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General Category => General Chaos => : Patrick February 02, 2011, 04:38:30 PM

: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Patrick February 02, 2011, 04:38:30 PM
If you could pick any two historical or fictional persons to fight, who would they be?

Why do you think your guy would win?

Tommy "Johnny-Don't-Touch-Me-Mudderfucker-From-The-Room" Wiseau vs. Austin Powers

I think Johnny would win this fight hands down! Did you see him man-handle Chris R. on the roof? What about his freakish strength when he sent Mark flying across his living room?

Oh yeah, my money is a Johnny...

Who rule Bordertown bitch?!
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 02, 2011, 04:54:29 PM
Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison.
A contest of direct current, Franklin's channeled lightning against Edison's created lightning.

Nikola Tesla and Aristotle.
Fictional death ray against fictional death ray.

After both of those fights, the two winners team up against the two losers. Each combo combines their creations to create a new, multi-weapon, which are them pitted against each other.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: clockworkjoe February 02, 2011, 05:06:11 PM
Helen Keller vs Anne Frank

Keller has the RAGE but Frank has the eyesight and stealth powers
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 02, 2011, 05:27:59 PM
Jack McCoy against Phoenix Wright

I know where my money goes on this fight.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Charlie72 February 02, 2011, 06:43:08 PM
Helen Keller vs Anne Frank

Keller has the RAGE but Frank has the eyesight and stealth powers
I'm going with the original  Lizzie Borden vs. Anne Frank.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Moondog February 02, 2011, 06:53:31 PM
Robin Hood vs Captain Blood.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: rayner23 February 02, 2011, 07:24:03 PM
The Lindberg baby vs. the Hindenberg blimp.

My wife pointed out that one of these is an object and I hit her in her fucking mouth.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: clockworkjoe February 02, 2011, 07:29:52 PM
The Lindberg baby vs. the Hindenberg blimp.

My wife pointed out that one of these is an object and I hit her in her fucking mouth.

they're both objects

your face is also an object
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 02, 2011, 07:30:03 PM
The Lindberg baby vs. the Hindenberg blimp.

My wife pointed out that one of these is an object and I hit her in her fucking mouth.

Cody Vs. Sam.

Round 2, Grudge Match.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: rayner23 February 02, 2011, 07:34:29 PM
I dress as a clown and Sam is paralyzed with fear.


As I type this, she keeps shouting "Sam wins! Sam wins because she has a vagina!"
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 02, 2011, 07:43:54 PM
I dress as a clown and Sam is paralyzed with fear.

As I type this, she keeps shouting "Sam wins! Sam wins because she has a vagina!"

That does lean the contest in her favor.


Moving forward,

Gwar Vs. Lordi

Fallout Boy Vs. The Killers

Zombie Alexander Hamilton Vs. Cloned-Cyber Aaron Burr

Abraham Lincoln off of a penny Vs. Abraham Lincoln off of a five dollar bill. One is made entirely of copper and the other is made entirely of green ink.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: crash2455 February 02, 2011, 07:51:25 PM
Abraham Lincoln off of a penny Vs. Abraham Lincoln off of a five dollar bill. One is made entirely of copper and the other is made entirely of green ink.

So green ink Lincoln would be some kind of T-1000?  Are you saying we should remake T2 with Abraham Lincolns?
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Salkovich February 02, 2011, 07:54:52 PM
Abraham Lincoln off of a penny Vs. Abraham Lincoln off of a five dollar bill. One is made entirely of copper and the other is made entirely of green ink.

So green ink Lincoln would be some kind of T-1000?  Are you saying we should remake T2 with Abraham Lincolns?

I'm so onboard for this.

Fonzi versus Chachi

All of Mike Myers' Characters versus All of Tyler Perry's Characters

: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: rayner23 February 02, 2011, 08:19:09 PM


All of Mike Myers' Characters versus All of Tyler Perry's Characters



Three-way battle versus all of Eddie Murphy's characters.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: rayner23 February 02, 2011, 08:20:08 PM
Syphilis vs. chlamydia vs. Order66
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Dom February 02, 2011, 08:57:59 PM
Humphrey Bogart vs. Clint Eastwood

Unstoppable force, immovable object, etc.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Robot Master February 02, 2011, 08:58:25 PM
Stephen Hawking vs. Jan Michael Vincent (without Airwolf but with drugs)

William Hung vs. Iggy Pop

Leonardo Da Vinci vs. Crispin Glover

Ludwig von Beethoven vs. Justin Bieber

Gary Gygax/L. Ron Hubbard/JRR Tolkein/Homer/Hemmingway (all in their prime)in a no-holds barred battle royale with boffer weapons against the top 4 LARPers in the country.





: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: crash2455 February 02, 2011, 08:59:55 PM
Syphilis vs. chlamydia vs. Order66

WHOEVER WINS, WE LOSE
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Moondog February 02, 2011, 09:48:21 PM
Stephen Hawking vs. Jan Michael Vincent (without Airwolf but with drugs)

William Hung vs. Iggy Pop

Leonardo Da Vinci vs. Crispin Glover

Ludwig von Beethoven vs. Justin Bieber

Gary Gygax/L. Ron Hubbard/JRR Tolkein/Homer/Hemmingway (all in their prime)in a no-holds barred battle royale with boffer weapons against the top 4 LARPers in the country.







