The worst and most hilarious thing I've ever done to a fellow PC...

[Phelanar]

...was tonight in my Shadowrun game. It is a tale that must be told. Then you too can share tales of fantastic things done by players to players.

One of our players is out of town, gone to Vegas with a girl he knows. But before I get to this week, I must discuss last week. Last week, our dear sweet out of town player was a bit of an idiot.. He basically posted his mug shot/wanted poster to Shadowland and bragged about it. He took video of him burning down a club and everybody inside it and sold it as a snuff film. Unfortunately, he also got me and another player kind of in the video too, though not much. Then he kind of bailed on me in a firefight where I almost died. So this week, we hear that the Yakuza was interested in talking to us. And by talking to us, I mean killing us slowly. In part, they found us because of this certain player. So we went to get revenge.

Not kill him or trash his stuff. Oh no. That's too simple. We were going to vandalize the fuck out of his giant gold pimped out Hummer.

We got about 3 pounds of shrimp and dumped them in the car. Including in the air vents. Also inside his secret compartment that he hides his super boomie gun.  We put vaseline on the door handles. We spread cocktail sauce all over to go with the shrimp. I cast a fashion spell to do such things as make his steering wheel powder blue with a smiley cloud in the center, a camo seat cover with colors of pink, green, blue, and flourescent yellow, and another seat cover in rainbows and pink hearts. We turned on all his lights and switches. We messed with his speakers so the only one that works is the one in the far back left and we put on the worst music we know.  And we spray painted "Flamer" on his gold hummer in brown paint.  We paid for another magician to cast a Stench spell in the car and ~make it permanent~. He'll have a hard time even getting in the car, let alone driving it. Oh and part of the reason he's going to have a hard time driving it anyway? We found a dead hobo and put it in the drivers seat.

The dead hobo conversation was amusing anyway. "What do I roll to find a dead hobo? Do we find one? Do I need to make one?"

[Tadanori Oyama]

Make me a Craft Dead Hobo Check.

That's some sweet revenge there. Why do all the Shadowrun stories I hear involve the PCs turning on each other?

[clockworkjoe]

Make me a Craft Dead Hobo Check.

That's some sweet revenge there. Why do all the Shadowrun stories I hear involve the PCs turning on each other?

Shadowrun is really just a reskin of Paranoia.

Craft Dead Hobo
Ingredients: A wrench
One live hobo
Skill used: Bluff (hey look over there!)

[Phelanar]

Hey Ross, if you're short on anecdotes for the next episode, can you use that one? It'd be awesome. I don't think I've submitted any anecdotes to RPPR yet.

My personal recipe for Craft: Dead Hobo was going to involve casting Powerbolt. Either way, we've had this amusingly antagonistic relationship between all the PCs thus far. Our dear out of town player (PCname, Revan) once extorted another player (PC name: Chip) in a combat situation. Revan basically got paid 50,000 to fire a flash-bang grenade to distract a spirit so Chip could survive. There was an attempted kidnap of yet a third player by the Revan, which lead to a funny car chase where Revan tried to catch Chip, who was rescuing this third player while I made side bets with the hacker about who was going to win. So this guy has totally had it coming. Next week, we get to see if our Con checks are good enough to fool him into thinking we didn't do it.

[arthwollipot]

Heh. Worst thing I've ever done to another player is get him burned to ash.

The situation: Rolemaster. My character was a Warrior Mage named Morgan (soon to gain the epithet Morgan Blackhand), my friend Victor was a Warrior Monk named Snapping Rotus. Yes, really. We were exploring ruins, because that's what you do.

We knew that there was a dragon in the vicinity. I (Morgan) convinced Rotus that the dragon couldn't possibly be in the area. Rotus would stand in front of the huge double door while I threw it open, so that he could attack whatever was behind it.

Oh man, I can't even recall this without breaking into hysterical laughter. You can guess what happened.

Shame really. Snapping Rotus was just beginning to gain some real depth as a character. We never even bothered trying to recover the ash.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I don't think I've ever pulled anything really good against PCs when I was a PC myself.

Usually I play either the very direct character (with a Scottish accent) or the slimey used car salesman character (with a hissy, vaguely english accent).

Closest I've come is a character in a 3.5 Eberron game I'm in. I'm a spy and I keep sending the other PCs to basically do my dirty work for me without them knowing it. I managed to get our party healer involved in a massive assassination web and stuck with a scroll that kills anyone who picks it up. He got better but...

[Setherick]

I don't think I've ever pulled anything really good against PCs when I was a PC myself.

Usually I play either the very direct character (with a Scottish accent) or the slimey used car salesman character (with a hissy, vaguely english accent).

