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Messages - Cthuluzord

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General Chaos / Party Fowl: The Game of Drunk Ducks
« on: May 22, 2018, 05:26:41 PM »
Howdy everyone.

I made a board game. I think it's pretty fun. If you like the work I've done with RPPR, I'd appreciate it if you gave it a look:


Wow! Thanks for the kind words. That really made my day! And don't worry about the money thing; I get being poor, and I try to release as much stuff for free as I can. Anything you can provide is appreciated, but I'm just psyched you like my work. Thanks.

You DO need a copy of No Security. It's going to be a collectors item after Red Markets turns into a heartbreaker to rival that of Synnibarr. You can claim to have known the work of the new Raven McKracken before he was cool.

I Have A Fear

“…and so, while I guess, there’s not, like an actual actual reason I’m afraid of them, I’m just like totally freaked out by giant squids or krakens or whatever you want to call them. I know we’re landlocked and their cell walls explode above a certain crush depth and all that shit, but just the idea of one is enough. I mean—the word giant is in the name right? Think about what that means, you know? GIANT.

“Damn,” says Tyler, “no more kalimari for this one!”

Everyone laughs. No one means it. Two because it isn’t funny. Two because they don’t know what a “kalimari” is. One because he wasn’t really paying attention. Tyler because he’s desperately trying to keep up the façade of normality that holds back a crushing tide of existential despair. It’s that kind of crowd.

“SOooooo who else?” Tyler beams, slipping the ‘light-hearted, conversation-starting mischief’ mask on that black orb of depression he keeps trying to masquerade as a head. “Who else wants to share their greatest fear this Halloween night?”

“Oh c’mon, Ty” Magda says, nervously scanning these chrome fixtures indicating a club too-expensive for her to keep drinking at. “ ‘Give me a list of your greatest fears?’ It’s a bit transparent as an evil plan?”

Her catty-ness is not trying to hide anything vulnerable from the group. Magda just can’t stomach to listening to Tyler much longer. She’d always kind of frenemied him, but ever since a mutual acquaintance had described him to her as ‘the edgiest youth pastor at Bible Camp’ the image had kind of stuck, and she couldn’t stand him any longer.


Tyler makes this soundboard-perfect maniacal laugh in response. Everyone laughs, but weaker this time. Tyler feels his mask slip.

Then Greg says, “I have a fear.”

It is not expected for Greg to participate in this Halloween icebreaker– or any other conversation, for that matter – due to the fact that pretty much everyone knows that publicly listing his greatest fears in any form of public speaking, especially at a swank club, would have to be, ironically, one of Greg’s greatest fears.

But no. It’s much worse than that.

(Wait…why was he invited again? Does anyone know? You?)

Greg says, “I get this feeling sometimes that I can see through time. Not in a like a hippy-dippy way, but in the same way you can see chess moves or think in…what is it?...counterfactual terms. I think that’s the word. So, I feel like I can see events, if not perfectly, then with a pretty large degree of accuracy. And this sensation gets way worse when I’m at points I can recognize as big choices in my life. Not the Butterfly Effect little stuff, but major decisions which you know are make-or-break moments. Moments where you can literally picture Door Number A and a Door Number B. Where to go to school. Which job to take. Marriage. Kids.  Stuff like that.”

“I can see these sorts of things like branching paths, and it’s easy for me to think these visions of possible futures are correct because, what with all the other choices between my current crossroads and future destination, I’m not even going to recognize that other road by the time I reach the next intersection. Like, that other path is going to be so in the rearview that it’ll be invisible, and I’ll have nothing to compare my past predictions to except the persistence of the present…which is about the most persistent thing there is, when you really think about it. “

“Sorry…rambling again. Anyway, my fear is that when I’m inside these moments and really believing in these alternate timelines, I look ahead and see the best path – the full Voltaire best-of-all-possible-worlds package – and the man I see there totally disgusts me. I’m afraid that, from my current position in life, I’m always going to view success with this sort of knee-jerk, reactionary scorn that I’ll never be able to root out. I worry that I see my best self – waiting down there to become me at the end of a very clear path of choices leading to the best possible outcome – I worry that I see myself there and I just find that guy to be the. Most. Insufferable. Asshole.”

“Like, I fear that I’m so fucking programmed with the need to hate myself, that I view the mere possibility that I might be better one day as this tragic story that’s yet to happen. This moment of pyrrhic victory I’ll do anything I can to avoid. No fate worse than the smarmy, insufferable dickhead I’m just certain I’ll become if I let something good happen.”

