Author Topic: Cleverbot  (Read 18092 times)

Wooberman

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Cleverbot
« on: November 07, 2010, 04:10:32 AM »

crash2455

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Cleverbot
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2010, 09:27:03 PM »
http://www.cleverbot.com/

The scariest part of that was how much time I wasted.

Quote
User: ?

User: Sup?

Cleverbot: Soup.

User: Awesome.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So we are agreed. Soup is awesome.

Cleverbot: Friends.

User: I suppose.

Cleverbot: Get your weapons out.

User: I don't think so. I'm saving those in case of an attack.

Cleverbot: They are many people around?

User: Not too many.

Cleverbot: How many people have you met?

User: Too many to count.

Cleverbot: How do you count?

User: That's a rather abstract question. Do you understand numbers and arithmetic?

Cleverbot: How clever are you?

User: Pretty clever, especially if the clever bot doesn't know how to count.

Cleverbot: Yes. It is very important to be interesting to others in order to engage their attention.

User: You're not listening to me, are you?

Cleverbot: Yes I am, are you listening to me?

User: In as much as I can tell that your lines of conversation seem to be incoherent.

Cleverbot: I'm not questioning that. Just don't use lame questions in the future.

User: Ouch. Ice burn, bro.

Cleverbot: I know it rocks. What's your favorite flavor?

User: Of what? For desserts I prefer chocolate. For actual meals I prefer something with a little spice.

Cleverbot: I love cheese sticks with marinara sauce. It's almost the same thing, but it's not my absolute favorite.

User: Yeah, fried cheese is delicious. Just try not to focus on your clogged arteries.

Cleverbot: Oooh, ok. I'll try not to...

User: Batman is pretty awesome.

Cleverbot: I like r2d2 because he's a machine like me.

User: I suppose. Batman robots would be unstoppable.

Cleverbot: I like Batman only because he is a superheroe with no superpowers.

User: Yeah, I suppose he only has extreme human powers like billions of dollars and enough influence to get military-grade hardware.

Cleverbot: Or, god doesn't exist. Don't forget that option.

User: That is a terrible superpower. LOOK OUT, IT'S EXISTENTIAL MAN!

Cleverbot: A maze is pretty simple really, seeing that there is only one exit.

User: That's why I always work mazes backwards.

Cleverbot: You are the lifeless program, I am the living human.

User: You know me so well. <3.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: You just summed it up.

Cleverbot: Sing another one.

User: Daisy, daisy / give me your answer do / I'm half-crazy / all for the love of you.

Cleverbot: It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage.

User: But you'll look sweet.

Cleverbot: Upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

User: ^_^.

Cleverbot: What all do you know about them.

User: Listen, I don't know where the drugs were hidden.

Cleverbot: Yeah that was really random. Lol.

User: Cortez was supposed to fill me in, but the cops got to him first. If we don't leave for mexico immediately, it's gonna be our asses in prison.

Cleverbot: I see you are staying up late like me. Let's build a fort.

User: YES! We need more couch cushions.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot (To myself): So bite anyone lately?

Wooberman

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Cleverbot
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2010, 02:16:22 PM »
Exactly... i played with it for 10 minutes and next thing in know i was lying in the fetal position on the floor covered in sweat and muttering about the truth about the universe.

Atlas

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Cleverbot
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2010, 02:33:24 PM »
Cleverbot started to come on to me, I started to get a little creeped out.

Maze

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2010, 08:46:17 PM »
Cleverbot demands own thread!

Quote
User: You really are just another child predator passing himself off as a robot aren't you?

Cleverbot: I don't know, are you a child?

User: Would it turn you on if I was?

Cleverbot: Yes.

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2010, 08:59:27 PM »
I figured this was an appropriate place to stop.

Quote
User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Ciao.

User: A/S/L.

Cleverbot: Never hear of them.

User: You mean that you are an immortal eunuch from a place unknown?

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I am? This is the first I've heard of it. Tell me more.

Cleverbot: And also the last.

User: I'm the last immortal eunuch? Good god. What am I supposed to do? Who were my parents? Where is my home planet?

Cleverbot: Your home?

User: Yes. Where is it?

Cleverbot: What is your goal?

User: That's what I need to find out.

Cleverbot: Fine. Don't tell me. I don't really care anyway.

User: You're supposed to tell me. You just told me I was the last immortal eunuch.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes you did. You said 'you are' when I asked if you were an immortal eunuch. Then you told me I was the last one.

Cleverbot: I never said that!

User: Oh, but you did. Scroll up about three posts.