Closest I've come is a character in a 3.5 Eberron game I'm in. I'm a spy and I keep sending the other PCs to basically do my dirty work for me without them knowing it. I managed to get our party healer involved in a massive assassination web and stuck with a scroll that kills anyone who picks it up. He got better but...

I apparently don't have it anymore, but I wrote Ross a very explicit plan on how one of my characters was going to torture the retard-killer from the Masks game.

[Tadanori Oyama]

Did he have the end game worked out?

[Maze]

Here's one for the annals of worst things done to a fellow PC:

Basically, me and this other PC were transporting an important shipment through the desert on a frontier planet when we collided with a huge-ass alien cow with eyes so far back on his head that it didn't even spot us in a fucking desert before running into our transport.

Anyway, our truck tipped on its side, releasing a slave from the cargo hold. That slave was another player character, some insane guy that liked to sneak and stab shit. While me and the other player, I'll refer to as the "hunter" (I was the "pilot") were looking at the damage, the slave was killing the dazed guards that were in the cargo hold. We got attacked by weird aliens and after the fight, we were stuck transporting a huge water filter by hand.

When a caravan came by, he suspiciously proposed to go out of his way and bring us to destination and asked what we would pay in exchange. I offered 25% of our pay upon completion of the task, but it wasn't enough for him and asked for more. All the while, the slave was sneaking around in a fucking desert and failing miserably at it. That's when the hunter proposed:

Hunter: "What about a slave?"

Both of us: "WHAT!?"

Hunter: "He's well built and could be sold at good price on the market."

Slave: "You're not going to sell me!"

Hunter: "Shut up, slave" and shoots him in the leg.

He threw his knife and I had to shoot him with my shotgun point-blank in the arm when he reached for his gun. Somehow, his arm was merely injured and the sale went according to plan. That was the end of his character, the delivery was completed, we got paid and everyone was happy.

As a side note, the planet was a former prison planet and the GM felt natural that ALL his NPCs should be total assholes. God, it must be the first and only game I've heard a guy tell me upon completing a quest: "Thank you for the water filter, you've saved our town. Now... what reason do I have to pay you again?"

[codered]

first time I ever played a roleplaying game was a d&d and I was a mage, wall of fire and a bunch bad guys iI ended up killing the whole party with a bad spell. I hate playing mages still to this day.

[arthwollipot]

I've got a friend who, in a tournament no less, not only unleashed a Lightning Bolt against a Shambling Mound, but also let off a Fireball in a 10x10 room.

He's never lived that down, even after 20 years.

[Tom Church]

I was running a game for some of my comrades, including Aaron.  For anyone who is a regular listener, you'll know that Aaron is a Colossal do-gooder.  I don't think he's actually capable of playing an evil character.  He always wants to do the right thing, and avoids pointless violence like it was herpes.  He truly wants to subdue the villain, no matter how evil or ruthless, and turn them over to the authorities.

Which makes what happened even more delicious.

It was a dimensional-hopping game, in which the players were on a pirate ship being attacked by a battleship-sized ironclad vessel, complete with primitive torpedo launchers.  Aaron sees that they are about to launch one of the torpedoes via a catapult.  He is playing a guy in an Iron Man powersuit, so he fires a pulse blast at the torpedo, hoping to prevent the launch.  What he didn't know was that right below the catapult were twenty other torpedoes ready to be launched.  I make a single fate roll, and the following takes place.  The torpedo detonates, setting off all the others.  The other ship is torn in half by the massive explosion, killing most of the three hundred men on board instantly.  Aaron, the consumate nice guy, literally watches in muted horror as hundreds of bodies are thrown into the air, most of them flying apart from the explosion.  Aaron's RL expression is complete shock.

And then, all of the pirates on the ship they were protecting rush over and start congratulating him, slapping him on the back and singing his praises for destroying the enemy ship.  Aaron doesn't say a word, realizing he just killed hundreds with a single shot.  And finally, as his character stands in silent agony over the deed he just committed, surrounded by a crew of non-human pirates cheering his name, I decided it would be a good exclamtion point to the whole event to have a single severed hand fall from the sky and bounce off the front of his suit's face plate.

An asshole thing to do?  Maybe.  But the rest of the group loved it.  And Aaron resisted going into a combat situation in-game for the next few sessions.  It seems to fly in the face of gamer logic, but the hell with it.  I loved it.

[Tadanori Oyama]

That is simply amazing.

[clockworkjoe]

hahaha I award you one fist of the north star video

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[Dawnsteel]

I decided it would be a good exclamtion point to the whole event to have a single severed hand fall from the sky and bounce off the front of his suit's face plate.

You guys are always saying we should reward player behavior that we prefer.  Is it as simple as the most classic method of showing human approval...giving them a hand?

[rimshot]