Throw in Richard Garriot, and you've got Pay-Per-View Gold!

He may however actually have an unfair advantage,  being a member of the SFCA and therefore probably skilled in actual medieval-esque swordplay.

Then again, Gygax has a +3 Mace.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: SageNytell February 02, 2011, 11:02:33 PM
Mike vs. Bill.  :-\

Penn vs. Teller!
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Mckma February 03, 2011, 12:20:26 AM
Gordan Freeman vs. Duke Nukem
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 03, 2011, 11:23:10 AM
Pat Morita vs. Laurence Fishburne
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Moondog February 03, 2011, 12:02:05 PM
Squirrel Girl vs Batman.

(Vic Sage) Question vs Rorschach

Marco Hietala vs Tony Kakko.

Rob Zombie vs George Romero

John Romero vs Uwe Boll

Lowtax vs moot
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Salkovich February 03, 2011, 12:14:21 PM
Ross versus Caleb (IT'LL HAPPEN DAMMIT)

Adam Scott Glancy versus Cthulhu

Elvis versus Mark Twain

George R.R. Martin versus The Personification of Productivity

The Cast of X-Files versus the Cast of Fringe

The Taco Bell Dog versus the Coca-Cola Polar Bears

: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Patrick February 03, 2011, 12:55:02 PM
All of your moms versus my mom.

My mom is a United States Marine Corp veteran, wore combat boots, trained with automatic weapons and toyed around with the idea of creating an RPG game system (okay, that last part I made up)...

Raven McCraken vs. Anne Rice

young Dolly Parton vs. young Charo
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Moondog February 03, 2011, 01:08:54 PM
All of your moms versus my mom.

My mom is a United States Marine Corp veteran, wore combat boots, trained with automatic weapons and toyed around with the idea of creating an RPG game system (okay, that last part I made up)...

Raven McCraken vs. Anne Rice

young Dolly Parton vs. young Charo

Raven C.S. McCracken would reduce Anne Rice to sucking on his wang so fast Vegas Hookers would line up to take notes on his efficacy. SYNNIBARR FOREVER
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: crash2455 February 03, 2011, 01:57:18 PM
Not to mention that he also owns more than one gladius.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Moondog February 03, 2011, 02:01:30 PM
It's a Midnight Sunstone Gladius.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 03, 2011, 02:04:15 PM
Everybody in Shadowrun vs Everybody in Cyberpunk 2020.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Moondog February 03, 2011, 02:07:51 PM
Not to de-rail, but something's always bugged me.

Is it glah-dee-us or glay-dee-us?
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 03, 2011, 02:11:20 PM
Well, in the original Latin it's "glădĭus".

But since Latin is a dead language and can't defend itself from modern speech, I'd say either works.

Also, Julius vs the Roman Senate but this time he sees them coming.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Dom February 03, 2011, 02:13:03 PM
Not to de-rail, but something's always bugged me.

Is it glah-dee-us or glay-dee-us?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gladius

Gley-dee-uh s
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Moondog February 03, 2011, 02:14:05 PM
Not to de-rail, but something's always bugged me.

Is it glah-dee-us or glay-dee-us?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gladius

Gley-dee-uh s

Huzzah, I pronounce it right, yaaaay.

Related: Civ Ghandi vs real world Montezuma
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Tadanori Oyama February 03, 2011, 02:17:38 PM
Harry Houdini vs David Coperfield. In space!


Christopher Lloyd vs. Christopher Walken with freeze rays.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Salkovich February 03, 2011, 02:29:20 PM
William Shatner versus a Shoggoth

: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: crash2455 February 03, 2011, 03:38:14 PM
Evony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenway vs Mary Sue
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Salkovich February 03, 2011, 03:44:22 PM
Puppy Cam versus The Cast of Lost
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Patrick February 03, 2011, 03:46:41 PM
Kittens vs. Puppies
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: clockworkjoe February 03, 2011, 05:14:39 PM
I've always pronounced it "DIE FOR THE GLORY OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE"
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: crash2455 February 03, 2011, 05:49:23 PM
BATTLE OF EPIC HISTORICAL INACCURACY

The Spartans from 300 vs Mel Gibson's platoon from The Patriot
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: rayner23 February 03, 2011, 06:28:01 PM
US Postal Service vs. UPS vs Fedex


Richard Branson vs Montgomery Burns
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Patrick February 03, 2011, 09:55:36 PM
Yellow Freight wins!
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Salkovich February 03, 2011, 09:59:18 PM
W.B. Yeats versus the Personification of Ireland

Shakespeare versus Modern English

Hamlet versus a high school guidance counselor.


: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: rayner23 February 03, 2011, 10:07:51 PM
Carl Winslow vs. the Marvel Universe
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Salkovich February 03, 2011, 10:13:20 PM
Zombie Heath Ledger versus Time-traveling Edgar Allan Poe.
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Robot Master February 03, 2011, 10:28:50 PM
Rick James vs. Rick Astley

Edit...because I thought up something AWESOME!

Slender Man vs. Manute Bol
: Re: Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
: Joven February 04, 2011, 11:58:42 PM
Lincoln Hawk vs Lincoln Hawks

Spiderman vs Triangle Man