Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: greetings!
Stranger: how's it going?
You: not bad
You: sick of being asked for sex
You: you?
Stranger: hah, I never get tired of that, but I'm doing swell
Stranger: just got home
You: where were you?
Stranger: work
You: where do you work?
Stranger: NASA
You: that's sweet~
Stranger: yeah, it's fun
You: what do you do there?
Stranger: I'm a spacecraft engineer
Stranger: The NASA center I work at, JPL, does all the major unmanned NASA stuff
Stranger: like the rovers
Stranger: so I do that
You: that's really amazing
You: where is JPL?
Stranger: Near LA
Stranger: I live in LA
You: wow. that is really amazing
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 23
You: no way! and you work at NASA?
Stranger: yup
You: and here I thought they only hired people who were old enough for an engineering degree
Stranger: I have several engineering degrees
You: oh several huh?
Stranger: Well
Stranger: Two degrees
Stranger: one's actually in physics
Stranger: the masters is in Aero/Astro Engineering
You: you must be super smart!
Stranger: nah, just got a good smile
You: you must be, like, Doogie Howser smart
Stranger: How, no where near Doogie Howser smart. If so, I'd be picking up sexy nurses.
You: well, where do you think I work?
Stranger: No idea
Stranger: where do you work?
You: IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL!!!!
You: OMG!!!! AND YOU HAVE TOTALLY PICKED ME UP!!!!
You: what do you look like?
Stranger: hah, Italianish, brown hair and eyes
You: mmm . . . i like eyes
You: how tall?
Stranger: 5'8
You: how . . .um . . . how do I put this delicately?
You: how . . . BIG . . . are you?
Stranger: Do you just want a pic? jeese
You: sure!
You: send away!
Stranger:
http://photos-h-9.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v204/106/123/207119/n207119_33334919_6027.jpgYou: what I meant was . . . how big is your . . . ?
You: very hot pic btw
Stranger: oh, haha, I'm not sending you a pic of that, but while I'm not the type of dude to take a ruler to it, probably 9 in hard.
You: oooohhhh shiiiiitttt!
You: goddamn, I have to have a piece of you!
Stranger: haha
Stranger: I'm available
You: mmmm . . . well, let's go ahead and get this on then
Stranger: Well, where are you located?
You: let's practice on here first
You:
You: what would you do to me?
Stranger: Hah, maybe in second here.
Stranger: I still have a couple questions for you
Stranger: First
Stranger: Let's not be rude
Stranger: I am Anthony. What is your name?
You: My name is Terry
Stranger: And Terry, how old are you?
You: what does that matter?
Stranger: Terry, don't be coy
Stranger: If you were 12 or 45 it would matter a lot
You: I'm actually 42
Stranger: Hah, okay, not a deal braker for this, but don't be so evasive
Stranger: Do you have a pic, Terry?
You: yeah
You: let me pull it up
You:
http://panachereport.com/channels/sensual%20intelligence/sorsql-1.jpegYou: so? what do you think?
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: So, you're gay?
You: yeah. aren't you?
Stranger: Haha, no
You: so what?
You: you're fucking judging me?
Stranger: No, bud, I'm just not gay
You: wait . . . you . . . thought I was a woman?
Stranger: Yeah
You: Oh that is fucking rich! Really fucking Donald Twump (Elmer Fudd) rich!
You: just because I am a nurse, I must be a fucking woman huh?
Stranger: And attracted to dudes. Together, they painted a bit of a story
Stranger: It's cool dude, my best friend is gay.
You: I'm not your fucking best friend! We just met!
You: I gave you my heart and you shot me down!
Stranger: Haha
You: How can we be fucking friends!?
Stranger: I guess you're right. Things probably won't work out between us.
You: Oh, so that's it then huh?
You: You fucking homo-hater!
You: HOMOPHOBE!
You: BIGOT!
Stranger: I don't hate gays. Just fags. And, Terry, you're being a fag.
You: No, I'm just sick off guys like you
You: I don't want a "guy"
You: I want a "man" who will take care of me instead of jerking me around
Stranger: You're totally right. That's what you deserve Terry.
You: Goddammit Anthony.
You: You fucking know we're right for each other
Stranger: Maybe in another world. A world where I like having sex with men in the butt. Terry, worry not, you'll find your dude.
You: I mean, if a 23 year old engineer from NASA can't make it with a 42 year old gay nurse, then what hope is there in the world? I mean, what fucking hope?
You: Face facts Tony, you're 23! You miraculously have been gifted with two degrees in engineering (WHICH IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!) and you can't face your feelings right now?
Stranger: Haha
You: I mean, you said the age range was 12 to 45, well, Tony, this is the internet and I can change!
You: If you want me to, I will become a 14 year old girl if that is what it takes to fucking keep you here with me!
Stranger: Terry, why don't you go to a gay bar or something
Stranger: Be social
Stranger: Stop being creepy on the internet, and hang with some people
You: why would I go to a gay bar? Those places are icky! I like to go bowling like all 14 year old girls
You: wanna finger me for my first time?
Stranger: Terry, stop being a retard. The ages I gave were hyperbole.
Stranger: You're one more creepy thing away from a disconnection
You: BUSTED!
You: MY NAME IS CHRIS HANSON AND I'M FROM DATELINE AND YOU'VE BEEN CAUGHT TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH A 14 YEAR OLD!
Stranger: OH NOES!
You: what do you have to say for yourself you sick, perverted (AND CLEARLY LYING ABOUT NASA) asshole?
Stranger: Haha, you're a retard.
You: ALL HAIL THE REIGN OF THE CATHARTIC LOBSTER!
You: ALL HAIL THE GLORY AND MAJESTY OF HIS MAJESTIC MOUNTAINS!
You: ALL HAIL THE GREAT ONE WHOSE FACE IS MADE OF ENTRAILS!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
