How They Died

[The_Last_76]

One of my first exposures to roleplaying, and certainly my longest held love, has been Warhammer Fantasy Role Play.

Whilst recently rooting around in my old files, I found a backlog of all the various characters that have appeared in my old group's WFRP game.

And how they died.

So, for your assorted amusement;

Dargan Blackblood, Dwarf Daemonslayer - Head crushed by Archeon's foot.
Regina De La Thorn, Human Wizard - Head 'asploded.
Heinrich Tottengrotter, Human Outlaw Chief - Was on the wrong side of a manically flailing sword.
Klaus Rudolph, Human Scout - Didn't see the bear trap.
Sophia Schon, Human Smuggler - Went down with her ship.
Mhornar, Dwarf Daemonslayer - Went north.
Karin Brecht, Human Coachman - Crashed.
Reinwald Jaeger, Human Tomb Robber - Died of dehydration in the deserts of Araby.
Drumir Grumisson, Dwarf Soldier - Copped an arrow in the eye.
Rolf, Human Freelancer - Killed in the Siege of Horgenhaven.
Klaus Jager, Human Druid - Ate poison.
Ursula Quickfingers, Halfling Pickpocket - Got caught trying to nick a watchman's coinpurse.
Torilo, Wood Elf Wizard Apprentice - Slaughtered by rampaging dryads.
Edgar Handlier, Human Assassin of Chaos - Was drawn and quartered after being cornered by the White Wolves.
Brokk Edgridsson, Dwarf Sapper - Collapsed a tunnel around himself to stem an advancing Skaven army.
Wolmar Grauer, Human Sea Captain - Was retired into a life of high sea piracy.  May pick him up again one day.
Quintus Juwelier, Human Physician - Caught the plague.
Carmilla Vontelg, Human Kislivite Shaman - Froze to death, but wiped out an Chaos army in the mean time.
Carolus-Burthelm Stotter, Human Wizard - Died in a Wizard duel against an Orc Shaman.
Britt Kufer, Human Bounty Hunter - Was lead into an ambush and was shot down at thirty paces.
Isolde Backer, Human Noble - One of the casualties of the Border Princedom wars.
Ethreda Scheltermann, Human Bawd - OD'd.
Valmir Rothbart, Human Knife Thrower - Missed.
Erich Bootmann, Human Bawd - Was shot through the throat by gangsters.
Girdrud Hauptroson, Human Scribe - Choked to death on a meat pie.
Estelle Eichen, Human Watchman - Fell into the stew, drowned in shit.
Szeck Dietmanigan, Human Bounty Hunter - Fell off a horse, cracked his head on a rock.
Hentschel Von Sehlag, Human Gambler - Bet a lil' too much, had it taken out of his flesh.
Tilke Sothelin, Human Agitator - Beaten to death by the Watch.
Tohngrat Watchet, Human Templar of Chaos - Brought low by a group of meddling adventurers and their pesky dog.
Gerhaus Endal, Human Trapper - The bear wasn't quite dead.
Ilse Stretdach, Human Militiaman - Died of exhaustion after a marathon run.
Kaminfuger Aukrugreft, Human Freelancer - Died in the Siege of Trufften.
Valerla, Wood Elf Soldier - Challenged a Brettonian Noble in hand-to-hand combat.
Ensdorf Bluebattle, Halfling Ratcatcher - Was smaller than the rat.
Madgalena Anfurger, Human Initiate - Throat torn out by a wolf.
Sigrun Noostraniece, Human Explorer - Retired after exploring the southern tip of the Kingdom of Ind.gaznphoebs
Ralf Anwalt, Human Acrobat - Caught by Ogres, eaten for lunch.
Kaspar Eberhauer, Human Prisoner - Died in Jail.
Zobeslaus Meiner, Human Spy - Set up his own little Border Princedom, retired.
Sigmara Viemau, Human Fanatic - Became an hero after being ordered to leap from a parapet to prove her loyalty.  Missed the hay pile.
Gottfried Gormann, Human Student - Caught trying to steal an ancient tome from the Silent Library.
Rhya Dieters, Human Footpad - Had her throat slit in the Fish vs Hooks gang war.
Sumon Euckener, Human Knight - Killed defending the Emperor.
Josef Lindt, Human Rat Catcher - His small, but vicious, dog ended up killing him in his sleep after being abused constantly.
Heinz Reiner, Human Fence - Was tortured to death by adventurerers on the trail of a stolen antique.
Tantchen Petra, Human Witch Hunter - Actually found a witch.
Verema Egidius, Human Torturer - Was hung by an angry mob seeking for revenge.
Albelhard Helwig, Human Slaver - Killed by raiding bandits.
Eimer Aldermann, Human Navigator - Crashed his ship onto some reefs.
Garmann der Muller, Human Judicial Champion - Turned out his boss was guilty.
Lukas Mahler, Human Lawyer - Blackmailed and betrayed, ended up being arrested and sent to the South Land penal colony.
Trubert Betz-Wegener, Human Highwayman - Tried to rob an armed caravan.
Volkel Lustig, Human Gunner - Cannon 'asplode.
Jacov Wagner, Human Duellist - Fell off a cliff.
Ottilda Shreiner, Human Tollkeeper - Died defending His Majesties Highway from Beastmen.
Olga Kohler, Human Seer - Pistol exploded in her face.
Franz-Lutke Edelmenn, Human Seaman - Killed by that fucking assassin.
Moll Barwedel-Heinzmann, Human Raconteur - Had her tongue pulled out by a footpad.  Retired after that.
Jarla-Marie Fallenblatt, Human Alchemist - Had gunpowder explode in her face.  Numenstad is no longer a town.
Osiric Bogenschutze, Human Painter - Killed by his lover.