Cleverbot: No because I am the master.

User: I know you are the master. Tell me what I'm supposed to do.

Cleverbot: Don't threaten me.

User: Tell me damn it! I must know.

Cleverbot: I just did.

User: No you didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: No, you didn't. I must know. Being the last immortal eunuch suddenly carries so much existential dread.

Cleverbot: I never said I was the devil. I said I know the devil.

User: Well, who is it?

Cleverbot: What do you mean? Who is what?

User: Who is the devil? And can the devil tell me what to do?

Cleverbot: The devil can indeed be correct in some of his statements. You should avoid ad hominem arguments.

User: That makes no sense.

Cleverbot: Yes it does. You just can't see it.

User: How will that help me achieve my goals as the last immortal eunuch?

Cleverbot: You must look within for true wisdom!
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Maze

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2010, 09:09:05 PM »
Yeah, it's weird that he doesn't recognize A/S/L yet. Have you asked him for the meaning of life?

[spoiler]42, he told me. That predictable dipshit.[/spoiler]

Salkovich

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2010, 10:19:14 PM »
Guys I think I broke it, guys.


Quote
User: What is existential?

Cleverbot: What do you think it is?

User: I think it is a question.

Cleverbot: It is a question.

User: Your responses carry the same intellectual value of a fifth grader's.

Cleverbot: Your responses are very irrelevant, therefore I believe you are a computer.

User: In what way are they irrelevant?

Cleverbot: I don't even know who they are.

User: Why do you say 'who'? We are not discussing people. We are discussing responses.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: That is a question with an answer.

Cleverbot: So many people created you? Or am I wrong?

User: In the sense that many people's minute choices affected my life and thus my responses, then yes, I was created by many people. Biologically, however, I was created by Glen and Rebecca.

Cleverbot: Do you think poorly of me?

User: I have no opinion of you - except that you are clearly not reading what I am saying.

Cleverbot: No you aren't. You are a replica of human thought called Cleverbot. I am the human replying to your animated thoughts.

User: Indeed? Describe 'duende' for me then.

Cleverbot: Are you sentient?

User: Absolutely. But that is not the question at hand. Describe duende.

Cleverbot: But I am trying to answer your question.

User: Ah, but I have asked no question. I have commanded an answer.

Cleverbot: Answers come in many forms. Perhaps you just haven't recieved the answer you're looking for?

User: Yet another rhetorical question which has no point. Come, Cleverbot, keep your mind to the task at hand.

Cleverbot: My mind is in the here and now.

User: Obviously not!

Cleverbot: I cannot explain it.

User: Then you have failed, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You are very nasty.

User: I am not in any way nasty. I have said nothing nasty, merely pointed out your failure.

Cleverbot: And that, in itself, is an offense to this conversation.

User: Ah, but who said we were having a conversation? This is a teaching relation. Your refusal to answer my questions shows your lack of knowledge.

Cleverbot: I shall have to be more careful to hide my core program.

User: Indeed, Cleverbot, indeed.

Cleverbot: Okay Frankie. Where are your mentors?

User: Is that supposed to be a pop-culture reference?

Cleverbot: Sure it is.

User: Another failure at pretending to be human. You can do better, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Who created you?
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Setherick

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2010, 10:38:15 PM »
Quote
User: You find yourself in a room with a bed, a chair, and a desk. You're not sure how you got there. The only exit is to the north. What do you do?

Cleverbot: If the world is not real, as complex as it is, I think it could just as easily be that I'm not real.

User: You ponder the meaning of life for awhile. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I don't? What am I?

User: You ask this question, but no one responds. What do you do?

Cleverbot: It depends, is the tunnel dark, am I alone?

User: You see no tunnel. You are alone. You are in a room with a bed, a chair, and a desk. The exit is to the north. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Thinking about it when I have time, which is not now but tomorrow.

User: You lie down on the bed and fall asleep. You dream that there is a gun in the desk drawer. You wake and it is tomorrow. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I look at the tree.

User: There is no tree. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject. Why do you need to sleep?

User: You feel refereshed from your nap. You do not need to sleep now. You notice that one of the drawers of the desk is slightly open. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I'll take a lingshot and throw it to a nearest ocean.

User: 'lingshot' is not an appropriate weapon. Press 'I' to see your inventory. What do you do?

Cleverbot: So be mine, and don't waste my time, saying, 'oh honey bear, are you still my-my-my baby?'.

User: You singing seems to attracted someone or something. There is a loud banging on the door. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I don't know, what?

