Day 5: Pages 69-92
Oh. Dear. Lord. What have I gotten myself into? I had found Mr. McCracken's writings to be interesting, or at the very least amusing before. Now it has become a real chore to read. Perhaps future days will bring back the ease of reading I previously experienced. Today I read about skills. All one-hundred and ninety-two of them (192!).
I... I just don't know what to say. I must admit I can appreciate the effort that went into considering what might be important and covering all of the bases, but there is also a line that, once passed, becomes excessive. Although I would like to put greater faith in the work, I have begun to feel a sense of mocking and general lack of seriousness from Mr. McCracken (as he lists one of the "Bonuses" of Astral Projection as, and I quote "saves on air fare"). Is the inclusion of Basket Weaving a subtle dig and reference to the old phrase "underwater basket weaving?" When I thought I was beginning to get answers, only more questions have arisen.
While it is not most vexing, certainly another point with which I have struggled is the seeming excess of specialization skills. Numerous skills are subdivided, and somewhat understandably. There are several types of engineering and medical fields, and I can accept this, but there are also several skill/anti-skill pairs (such as criminology and anti-criminology). Can it not suffice to simply say that knowledge of one would allow knowledge of the other? A minor point for certain in light of the other confusions, but something indeed...
Perhaps more puzzling were some of the "odd" prerequisites for some of the skills. I was most impressed that Mr. McCracken spent the time to give thorough thought to what would be needed to possess certain skills, but I find myself questioning his logic from time to time. For example, why would astro-physics require naval navigation, "Engineering, Chemistry, Medicine, and Biochemistry," astral projection, or acting require sewing? Regardless, I will place my trust in Mr. McCracken for a while longer and hope this will be made clear.
As I draw near the conclusion of my studies for the evening, I feel it necessary to record some of the more interesting skills for posterity sake:
Comedian
Combat, Grappling: From here on out, jokes will no longer be made about the complexity of grapples in 3.X Dungeons and Dragons
Contortionist: To quote Mr. McCracken "A 6-foot person can squeeze into a 1-foot-square cube (I know, I've seen it)."
Cryogenic Technician
Drafting: Drawing plans for houses and other buildings
Glass Blowing
Holography: Making 3D pictures or movies
Landscaping
Massaging
Medical, Dentistry: Mr. McCracken mentions "This skill is too painful to go into much detail," an "All work is done without the use of spells." I cannot help but wonder to myself about the unfortunate experiences he has had at the hand of the evil dentists...
Mime
Piloting, Skateboards: Full disclosure: Also includes roller and ice skates
Undertaking: The longest entry as it describes that all undertakers, as part of their training, learn how to create zombies and mummies.
I must admit I neglected to reflect on the actual aquisition and use of skills as, well, quite frankly it was complex and boring. Skills need to be bought with both skill points and currency and what can and cannot be done is confusing indeed. I fear further study will be needed to fully understand the intricacies.
And with this, I steel myself for the days to come.
Meta-Note: I decided to basically just divide the reading up into roughly 30 days, so I may in fact not finish in 30 calendar days, but I do hope to stay on top of things. I also tried to do a longer post that highlighted most of the absurdities as a small make-up for missing the last three days...
