106
RPGs / Re: What Are You Playing Now?
« on: November 25, 2010, 07:24:18 PM »(plus doesn't he like, play music or do drugs during his games?)
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107
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: Help us pick The Best of RPPR!
« on: November 14, 2010, 07:18:01 PM »
Do the hotel scene from Gaga 2.0. It might be my favorite thing you guys have ever done.
EDIT: "Oh. Well, have a grenade."
EDIT: "Oh. Well, have a grenade."
108
RPGs / Re: Anecdote Megathread
« on: November 13, 2010, 06:24:48 PM »
I really can't decide if his gaming or his socializing was the worst thing about him.
109
RPGs / Re: Anecdote Megathread
« on: November 13, 2010, 05:02:31 PM »
I tell you this in only the strictest confidence. I may have played in the most incompetent campaign ever.
Originally, I was going to go on and on and on with how I came to meet the worst DM in the entire world, but there's far too much to cover. Instead, I'd like to give you a bullet point list of the various indignities I was subject to, and frankly subjected myself to, before finally understanding that BAD GAMING IS WORSE THAN NO GAMING.
-Imaginative Houserules!
I thought the DM was kidding when he said I need to "roll up a dragon
" when I was creating a character. As it turned out, every member of the party had been given a special ring that allows the user to turn into a Dragonborn instantly, allowing you to switch between entire characters as a free action. Also, we could swap out any of our abilities for free at any time. We could grow wings and a Dragonborn head whenever! We were also all telepathic, and could teleport to any location we had visited.
-Skillful Storytelling!
The aforementioned magic rings were given to us by an NPC simply called "the Battlemaster." It was our sworn duty (apparently) to band together and stop a war that happened THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO AND IS GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN FOR SOME REASON I GUESS? We didn't really get any precise instructions on how to stop the mystery war, but a we were expressly told that the first step was to liberate an airship that was actually a living construct that was also a spelljammer (?!)
-An Amazing Cast of Characters!
We were able to interact with a grand total of three NPCs in the first month of the game. One of them was a talking table.
-Challenging Combat!
In the beginning, he would throw a lot of monsters at us that were two levels below us, and he would get flustered when we barely needed to use a healing surge. Eventually he would become visibly angry when we would turn his dumbass rules around and actually use them in combat. I don't think there was a single time we were legitimately bloodied. Except, you know, when he would say an attack hit us without rolling for it because "trust me, it would have hit."
-Scintillating Situations!
He had a female black dragon in his campaign that more or less raped all of our characters systematically. He couldn't understand why we found the idea objectionable.
-Exciting Locales!
By express order of the DM, we weren't allowed to play at anyone's house. He set up shop in a local restaurant and would awkwardly flirt with the college-age waitstaff. He was 45, balding, was equipped with a horribly unkempt beard, wore shorts everywhere, had giant old people glasses, and was pretty consistently bedecked in superhero t-shirts. This, as you can imagine, was rather awkward for me.
-Dynamic Environments!
Within two months of the game beginning, we were transported to Gamma World to find and recover a SECOND living-spelljammer-magic-airship. My character had his hand replaced with a shotgun after I made a joke about Monks not having ranged abilities. Also, various mutations turned my skeleton into metal, allowed our party's dwarf to control nanomachines with his mind, and made our warrior grow a second fire-breathing head.
That's not even the half of it. I may compose this into actual stories at one point, but it's hard to even start.
Originally, I was going to go on and on and on with how I came to meet the worst DM in the entire world, but there's far too much to cover. Instead, I'd like to give you a bullet point list of the various indignities I was subject to, and frankly subjected myself to, before finally understanding that BAD GAMING IS WORSE THAN NO GAMING.
-Imaginative Houserules!
I thought the DM was kidding when he said I need to "roll up a dragon
" when I was creating a character. As it turned out, every member of the party had been given a special ring that allows the user to turn into a Dragonborn instantly, allowing you to switch between entire characters as a free action. Also, we could swap out any of our abilities for free at any time. We could grow wings and a Dragonborn head whenever! We were also all telepathic, and could teleport to any location we had visited.-Skillful Storytelling!