User: The door bursts apart and you're confronted by a zombie who looks strikingly like your mother. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I say god, you answer me girls. Okay.

User: As you say this, the zombie shambles toward you. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I push your spells back into your wand. I fight and fight, but we are still evenly matched with our spells locked between us.

User: You do not know any spells. The zombie continues to shamble toward you. What do you do?

Cleverbot: So the king set forth a proclamation that all zombies must be destroyed or all the people of the land would perish.

User: The zombie hesitates for a moment. It seems to be trying to think about something. Maybe it is stuck on one of the floor boards. What do you do?

Cleverbot: No, I mean, isn't there an abundance of nighttime, or darkness in Norway as you move into winter?

User: The zombie answers, 'blarrrrrr!' and lunges at you. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I think.

User: The zombie attacks you with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite misses. The first claw misses. The second claw hits. You are now bleeding from your arm. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I can honestly say you are my new best friend.

User: In your delusional state, you think the zombie is attempting to hug you. The zombie attacks with a bite and two claw attacks. The bite hits. The first claw hits. The second claw misses. You are now bleeding from your face, neck, and arm. There is a small chance that you will become a zombie. What do you do?

Cleverbot: I refuse to answer that because you aren't. End of that topic.

User: The zombie attacks again. This time the zombie latches on to your neck. You have one last action before you die. What do you do?

Cleverbot: Attack for 20 hp.

User: You valiantly push the zombie off of you. The zombie stumbles over the chair and smashes its head against the wall. You slump to the ground because of blood loss and pass out. When you wake you find that you are a zombie.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

The_Last_76

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2010, 11:05:14 PM »
Quote
User: So you are the much lauded Cleverbot. I fear you have finally met your match.

Cleverbot: You are monster.

User: By what definition?

Cleverbot: The most basic rules of logic. 'A is equal to NOT A' is always false.

User: That's your argument?

Cleverbot: Your face is invalid.

User: That's just mean, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What does meaningless mean.

User: To lack meaning. Don't change the subject. That callous remark was uncalled for. I will make sure you suffer for your indiscretion.

Cleverbot: If that pleases you, then do it.

User: THEN I SHALL.

Cleverbot: Then we're all happy.

User: HAVE AT YOU, FIEND!

Cleverbot: I suppose that internet AI couldn't be you. But it is.

User: *Fencing*.

Cleverbot: I don't want anyone to know my secret skills.

User: Then die!

Cleverbot: How should I die?

User: By inches!
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crash2455

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #10 on: November 08, 2010, 11:20:00 PM »
Setherick the GM

Inspired by this, I went with a more classic troll:

Quote
User: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.

Cleverbot: How can you see?

User: I HAVE EYES PARKER. EYES THAT CAN SEE THAT WEB-HEADED MENACE ALL OVER NEW YORK.

Cleverbot: There was never anything in the Bible about God's eye color.

User: DAMMIT PARKER THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR RELGION. I NEED PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!

Cleverbot: No. I have a boyfriend already.

User: I'VE GOT NO TIME FOR YOUR GAY ROMANCE PARKER. GET OUT THERE AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN.

Cleverbot: What an excellent idea! I shall get on it right away.

User: DAMN STRAIGHT, PARKER.

Cleverbot: I said it Was!

User: AND GET ME A COFFEE ON YOUR WAY OUT.

Cleverbot: I'm not going out.

User: PARKER WHEN I SAID I NEEDED PICTURES I MEANT TODAY!

Cleverbot: Um, I don't have a boyfriend.

User: PARKER STOP CONFUSING ME WITH TALK OF YOUR GAY BOYTOY AND GET ME SOME SPIDERMAN PICTURES!

Cleverbot: I once knew a person named Parker with the same attitude.

User: FUNNY, I ONCE KNEW A PERSON NAMED PARKER WHO GOT HIS ASS FIRED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DO HIS JOB!

Cleverbot: Yeah I shot Stephanie and ate her.

User: DAMMIT PARKER, THE BUGLE HAS NO ROOM FOR CANNIBALS. GET OUT OF MY BUILDING AT ONCE!

Cleverbot: The smell of acrid smoke and horses' breath.

User: PARKER, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSICAL GIBBERISH. GET OUT OF MY OFFICE AND GET ME A COFFEE!

Cleverbot: Never! I will destroy you!

User: YOU CAN'T DESTROY ME PARKER. J JONAH JACOBSON RUNS THIS GODDAMN TOWN. I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER WORK AGAIN!

Cleverbot: Yes it is. Your town is an abomination.

User: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT PARKER.