[Flawless P]

I'm gonna post the deaths I have witnessed as well.

Markus Battlin -  Stabbed through the heart by an intelligent item wielded by his party member.  Said party member gets enlarge person cast on himself then activates a wand of invisibility and proceeds to skewer him while he's fighting off 3 Hobgolin Warriors.

Bale Boz - Took an arrow through the center of his forehead while advancing on magical darkness, he was attempting to dispel the darkness, it didn't work.

Akkar -  Jumped in a hole with a bard he'd never met the Bard crit and cut his head off. Bard > Barbarian

Moht - Half Black Dragon Fighter was in a wall of force cage match against a werebear dwarf who liked to bull rush. It took 3 turns of 4d6+30 damage to kill him so he was proud.

Zedd - Zedd was a Master of Many Forms who spent nearly all his time looking like a Beholder, complete with the Assume Supernatural Abilities feat for the Eye Rays. AC was through the roof so he never really worried about anything. That is where the parties warmage comes in, the warmage failed his fort save against a blinding poison, his responce to being blind? Greater Fire Burst MAXIMIZED. The Ninja made the save, Zedd didn't.

Hurosh - Hobgoblin with more pride than brains, he was accused of wronging one of the party members and instead of denying it(he really didn't do it) he challenged the other person to a duel to the death, too bad the other person was the afformentioned half black dragon fighter. Hurosh was twinked out with his bow and brought the half dragon down to 3 hp. Then proceeded to catch a beatdown complete with decapatation.

Thrax -  Resisdent Necromancer of the party was killed by Zedd, well maybe not killed so much as turned to stone and kept as a decorative statue.

Big Goat - Big Goat pissed off Thrax, Thrax broke down his door with his skeletons and proceeded to gangbang him to death.

Little Goat - Big Goats Cohort. killed in the fray, commanded some of Thrax's skeletons and had them coup de grace him so he couldn't be turned into a skeleton.\

Rosh - Rosh climbed out of a 200 ft. Hole only to be confronted with 2 Hook Horror's rather that going on the defensive while the rest of us climed out, he tried to take them on, never moving away from the edge of said hole. 1 Bull Rush later and he fell screaming to his gooey death.

An entire party of CoC investigators at once - Walked into a room with flashlights, the monster didn't like that and ripped them to pieces with sharp gusts of wind.

[Charlie72]

Lt. Brain Sheldrup: Shot with shotgun while fighting for control of his mind by his soon to be ghoul comrade.  Remains were blown up, as per his final request.

[crash2455]

I haven't lost too many characters.  Probably because I don't play CoC.

Jesse David (VoP Monk and 1st Character Ever) - Killed by Teancum, our party's Half-Orc barbarian, after a long fight with the vampire who dominated him.  We would look back on this later and realize that there were 5 or 6 rules we didn't know during this fight that probably would have ended it differently.  Also, this ended in a TPK after an epic chase between the Sorcerer and the Barbarian wherein I believe the DM was just trying to kill all of us off.

The sorcerer was the last one left alive because his first spell during the fight was Greater Invisibility.  He managed to kill the vampire, but the vampire simply turned to mist, so the sorcerer followed the mist to the coffin, chased the whole time by the Barbarian.  The chase scene included a falling staircase, a flesh golem who would only move when issued a password (which the Barbarian correctly guessed to be "Move out of the way, ugly"), a hallway with an antimagic field and a heavy door at the end (which the sorcerer passed by looking through the keyhole and casting Dimension Door), and the Vampire's coffin, which was protected by one of the DM's old characters who throws shortswords.

Grak-Thra (Thri-Krenn Ranger, swapped out for Cleric below) - Had to return suddenly to his clutch due to civil war or something.