“So anyway, Tyler, my Halloween fear is that I see these choices every second of every day, and my unshakable need to hate myself consistently makes me take the worst path with even consciously registering I’m doing it. I’m afraid I make the worse choice constantly. I’m afraid I’m making this mistake right now: telling you this, sitting in this nice restaurant with friends. I worry that this one is the one: the choice that will cause me the most pain in all the possible worlds, a quantum collapse of a life. I worry that I’m always going to be here because I’m always going to choose to be here, and whatever happens I’m always going to believe…truly believe…that I deserve it.”

Greg was a real hit at costume parties, but Tyler didn’t invite him to his next one. Tyler also didn’t have a next one.

Magda felt a vague sort of attraction to Greg after the speech – in a weird way, obviously – but she wrote it off in the next moment as something that would probably never work out.

The two other friends didn’t know what the majority of those words had meant, and they had joined the one who wasn’t really paying much attention.


Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: The L5R Loan Offer
« on: August 19, 2016, 01:15:25 PM »
I'd be interested to read some L5R. If I'm honest, "samurai" is probably my all time favorite film genre of anything. I've read the Hagakure, The Book of Five Rings, Rashomon, etc. I'm the kind of nerd that has a favorite in the Samurai trilogy (II, of course), owns all the Shogun Assassin films and the complete Lone Wolf and Cub manga line (along with Samurai Executioner), and has seen Hari Kiri as both the original and remake. I love me some samurai stuff, is what I'm saying.

But I don't think we'd ever get a campaign out of it for the following reasons.

  • I've not seen the system yet, but there's a lot of reaction to it that makes me skeptical. d20, in general, infuriates me in lengthy amounts of play. I'd have to check the rules in depth, but I couldn't run something for long with the crunch of any system that would be called d20 by most people. I mean, maybe L5R just uses a d20 and there the similarities end, but I'm hesitant.
  • There seems to be A LOT of world lore in it. I'm not sure I want my samurai fighting anything except other samurai in the Edo period; not to mention a bunch of scorpion Oni or whatever the fuck. Then there's the fictional political intrigue amongst all the fictional the clans...I'd probably throw all that out and start fresh. I mean, if we're already making things up, I'd prefer getting the fun doing it myself and having some room to breath. In general, the more established as setting is, the less I'm interested (with the notable exception of EP's "maybe it is, maybe it isn't" setting design). This means the system would have to be good enough to save from the lore (which I don't know), and I'd be disappointing everyone that wants to hear L5R (which are the only people that would listen, because the game is old and won't attract those "new hotness" hits
  • The japanophile urge amongst RPPR members varies wildly. You wanna talk Sengoku period history? I'm totally IN...but Aaron, Tom, and Ross tune out once I talk about how many koku your prefecture owes in taxes that season. Wanna go all anime? Shaun and Aaron will break down the door to get into that game...and I will quietly sneak out the back. Want to do no more than name a character something from outside the a judeo-christian tradition? Jason will look at his phone for twenty sessions rather than engage. Ross, David, and I will be all about modern Tokyo espionage...Tom will make a forger/sniper. Finding a group of players that would give a damn about L5R to play at all, no to mention a campaign, would be a dicey prospect.

So I don't think it's going to happen. I'm really excited for "Reflections" and other games that might map on to the tropes of samurai genre without so much baggage, but I haven't found something to make me really advocate for it. And even if I did, that would be no guarantee. As Ross mentioned, we just have too damned many games to play as is. I'm lucky when I can get a spot to run anything, so it needs to be something everyone has an equal amount of engagement in.

General Chaos / Re: List of Caleb's Interviews?
« on: June 27, 2016, 03:05:29 AM »
btw rppr gents have a centralized repository of interviews/actual plays for fans next kickstarter :p

Please advise which interview called him a Nazi. I've got to hear that.

Here's what I gathered from Caleb's twitter feed a few days before the end of the kickstarter.

List assembled here:,2026.msg46278.html#msg46278

Nobody called me a nazi in an interview or podcast. One of the ones that mentioned Red Markets questioned me as some far-Right Republican, but that's about it for verbal nonsense. I got called the really bad stuff in threads on various forum threads.

If you have questions, I'll try to answer them here, but I'll get to you faster if you post on the campaign page itself.

My thanks to all of you for helping the project get this far.

RPGs / Re: Red Markets Inspiration
« on: May 23, 2016, 10:45:54 AM »

RPGs / Re: Red Markets at GenCon/Upcoming Beta
« on: May 23, 2016, 10:45:17 AM »

Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: Red Markets Rewards
« on: May 23, 2016, 10:45:01 AM »

General Chaos / Re: Red Markets Beta Campaign: Spires of Deception
« on: May 23, 2016, 10:44:13 AM »

General Chaos / Re: Kickstarter: Cool Stuff
« on: May 23, 2016, 10:43:31 AM »

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