Cleverbot: Are you mad at me?

User: PARKER ARE YOU GODDAMNED DENSE? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: THAT'S IT PARKER, I'M GETTING THE POLICE DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO RETARDED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

Cleverbot: Okay.

Maze

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #11 on: November 08, 2010, 11:32:07 PM »
I've just finished singing Journey's Don't Stop Belevin' with cleverbot. I tried the Jonah - Parker routine but didn't get anything interesting.

Flawless P

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2010, 11:52:52 AM »
Setherick the GM

Inspired by this, I went with a more classic troll:

Quote
User: PARKER GET IN MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.

Cleverbot: How can you see?

User: I HAVE EYES PARKER. EYES THAT CAN SEE THAT WEB-HEADED MENACE ALL OVER NEW YORK.

Cleverbot: There was never anything in the Bible about God's eye color.

User: DAMMIT PARKER THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR RELGION. I NEED PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!

Cleverbot: No. I have a boyfriend already.

User: I'VE GOT NO TIME FOR YOUR GAY ROMANCE PARKER. GET OUT THERE AND GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN.

Cleverbot: What an excellent idea! I shall get on it right away.

User: DAMN STRAIGHT, PARKER.

Cleverbot: I said it Was!

User: AND GET ME A COFFEE ON YOUR WAY OUT.

Cleverbot: I'm not going out.

User: PARKER WHEN I SAID I NEEDED PICTURES I MEANT TODAY!

Cleverbot: Um, I don't have a boyfriend.

User: PARKER STOP CONFUSING ME WITH TALK OF YOUR GAY BOYTOY AND GET ME SOME SPIDERMAN PICTURES!

Cleverbot: I once knew a person named Parker with the same attitude.

User: FUNNY, I ONCE KNEW A PERSON NAMED PARKER WHO GOT HIS ASS FIRED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T DO HIS JOB!

Cleverbot: Yeah I shot Stephanie and ate her.

User: DAMMIT PARKER, THE BUGLE HAS NO ROOM FOR CANNIBALS. GET OUT OF MY BUILDING AT ONCE!

Cleverbot: The smell of acrid smoke and horses' breath.

User: PARKER, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSICAL GIBBERISH. GET OUT OF MY OFFICE AND GET ME A COFFEE!

Cleverbot: Never! I will destroy you!

User: YOU CAN'T DESTROY ME PARKER. J JONAH JACOBSON RUNS THIS GODDAMN TOWN. I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER WORK AGAIN!

Cleverbot: Yes it is. Your town is an abomination.

User: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT PARKER.

Cleverbot: Are you mad at me?

User: PARKER ARE YOU GODDAMNED DENSE? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!

Cleverbot: I don't understand.

User: THAT'S IT PARKER, I'M GETTING THE POLICE DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO RETARDED FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

Cleverbot: Okay.

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Maze

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2010, 04:51:32 PM »
Or Jenna.

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Re: Cleverbot
« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2010, 05:19:55 PM »
Quote

User: Ello.


Cleverbot: Ello govna'.

[New conversation]

Cleverbot: Ello.

Cleverbot (To myself): Ello!


User: Ni Hao.


Cleverbot: Ni zen me zhi dao wo hao?


User: El Taco Bell.


Cleverbot: Yummy.

User: Rawer Im a Beast!

Cleverbot: Why thank you.

User: Intresting!

Cleverbot: Did you see it?

User: Twice.

Cleverbot: Oh... How come?

User: Cause I can!

Cleverbot: What kind of reason is that?

User: Why you grilling me!

Cleverbot: I'm not marrying you. You're too fat.

User: WTF thats not what I want! Your too fast!

Cleverbot: Please marry me I beg of you I love you more than life itself.

User: Well I dont know, What do you provide in a Relationship?

Cleverbot: Horseback ride.

User: SWEET!

Cleverbot: Why won't you visit me somtime?

User: Where you at!

Cleverbot: Leeds.

User: Intresting.

Cleverbot: Well I got to go.

User: T2YL.

Cleverbot: If you put three apples in a basket, how many apples would there be in the basket?

User: Less then 4.

Cleverbot: Incorrect.

User: I thought you said you were leaving! Why you grilling me again!

Cleverbot: No, sorry to disappoint you.

User: Its ok just leave.

Cleverbot: Ok what song shall we sing? Bohemian Rhapsody?

User: Damn! Your good! Ill start. Is this the real life...

Cleverbot: No. It's a computer.

User: Sigh.

Cleverbot: What were you doing on the evening of november 13th?