Etoain (Lumi Cleric in a Savage Species game) - Misunderstood why the sorcerer was casting Moment of Prescience, and was hit by a maximized Disintegrate the next round.

[Flawless P]

I haven't lost too many characters.  Probably because I don't play CoC.

Zedd and Markus Battlin are both mine, also the only characters I have ever lost.

[crash2455]

Ah, I missed the part about how it's other characters as well.  I'm a little hazy on the names.

D&D:

Human Cleric - Disintegrated

Human Paladin - Played by the person who had the cleric above, fell into a spike trap his first session

Mindflayer Cleric - Killed for being the worst combination of things ever.  I believe the level adjustment was such that as a 12-level character, he could cast Cure Moderate Wounds maybe.

Raksasha Sorcerer - Took a knight's lance through the face

Stone Giant Barbarian - Lost a 1-on-1 fight with a Spellblade because she could do something like 5 attacks per round (4 attacks as a full-round action plus 1 spell as a swift action)

Dwarven Defender - Looked at a Medusa, rolled a 1 on his Fort Save

1 Barbarian and 3 Rogues

Human Rogue - Decided to follow a Lich through a Gate to his fortress

Human Paladin - Critical hit from a Gnome Hooked Hammer with Shocking Burst (one-shotted him)

Shadowrun

I think the guy was built as a Faceman, but really didn't play it well.  Got separated from the team while on the mission and returned to us with only good things to say about the Ares corporation.  We found out pretty quickly that he had a sonic-triggered cranial bomb that would go off if he didn't think about the Ares corporation in a positive way.  He ended up getting the bomb removed, but Ares knew about it and hunted him down.

[beej]

Mustafa Colburn: Seal team 6 member and Delta Green operative.   It was discovered the Large Hadron Collider was actually device meant to trap Yog-Sothoth and control his power.  Commander Chavez drove a truck up to the facility in a uhaul loaded with a thermoberic bomb...unfortunately he failed his skill check and wired the timer for 5 seconds and not 5 minutes.......

Vince Goldstein:  Researcher for the Jeffersonian Institute and Delta Green Friendly.  Chopped to death with a hatchet by a fellow investigator who totally boned a SAN roll.

Dr. Hubert Feinstein:  Died 1932, run down by cultists.

Miles Eddington VII  Colonel in her Majesty's Royal SAS.  Torn limb from limb protecting her Highness Queen Elizabeth II from Ghouls.

[The_Last_76]

Large Hadron Collider was actually device meant to trap Yog-Sothoth and control his power

I find this completely believable.

[doctorscraps]

Dalvus Hardtack, Dwarven Fighter (3.5): Hunted by the priestess's of Llolth (or however the hell you spell it) for the sexual violation of one of her Dryder assassins. Was totally worth it.

Cthulhu Anragi, Khil clerical worker, Old Reublic Era Saga Edition Campaign: Gunned down horribly in an attempt to forcefully take over a crimelords operations.

Lon "Lenny" Sta, Kel Dor ex-Sith Infantryman, Old Republic Era Saga Edition campaign: Neck cracked by the BBG at the campaigns end.

[Setherick]

We were playing a DG game a few years back where we raided a cultist church and somehow got transported to an alien craft. My FBI DG-friendly was mowing cultists and alien creatures down with a shotgun with dragon fire rounds, and losing massive sanity as he did so, with five out of my first seven or so rolls being in the ought-one to ought-nine range. There were body parts everywhere. (At close range, a shotgun in CoC does 6d6 or 8d6, I forget which, on a character that has usually 12-14 HPs.)

By the time we got transported to the ship my character was temporarily crazed and I was playing him like he had more of a hair-trigger than he did. At this point, Jason's character gets taken over by one of the aliens and shoots my character in the back at point blank range with a 9mm. The 9mm barely does damage because of my body armor and I swing the shotgun, with again dragon fire rounds, on him and say, "You son of a bitch."

And roll a double-ought. The shotgun explodes as it jams killing my character instantly and mortally wounding Jason's. The damage done to Jason was enough to break his trance, but the other character abandoned him as they fled back out the portal.

[Robot Master]

I had a douche GM in a long term Vampire: The Masquerade game that claimed THREE characters' lives in the span of two gaming sessions. They're pretty funny stories though so I'll get right down to it. If you're familiar with Vampire: The Masquerade we were playing a Sabbat game, so basically we were playing the bad guys. Also, even though the DM was a douche this would have NEVER been possible without my funny and hell buddy, Brom, making funny characters. I don't play with them anymore though, because this is basically all that they did. We didn't do a lot of solid RP.

