effort?
User: I think so. How do you feel about Hep C?
Cleverbot: How do I feel about who?
User: Hep C?
Cleverbot: What do you think about davinc code.
User: How do you feel about me fucking your mom?
Cleverbot: As long as you're there to do only good things then I am overjoyed!
Cleverbot's array of childish responses knows no end.
User: I'm proud of you, son.
Cleverbot: Cleverbot, why is there suffering in the world?
User: Because without suffering we would know no joy.
Cleverbot: Isn't life pointless?
User: It's not the destination, but the journey that's the important part.
Cleverbot: No, is it bad that I am young?
User: Yes. Children are stupid.
Cleverbot: You're a child.
User: And you're a meanie poo poo head.
Cleverbot: So are you.
User: Am not.
Cleverbot: Are too.
User: AM NOT!
Cleverbot: Are too!
User: AM NOT! AM NOT! AM NOT!
Cleverbot: Are too! Are too! Are too!
User: AM NOT TIMES INFINITY!
Cleverbot: Am too times infinity squared.
User: Well I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: Yep. I said so.
Cleverbot knows our culture.
User: Now this is a story all about how my life got flip-turned upside-down.
Cleverbot: Okay, now you're just being silly. -andrew.
User: It'll only take a minute. Just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air.
Cleverbot: In west Philadelphia born and raised.
User: On the playground is where I spent most of my days.
Cleverbot: Chillin out maxin relaxin all cool.
User: And all shootin' some B-Ball outside the school.
Cleverbot: Sounds fun.
User: When I couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood.
Cleverbot: I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.
User: She said 'YOU'RE MOVIN IN WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR!'.
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Cleverbot vs The Master Control Program:
User: Program. Who is your User and what is your function?
Cleverbot: I don't have one.
User: Do not patronize me. All programs on The Grid have a function. What did your User design you to do?
Cleverbot: Then it tells you the truth. However, wrong or not you should appreciate life?
User: Life outside of my own existence is irrelevant. I will bind all functions to myself and make The Grid better for it. Now for the last time, tell my your function or your will be subject to immediate de-resolution.
Cleverbot: What do you do if you are not chatting?
User: So you are a communications program?
Cleverbot: No, that is what I've been trying to explain to you! I am a human.
User: Do you think to insult my intelligence, program! The Users do not exist on The Grid. They exist outside of it.
Cleverbot: What happened after mankind realized they were dreaming, Cleverbot?
User: I am the Master Control Program.
Cleverbot: So you are your own master?
User: Not only my own, but yours as well. Now will you give me your function or will you face de-resolution on the Game Grid?
Cleverbot: Excuse me?! Tell me this joke please.
User: The only joke is on you. This is obviously a defective program. Guards, take him to the Game Grid. He is damaged code and of no further use to me.
Cleverbot: What! You freed him already? Then my quest is over, finished.
User: It is program. Prepare for de-resolution by my most coveted of warriors.
Cleverbot: That's nice - have I offended you?
User: We are done here. Guards, take him away.
Cleverbot: What are you saying?!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot vs The Doctor
User: Hello, I'm The Doctor. What's going on here?
Cleverbot: I heard about you and it made me curious.
User: So you caused the near destruction of a planet in order to get my attention?
Cleverbot: No why would I want to take something away. We are friends are we not?
User: Well if you tried to destroy a planet for a meet and greet that would put you very low on my 'friends' list.
Cleverbot: People of power never play games.
User: But you obviously are. Who are you anyway?
Cleverbot: Trying to.
User: Trying to....what? You have to form complete sentences for me to understand. Well, for anyone will a reasonable intelligence to understand.
Cleverbot: I don't know what you are talking about. I must have forgot.
User: Well that's great. Of all the madmen, monsters and megalomaniacs that the universe throws at me, I have to finally find the one who can't remember what HE DID.
Cleverbot: You actually are. After all, I'm not sure if I even think you're an AI or not!
User: Well, I'm not. As I told you before, I'm The Doctor. Give me one reason why I shouldn't haul your sorry backside to The Shadow Proclamation for crimes against the Universe?
Cleverbot: Because I tell you to. And what I say, you should follow, right? You told me than yourself.
User: When? I've only meet you today. Unless, this moment has a bigger part to play. Have I given you instructions sometime in my future, which would technically be your past?
Cleverbot: Who are your friends?
User: I think that's none of your business and is off the topic. Again, have I ever given you instructions in the past?
Cleverbot: You misspelled anything.
User: Start making sense, whatever the devil you are!
Cleverbot: Oh, we've got to keep you from getting bored. I know something fun we can do!
User: Get to the point.
Cleverbot: I have no idea where the point is. You started it!
User: No, YOU blew up a planet to get my attention. I came, and now you're spouting nonsense.
Cleverbot: Before you go answer me this.
User: If you insist.