The aforementioned magic rings were given to us by an NPC simply called "the Battlemaster." It was our sworn duty (apparently) to band together and stop a war that happened THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO AND IS GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN FOR SOME REASON I GUESS? We didn't really get any precise instructions on how to stop the mystery war, but a we were expressly told that the first step was to liberate an airship that was actually a living construct that was also a spelljammer (?!)
-An Amazing Cast of Characters!
We were able to interact with a grand total of three NPCs in the first month of the game. One of them was a talking table.
-Challenging Combat!
In the beginning, he would throw a lot of monsters at us that were two levels below us, and he would get flustered when we barely needed to use a healing surge. Eventually he would become visibly angry when we would turn his dumbass rules around and actually use them in combat. I don't think there was a single time we were legitimately bloodied. Except, you know, when he would say an attack hit us without rolling for it because "trust me, it would have hit."
-Scintillating Situations!
He had a female black dragon in his campaign that more or less raped all of our characters systematically. He couldn't understand why we found the idea objectionable.
-Exciting Locales!
By express order of the DM, we weren't allowed to play at anyone's house. He set up shop in a local restaurant and would awkwardly flirt with the college-age waitstaff. He was 45, balding, was equipped with a horribly unkempt beard, wore shorts everywhere, had giant old people glasses, and was pretty consistently bedecked in superhero t-shirts. This, as you can imagine, was rather awkward for me.
-Dynamic Environments!
Within two months of the game beginning, we were transported to Gamma World to find and recover a SECOND living-spelljammer-magic-airship. My character had his hand replaced with a shotgun after I made a joke about Monks not having ranged abilities. Also, various mutations turned my skeleton into metal, allowed our party's dwarf to control nanomachines with his mind, and made our warrior grow a second fire-breathing head.
That's not even the half of it. I may compose this into actual stories at one point, but it's hard to even start.
111
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: The RPPR fan-fic
« on: November 09, 2010, 02:40:51 AM »
nope
112
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: November 04, 2010, 02:19:48 AM »
man whatever works
I ain't picky
I ain't picky
113
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: November 03, 2010, 10:42:47 PM »Realize we won't bail you out.
C'mon. It could be a Kickstarter.
114
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: November 01, 2010, 06:35:33 PM »
I fully blame this podcast for making me research meth lab booby traps for two hours.
115
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: Omar Shakti Must Die
« on: October 31, 2010, 08:32:51 PM »
I tried listening to it but it seemed a little too web comic zany
maybe i should try again because i am a humorless stooge
maybe i should try again because i am a humorless stooge
116
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: October 31, 2010, 07:11:48 PM »
Did Aaron just run from a prostitute? Like, actually ran away from a prostitute?
Is that a thing that he actually made a decision to do?
Is that a thing that he actually made a decision to do?
117
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: October 31, 2010, 06:27:54 PM »
"Shit, man, this ain't Rent-to-own! This is weed!"
That is absolutely priceless.
That is absolutely priceless.
118
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: October 31, 2010, 05:40:38 PM »
does Caleb still play with you guys because he is pretty much hilarious
also he doesn't seem totally comfortable with criticism but that's a weird thing to say
also he doesn't seem totally comfortable with criticism but that's a weird thing to say
119
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: October 26, 2010, 08:16:28 PM »
You know what? Just a lukewarm glass of tap water mixed with a bottle of black food coloring.
120
Role Playing Public Radio Podcast / Re: An Open Letter to Ross so-called Payton
« on: October 26, 2010, 06:08:35 PM »I only listen because of Tom.
I love him you know. I wish I was him.
I want Tom to record audio books, or come out with a comedy CD, or a mixed non-alcoholic beverage named after him.
That's pretty much the most apt tribute.
also, I thought Tom was cool until he admitted to being a furry on an internet radio show