The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[Dawnsteel]

I wish i could learn how to quote properly

Granted, but now you can only post quotations, and never your own words.

I wish I could attend GenCon.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I could attend GenCon.

Granted, your girlfriend bought the tickets and follows you pouting the entire time. You do have a girlfriend, right?

I wish my brother would learn to RP an investigative game properly.

[Dawnsteel]

You do have a girlfriend, right?

No girlfriend.  Wife, though.  The rest would be pretty much accurate.

I wish my brother would learn to RP an investigative game properly.

Granted.  He takes copious notes and grills everyone, players and NPCs, like a grizzled fifteen-year detective.  You are overwhelmed by his required level of detail, and start planning meat-grinder scenarios.  (He still attempts to question the ghoul hordes.)

I wish I was a competent GM.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I was a competent GM.

Granted, you become a competent Gm and now realize none of your players are competent players. Your inability to come back down to their level results in striff and eventual estrangement.

I wish I had a dog.

[Setherick]

I wish I had a dog.

Granted, you now own a dog that one of my friends and I dreamed up. The Rotzu. Part Shizu, part Rotweiller. The head is 8 times the size of the body, it still tries to bite your ankles, and makes a high pitch yap.

I wish I had a cheetah.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I had a cheetah.

Granted, but it runs away. The irony is lost on the park services officers who knock on your door the next day.

I wish I had cable.

[clockworkjoe]

Granted. Your dog is Cujo.

I wish I could kill the demons

[Dawnsteel]

I wish I had cable.

Granted.  There is a one-thousand-foot spool of industrial electric cable occupying most of your living room.

I wish I could kill the demons

Granted.  It turns out that demon blood is highly acidic, and has eaten away parts of your walls and most of the floor.

I wish my seven-year-old would play Mouse Guard with me.

[Boyos]

Granted, but due to experimentation earlyer in the week your son has lost all your dice down an air vent.

I wish It was X-mas already!

[beowuuf]

Wish granted! New marketing makes every national holiday and weekend Christmas. Happy X-mas 23! You will now be working extra hours to pay for the backlog of presents you owe your family and friends.

I wish I could hear the New World episodes 23 - 30 (odd) that have been played but not posted.

[Sean-o-tron]

Granted.  Ross and the players did nothing but listen to Rick Astley for 7 episodes.

I wish my brother didn't have to go back to Iraq.

[Sean-o-tron]

Granted. Your dog is Cujo.

I wish I could kill the demons

No Ross, you ARE the demons.

And then Ross was a zombie.

[clockworkjoe]

Granted. Your dog is Cujo.

I wish I could kill the demons

No Ross, you ARE the demons.

And then Ross was a zombie.

THANK YOU

wait

oh and your wish is granted. Your brother is now going to Afghanistan.

[Sean-o-tron]

WHAT'S YOUR NEXT WISH ROSS

PLAY THE GAME RIGHT

JESUS

[clockworkjoe]

I wish I had a FTL spaceship