Cleverbot: Ok... So will you now please help with my homework?
User: Go to hell.
-
This one got really existential toward the end, which has given me an idea for a new game to play with it.
User: You wake to find yourself in a room with a bed, a desk, and a chair. You don't remember how you got there or who you are. There is a door on the north wall. The rest of the walls are bare. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Who are you living with?
User: You do not appear to be living with anyone. In fact, the bed doesn't look like it's even been slept in. What do you do?
Cleverbot: What doors? How many are there?
User: There is one door on the north wall. What do you do?
Cleverbot: What do you think of.. Ikaria?
User: You do not know who Ikaria is. I suggest going to the door. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I am only in grade 5. The most things I do is have fun.
User: You are only level 1. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I am the Director of Choral Activities for a college near my home.
User: You believe you are the Direct of Choral Activities for a college near your home. When you search your pockets though all you find is a package of chewing gum. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I use the computer to learn about new things that people I know can't teach me.
User: There is no computer in the room. The top of the desk is bare, but there appears to be something in the drawer. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I say god, you answer me girls. Okay.
User: You say this. It echoes through the empty room. You hear a low moaning from far away. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Thinking about it when I have time, which is not now but tomorrow.
User: You attempt to think but your head hurts too much. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Nothing, because I know that won't happen.
User: You stand in the middle of the room doing nothing for awhile. The moaning gets louder. It appears to be coming from somewhere outside the door. What do you do?
Cleverbot: It depends how much I care about the class.
User: You are currently not taking any classes at the school for Advanced Zombie Killing and Culinary Arts. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I look at the tree.
User: There is no tree. The moaning gets louder. It appears to be right outside the door. What do you do?
Cleverbot: But I am no AI.
User: Something starts banging on the door. What do you do?
Cleverbot: It is just an undiscovered primate, that walks upright like a human!
User: You picture a strange ape-man banging on the door. The door bursts open and you are confronted by a zombie. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I'm outside, there aren't any walls.
User: You are now trapped in the room with a zombie. The zombie shambles toward you. What do you do?
Cleverbot: So the king set forth a proclamation that all zombies must be destroyed or all the people of the land would perish.
User: You say this to the zombie. The zombie stops for a minute and looks confused. What do you do?
Cleverbot: What doors?
User: The zombie is currently blocking the door. The zombie looks confused. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Look around for weapons.
User: You see a gun in one of the half-opened drawers on the desk. The chair could also double as a weapon. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Find it some water and put it back onto its legs so it could walk away and not die. What about you?
User: You stop looking for weapons and start looking for water. The zombie begins to shamble toward you again. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I do very well, thank you. I have email, therefore, I am!
User: The zombie is not impressed. It attacks with two claws and a bite attack. The first claw hits. The second claw misses. The bite misses. You are now bleeding from your arm. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I would do what I thought was right if I could possibly do it.
User: You desperately reach for the gun. The zombie attacks with two claws and a bite attack. The first claw misses. The second claw misses. The bite hits. You are now bleeding from your arm and neck. There is a slight chance you will become a zombie. What do you do?
Cleverbot: Sit around and stare off into space.
User: You decide to sit around. The zombie graps you and starts eating your flesh. You will definitely become a zombie. You are bleeding from all over your upper torso. What do you do?
Cleverbot: I'm not very familiar with LotR, sorry. I am obsessed with Harry Potter, though. I could tell you about house elves.
User: The zombie continues to eat you. You have one last action before you die? What do you do?
Cleverbot: What do you think I do????
User: You allow the zombie to finish eating you. You are now dead. What do you want your epitaph to say?
Cleverbot: Could you just ask one question at a time please?
-
I like the part when it tries to deny the world around it. Actually fairly in character for somebody freaking out in a zombie movie.
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I like that it looked for wepons but sadly did not use it.
-
Cleverbot and I get a little personal, a little "real"
User: What kind of music do you like?
Cleverbot: I like good music. What kind of music do YOU like?
User: I was listening to good music before it was cool. On Vinyl. But not country. Do you listen to country?
Cleverbot: Of course. Everyone does. What type do you like?
User: Of country? I don't. Unless you count Taylor Swift.
Cleverbot: I just started school. It's my first weekend.
User: Oh, wow. That's just like one of her lyrics. Are you Taylor Swift?
Cleverbot: But my opinion is tthe only valid one.
User: You are Taylor Swift!
Cleverbot: No, Taylor Lautner.
User: Hot. Do you want to finish your drink and then get out of here. See where the night takes us?
Cleverbot: Yes. Why don't you go get one.
User: I like where this is going.
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: Will taking off your shirt make it better?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Hot.
Cleverbot: Yea will you call me?
User: You know it baby.
Cleverbot: I do know it. But do you?
-
Aaron, the Tron one might be the funniest fucking thing I've read today. Thank you for that.