Author Topic: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL  (Read 376478 times)

Setherick

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #180 on: September 25, 2009, 07:57:57 AM »
Richelieu (65/1550)

Richelieu listens to the orcs for a few minutes before boldly stepping forward,

"Oh orcish brothers, I knew one of your comrades. A fine orc. A strong orc. Alas, he has passed along. But, why, why do you sit here and praise atheism, when atheism has left you penniless. Why not join me in following Haggart so that we may enrich God by enriching ourselves. Yes, brothers, you have heard me correctly. Haggart wants you to be rich because through you Haggart will himself become rich. Haggart will guide your arm as it pierces the side of your enemy. Haggart will lead you to so much treasure that your pockets will overfill. And, again, Haggarts wants this for you. Your orcish brother saw this to be true. So brothers will you follow me?"

Proselytize
Rolling 1d20:
(1): Total = 1
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Setherick

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #181 on: September 25, 2009, 07:59:10 AM »
According to old school rules, a 1 is the best possible roll on a skill check, but Ross will be a dick and say that's a critical failure because he's not hardcore enough to play by the rules that he himself set up in the title. So preemptively, fuck you Ross.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Tadanori Oyama

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #182 on: September 25, 2009, 10:19:33 AM »
Feeling like a proper adventurer, Shakespeare takes a seat at the bar and searches his change purse for treasure.

Rolling 1d20:
(1): Total = 1

Tadanori Oyama

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #183 on: September 25, 2009, 10:19:54 AM »
FUCK!

Setherick

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #184 on: September 25, 2009, 01:18:48 PM »
FUCK!

What character class are you? You should start out with X-amount of coinage depending on your class.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Maze

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #185 on: September 25, 2009, 01:29:18 PM »
Pakos
Prays to Pet Sematary that he'll find the end of the corridor eventually.
« Last Edit: September 25, 2009, 02:06:03 PM by Maze »

clockworkjoe

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #186 on: September 25, 2009, 02:39:45 PM »
Shakespeare is broke. Perhaps someone picked his pocket.

The orcs laugh at Richelieu. The lead orc, named orc says "orc think that religion is opiate of masses. Orc not taken in by such words. If you want pass then you pay orc or beat Sidney in orc fight club."

Sidney, the biggest orc, flexes his orcish muscles. "I'm going to beat you till you love me."


Setherick

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #187 on: September 25, 2009, 03:45:47 PM »
Richelieu (65/1550)

Richelieu considers the situation for a moment and then walks over to Winthrop the barrel and whispers softly enough that the orcs can't hear him, "Stay quiet."

Richelieu turns to the orcs and says, "I accept. But, since I have been challenged and as per the terms of any test of combat the challenger may determine the weapons or the type of combat, I choose the classic cask colliding contest of the InBev tribe of Dwarves. You see, the rules are quite simple. In fact, it is similar to office chair hockey, but whom am I kidding, you've never played hockey or sat in an office chair. Sidney must procure a barrel, such as my barrel here, and we will face off several feet apart. Then we will roll our barrels towards one another as fast as we can and collide into one another. The person that lives, well, he's the winner."

Richelieu is betting that the magical barrel is of harder substance than a normal wooden barrel because of its magical properties.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

clockworkjoe

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #188 on: September 25, 2009, 04:26:51 PM »
Pakos follows the corridor another 80 feet before coming to a side tunnel heading east. He can continue north or try the side passage to the east.

~~~

Redcap's attempt at diplomacy succeeds! The rat squeaks in agreement then presents the dwarf with a piece of green cheese. Green with magic. He motions for the dwarf to eat the cheese.

clockworkjoe

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #189 on: September 25, 2009, 05:01:18 PM »
The orcs huddle and discuss their options. Finally orc speaks "Orc, leader of orcs say that we agree to plan, with one change. Orc say you must get second barrel because while orc respectful of dwarf tradition orc notice that there are eleven orcs in room and only one human. So human play by orc rules. Human must get second barrel."

Sidney the orc looks a little disappointed.

Setherick

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #190 on: September 25, 2009, 05:18:07 PM »
Richelieu (65/1550)

Richelieu stoops down and whispers to Winthrop the barrel, "Where can I find another magic barrel? Answer softly though."
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

clockworkjoe

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #191 on: September 25, 2009, 05:28:14 PM »
Winthrop whispers back "down the stairs and a few rooms over. You can get a normal barrel in the village from the blacksmith."

Orc says "Orc wonder why human lean over to barrel. Orc thinks that is rude."

Setherick

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #192 on: September 25, 2009, 05:39:19 PM »
Richelieu (65/1550)

"Ah, Orc, you must forgive me. I was checking the condition of my barrel to see how it was constructed so that I can get another one just like it. Well, Sidney shall we be off to find a barrel for the competition? I have no coin, so I guess we should hunt a barrel out in the dungeon."

In case it's needed, skill check: Bluff Like Hell
Rolling 1d20:
(18): Total = 18
« Last Edit: September 25, 2009, 05:43:13 PM by Setherick »
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

clockworkjoe

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #193 on: September 25, 2009, 05:47:41 PM »
orc says "sidney not go with human. Human will try to convert Sidney and Sidney is dumb."

Sidney looks even sadder.

Orc says "Orc is sorry. Words come wrong out of orc's mouth. What orc meant to say is that human will trick Sidney and Sidney needed to protect broken table and stairs. Is important in this completely believable underworld realm of fantasy and adventure that orcs guard dungeon room. Some orcs say is useless task but orc think that world is fundamentally absurd and only way to define meaning in world is to struggle against absurdity. One might say that orc guarding useless crap in room is...happy."

The orcs nod in sage agreement.

Setherick

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Re: OLD SCHOOL DUNGEON CRAWL
« Reply #194 on: September 25, 2009, 05:50:15 PM »
Richelieu (65/1550)

"Well, then, you're in luck. Let me present you with some more treasure, eh useless crap, to guard." Richelieu pulls the abandoned copper tube from his pack. "Feast your eyes upon this!"
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read