Tommy Wiseau Monster Friend
-Incomprehensible (Stunning attack): His bizzare ramblings that jump from topic to topic with no apparent connection leave victims utterly stupified and unable to form any coherent thoughts or take any actions.
-Tearing Me Apart! (Dodge): Filled with the angst of a thousand past betrayals, Tommy can tear himself in twain to avoid taking a hit.
Dig to Victory!: A devotee of the Mystic Spoon, Tommy can summon the Mystic Spoon to dig through earth, wood, stone or cheap sets.
Toss the Football: A master of directing and tactics, Tommy can summon a swarm of tuxedo clad hack actors to pelt his enemies with footballs.....as long as they're withing 10 feet.
Oh Hi!: Always outgoing, Tommy has the ability to charm his way into the hearts of those he talks to.
I'm serious, if you guys will do this I'll give more money.