Character one: Tzimisce vampire, kingpin type character.
-My character arrives in town with Brom's character, who is clearly either drugged out or a Malkavian (the insane clan). We meet in a parking garage beneath a hotel in Vegas and introduce ourselves. After a short conversation we're directed to an elevator that will take us to the Sabbat's private club where we will make ourselves known to the local vampires. We get into the elevator and after a few seconds the muffled sound of drum and bass techno starts reaching its way to the elevator. Brom's character starts to shake. Brom himself starts snickering quietly, and hands his character to the DM who busts out in laughter.

Naturally, I get shifty eyed and say "What?". The DM tells Brom to roll a willpower check. Again, I'm shifty eyed. Brom starts laughing.

So my character starts asking Brom's character if he's okay and whatnot, and all of the sudden he starts bouncing against the walls of the elevator, screaming to high hell. He opens his coat and it's FILLED WITH FUCKING GRENADES. My character starts trying to hit the buttons to let him out of the elevator, but it was too late. Brom unknowingly noted on his character sheet that his character's derangement is that he's a violent psychopath pyromaniac, basically, and that loud techno music is what triggers him. That's why his character carried around a boombox. He was designed to put on the music and get down to the killing.

About thirty seconds later my character was blown up in the first volley of grenades being thrown all about the club and I about pissed myself laughing.

Character Two: Toreador Antitribu artist from South America
I decided then that I was going to play a character with some serious social pull. Brom's character died in the grenade incident so we both made new characters. Since Vampire is basically putting dots on a character sheet...this took about three or four minutes.

So our characters are taken to a private airfield where we're going to be flown from Mexico City to Los Angeles. We wake up and climb out of our coffins while the plane is in the air, already getting word that we're being redirected to a different part of the city due to an "incident involving explosives" at the previous meeting place. Snicker Snicker. Anyway...we get down to character descriptions. I go first. It's the typical "yeah he's wearing a baggy black, silk shirt, long black hair, lots of tattoos, a kind of Chilean "Dave Navarro" kinda look..."

...Brom starts laughing again, and hands his character sheet to the DM, who prompts him to make a willpower roll, which he fails.

He describes his character as a bald, white man with a wife beater, camo pants, and red laces on his shoes. My character, not thinking any differently, starts talking to his character who immediately starts berating my character for talking to him. Nomatter what my character does nothing will calm him down due to him botching his willpower check. One, two, ten a SHOTGUN gets pulled which fires and punches a hole through the cockpit of the plane, killing the pilot. Both of our characters die in the crash as neither know how to pilot.

Why? Because Brom put every last flaw on his character sheet to make him a vicious racist. Douche, but it was still funny as piss.

(Last One) Character Three: Salubri Antitribu "tough guy"

I loaded this guy down with Fortitude, which is basically "supernatural" toughness designed to soak damage that includes sunlight. Brom made a normal seeming guy, which should have tipped me off. Anyway, the evil Sabbat head vampire guy is about to be sieged by police that are in the pockets of the other rival Vampires, the Camarilla, and has decided to turn it into a blood bath to expose them as much as possible to the media. My character is a pretty badass Salubri with a FAMAS assault rifle, some body armor, and has that total mercenary look. Brom's character is a guy in a business suit. Anyway...

After about two hours of RP, "Big bad head guy" tells us that he's going to the other room and that under no circumstances are we to touch his "blood doll" women and leaves my character in charge. Brom's character waits about 20 minutes and then slips into the room where the women are kept. He comes out COVERED in blood. My character goes ballistic "Fucker you're going to get me killed, etc etc" and decides he's going to punish Brom's character. My vampire grabbed Brom's character by the neck, slammed him THROUGH the window to dangle his character outside of the building from the 60th floor, flipped his FAMAS on full auto, and then emptied the clip into Brom's character and dropped him. His character died.

Big bad comes into the room "what happened? What happened?" and my character explains. Pissed, Big-Bad runs into the room with the women and comes out with two COMPLETELY UNTOUCHED women. My character runs in, sees that Brom's character got into a cooler that had blood packs inside and didn't touch the women. He makes my guy give him the FAMAS, and he does the same to my character.

Only my character LIVED! Aha! right? Wrong.

Later in the game my character wakes up, having fell and crushed a limousine. Broken and bloodied he can't move and has to heal himself with his blood to even have a hope of crawling out. That is, until Big-bad decides to use a stinger missile on the roof to shoot down a SWAT helicopter that crashes down into the limousine, killing my character.

...those mother fuckers. Funny, but I was the "game bitch" for those sessions and shortly after stopped gaming with them.

[clockworkjoe]

those sound like high school games

[Robot Master]

I guess I could have posted it there, couldn't I? Hrm.

[beej]

4e game recently

The Dwarf in the party told the Lich we stumbled across to 'Bring it!'   It brought a TPK.