/rant on
Skills:
One of the biggest complaints I see against 4e (in terms of mechanics) is the way skills are simplified. But here's the thing: the 3e skill system was just as bad, AND more complicated. 2, 4, 6, or 8 +int mod skill points per level, 2 points needed for a "cross-class" skill, and no way to effectively role-play skills if they weren't purchased. Your fighter with 4 (if that) total skill points per level (16 at level 1)has to play a resource management game just to build a character he wants to play.
Craft (Weaponsmithing and Armorsmithing) or, if your GM is understanding, Profession (Blacksmith) just to do regular maintenance on your gear.
Some combination of Jump, Climb, Balance, and Tumble unless you just want to stand in the same spot all combat long and hope that your terrain out of combat has no distracting conditions.
Oh, your fighter was some type of noble? Well, Diplomacy, Gather Info, and Knowledge (Nobility) are on your "to know" list also
Street thug? Intimidate, Bluff, maybe some forgery.
Noble turned street thug? Oh GOD DAMMIT.
And we're not even considering the dungeon-crawling basics: Search, Spot, Listen, Survival
And if you think upping yourself to a higher-skill point class will help: You'll either get twice as many skills that you "Need," or you have more skills that are cross-class (lookin' at you Monk).
d20, 3.X or 4, is not a game that is about the skill system, especially if it is not for combat-related things. You want to be the best blacksmith? Str check for the effort required (Or Athletics), Con check for if you can work for hours/days on end (Or Endurance), Wisdom/Dex to check if the item if it is properly balanced if necessary (Perception?), and hell, throw in an Int check to see if you made the item to traditional expectations (History?). Ta Da. Now you can measure how well you made a particular item in comparison to another blacksmith with a simple skill challenge. Yeah, he may have finished first, but you managed to pattern the filigree to the King's liking, so you are named the winner. Requirement to participate in this challenge? You and your DM discussed how you were a blacksmith before you got recruited/drafted to become a Fighty McFighterson, Rougy McStabberguy, Ranger McShootstoomuch, Heals McLeaderhosen, or Nukes O'Arcana.
Or another example from the NW campaign: Kuthin wants to start circulating anti-crown propaganda, IIRC, Ross had me roll some combination of Bluff, Diplomacy, and Thievery (Since that's where Forgery hides these days). If the system isn't giving you obvious tools, find out where they are hiding, and be consistent with them.
Resource Management:
I don't get how the "resource management" of 4e is that straining. You have 2 basic attacks (at wills), 4 encounters (probably similar to your at wills, but better), 4 Dailies, and 6 Utilities (not all of which will be useful in combat). At most 16 "spells," approx the same amount of choices for a caster capable of 3rd or 4th level spells, and you don't have to ensure you have the correct ones ready for each day.
I guess you also have to keep track of magic items, but wait, you just grab a generic + level/5 item for Weapon, body, and neck slot and you're on par with the attack/def curve. The longest part of making a 3.X character post level 1 is buying magic items, another resource management, which requires more effort and finesse from non-casters just to be effective.
Along those lines: Money. You do not believe how HAPPY I was as a GM when I read that you can't sell mundane items, and magic items always sell for 1/5th of the market cost. Balancing the books in accordance with WBL is now causally manageable. Heroes want to do silly appraise/barter scams? Shave the gains out of a treasure parcel. Another party of equal level would have been using the time Killing more monsters and completing more quests in the same amount of time during that level.
Class Roles/Balance:
Well-min/maxed wizards, clerics, druids, and artificers are overpowered in comparison to other classes. A Cleric becomes a fighter with spells once they have access to Divine Power (and before that they can get close). Druids get an animal companion and wild shape (Hello 3 dumpable stats!). Just google up the Wizard's Guide to being Batman, I dare you. And the Artificer gets access to all Save or Suck and Save or Die spells via scrolls, and becomes a walking artillery when he metamagics a wand and is able to take 10 on UMD, (not to mention he also gets to use most of TWGtBB). Rangers, Fighters, Rogues, and even Monks with the same amount (or more) of effort maximizing do not even approach that level of utility at any level, much less mid to higher levels.
Yeah, it's nice when a classes' sheer power allows a mediocre tactician to be acceptable, but that's not necessarily a good design philosophy. Even if you do talk to your Wizard or CoDzilla about how to not be a dick, you still have to consider what they can do when you design encounters. If you make a challenging encounter for your weaker characters, what are you going to do when the wizard finally makes the decision to trivialize the encounter to avoid a TPK? You have just reinforced to the party that your Wizard can do it all without you when he has to, you are just here to take care of the gruntwork.
I would not expect Kuthin or Locke to solo any equal-level, full-party encounter like a 3rd ed wizard. Now don't get me wrong, we would get close, but then Ross would let it run away with 1hp, but that's not the point
. But when you hear any AP fan discuss what they like about either character (Moreso Locke/Cody, but whatever), it has less to do how much damage was done and more with how they interact with other players and NPCs, and we don't have the option of just firing off Charm Person to avoid a potentially challenging social situation. In combat, we need the other players to support us in order to shine, just like we need each other out of combat to keep the colony, natives, or Pontifex from outright killing us in our sleep, but the two of us walk around like the baddest motherfuckas in the known universe at every available opportunity.
Even if you remove the reality aspect of "Life is not always fair," You can't escape the reality of "There's always someone bigger and badder than you, and yes, he will kick the shit out of you for your stale crackers just because he can." Unless, you are a well-prepared 3rd ed wizard, then you can have everyone's stale crackers, ever.
I would add more, but this is plenty for now and I have work in the morning
/rant off