The paladin in that game really was the star of the show. From using his high charisma to get out of awkward situations, to combining a ring of blinking and a sword of sharpness (several lost limbs in the party later...), to attempting to "break a door down quietly", to tribal genocide and mass deforestation, he always had a unique view on how to get things done.
Now THAT, on the other hand, sounds like crazy fun. Any chance we could hear more about the tribal genocide and/or mass deforestation?
Well, since you asked so nicely, how could I refuse?
Both instances actually took place at more or less the same time. This was at the time that the paladin (his name was Gildor, by the way) flew his amethyst dragon to Oz, a desert land inhabited by independent tribes, and famous for the big rock, and a place called The Bush (basically, a parody of Australia).
The paladin had it in mind that he would "evangelise" to these simple, tribal people, as a service to his goddess, and expose them to the awesome glory of Gond (yes, there is a god in Forgotten Realms called Gond. This is a different, female, trickster Gond). He had heard the stories about the big rock, and indeed it was quite impressively large, and red, and surrounded by desert. He could see from the back of his shimmering amethyst mount a few small groups of native inhabitants - after all, there was little blocking their vision for miles in every direction. But how could he get the message out to them of the good news of Gond? Then his cunning mind had a plan.
He looked around for a suitable writing implement. The best thing he could find was a rather scraggly tree, the only one that he could see for miles in the sparseness of the sands. He ordered his dragon to pluck it out, and to take it over to the big rock. Ahh, he seemed to have the attention of the locals now who, upon seeing a dragon uproot the only bush in their entire realm (hence it's name, The Bush), which they considered sacred, were shocked. Their shock became outrageous anger when the dragon proceeded, at it's master's command, to use the uprooted stump to carve into the only other landmark of their lands, the giant rock, "Worship Gond! Gildor was here" in giant letters across its face.
He then waited as the crowds of local tribal people came towards him, expecting to answer their questions about this new and mighty goddess they should worship. Instead, it seemed that the pressing issue on their lips was the recent de-forestation of an entire continent, and the defacing of their two most sacred places - The Bush and The Rock. In fact, they didn't want to talk so much as act. With their simple, bone spears, they pointed and prodded and yelled and gesticulated wildly in their local tongues. Of course, like all good missionaries, Gildor could not speak the native dialect, and so he just proceeded to nod and smile, before setting fire to the uprooted bush in case they were having separation issues.
This was the final straw for the natives, who began poking their spears at the armoured holy knight upon his dragon mount. "Ooga! Booga! Spear!" was pretty much how the paladin translated their angry ravings. Growing sick and tired (and bored - patience was not a virtue of his) of their idle threats, he decided to give them a show of what Gond's power was like, and replied, "Ooga! Booga! Breath Weapon!", indicating to his dragon that it should, as it were, fire into the crowd. A sonic boom erupted, bodies flew, and as the dust settled, the entire nation of Oz stood depopulated - no more bush, no more tribesmen, and a defaced national landmark.
Dusting his hands, and announcing that his work here was done, he spurred his dragon to flight, and returned home, telling his party compatriots that he was successful in his mission - which was to punish the unbelievers of Oz. That's what he set out to do, right?
