This is the quest that never ends

[clockworkjoe]

I've been playing Dragon Age and the nesting quests can be pretty ridiculous - I get a quest to ask for help from a noble but his village is being attacked by zombies
I do a quest to save them to get to the castle to ask the noble
I get to the castle but castle has monsters
so I do a quest to stop the monsters
source of the monsters is the noble's possessed kid plus the noble has been poisoned
only way to exorcise the demon is to go to the magic astral plane
only way to get there is either a human sacrifice ritual or go ask the mages for help
go to the mages for help
GUESS WHAT
THEY'VE GOT FUKKEN MONSTERS TOO
and in the process of saving their asses I get trapped in the astral plane so I have a new quest to free myself
I had to do a quest to do a quest to do a quest and I have one more quest to do in order to finish the first quest of asking the noble for his help in fighting the evil army AND HE IS JUST ONE OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP 



So let's have a game of a quest that never ends. Ean and I started it:

ean: You will need to find the bathroom key. Unfortunately it is in the posession of the ice dragon, who will only give it up for a flower from the eastern slopes of the great mountain. But the mountain pass is blocked, and you will need to borrow the fire orb of the savages of the river level.

me:  and don't forget you have to capture a mountain ape in order to gain the trust of the savages
and you have to learn the secrets of mountain ape hunting from a notorious ranger
who is in prison

 ean:  Only his lover holds the key
But she is imprisoned at the top of a high tower that only the eagles may reach.

me:  and the eagles can't fly because a gnome stole their magic feather
and its in a dungeon

 ean:  Next to a gnome skeleton.

 me:  which can only be found if you have the secret map
WHICH YOU LEFT IN THE BATHROOM

 ean:  D:
But don't worry. Once upon a time there was a man who entered the bathroom.
He may of seen the map. If you can find him, he might be able to help.
He came from a village to the north and wore a red scarf. Perhaps if you systematically talk to each person in the village several times after changing various things, one will know something about him.

 me:  but before that happens
you have to free the village from a curse
the only way to do that
is to go back in time
in order to learn how to travel back in time you must venture to the ruins of Atlantis
and find the fabled Zybourne Clock


So what quest do you have to finish to get the clock?

[Tadanori Oyama]

((I'm about three steps past you on that particular quest line. I'm still not done yet. I left and went to hang with the elves and dwarves. Fuck humans.))

Before you can use the fabled Zybourne Clock you will need to gather the individual Zybourne gears and assemble them in the proper ancient mystic configuration.

[clockworkjoe]

The Clock can only be assembled at the Clockmaker's Guild chambers. In order to gain entrance to the chambers, you must slay the clockwork guardians.

[Tadanori Oyama]

However, the only way you can slay a clockwork guardian is with the enchanted Switzer Pick, kept in the Grand Neutral Fortress on Mt. Deathice. You'll have to convince the Eternal Neutrals to break their vows to acquire the pick.

[Ryo]

These is something in that quest line fighting the demon that is very fun. Once you do it on your own you should look up some spoilers for it. It cool enough you might want to redo it.

[Fizban]

However, the only way you can slay a clockwork guardian is with the enchanted Switzer Pick, kept in the Grand Neutral Fortress on Mt. Deathice. You'll have to convince the Eternal Neutrals to break their vows to acquire the pick.

Of course, the Eternal Neutrals cannot break their vows without formal confirmation from the Watcher, so you must travel to the Library of Eternal History to get the Watcher to fill out oath rescindence form 11A(b)(iv), confirming that they can break their oath.

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

Except the Library of Eternal History has been ransacked and all of its oath forms have been confiscated by order of royal decree in the name of Lord Bizzletinks the third. So you must find a way to sneak into his extremely well guarded fortress to retrieve the paperwork.

[Dawnsteel]

In your enquiries as to the location of Fortress Bizzletinks, you discover that Lord Bizzletinks the Second had the drawbridge and all the walls covered with whoopie cushions and large piles of precariously-balanced chinaware, effectively making it impossible to sneak into.  However, you've heard that the Mutant Owl People of Grul'ghast have a sacred nectar that will allow you to sprout your own soft feathery wings, and those wings, while not strong enough to carry you to great heights, will allow you to silently fly over the walls of the keep.

[Tadanori Oyama]

All you need to do is procure the map to Grul'ghast from a dealer in occult and mythical kingdoms. However, they are all currently at a convention in another country you can't access without an expansion pack so you'll need to acquire $14.99 and a high speed internet connection.

[Salkovich]

All you need to do is procure the map to Grul'ghast from a dealer in occult and mythical kingdoms. However, they are all currently at a convention in another country you can't access without an expansion pack so you'll need to acquire $14.99 and a high speed internet connection.

Unfortunately you've maxed out your credit cards and the IRS thugs are pounding on your door. You must slay or recruit them in order to gain access to their master.

[Tadanori Oyama]

But to do either you'll need to unlock the PVP sub-game, which requires reading the game's GameFAQs entry since it isn't listed in the game manual. But you currently have Dragon Ages open on your PC so you can't access your browser. You'll need to find a Windows Key to close out the game window.

[crash2455]

To get your Windows key, you need to call Microsoft Customer Service, a fabled hotline that apparently operates in the 10th dimension.  You need to solve the Unifying Field Theorem to get beyond this dimension.

[Charlie72]

However, the Unifying Field Theorem is written on a slab in a hidden temple. When you get there, you could start by running to the room of three gargoyles. Push in the right tongue and a door might lead you down a staircase into the wall-climb which may bring you into the shrine of the silver monkey! Assemble the statue and you may have chance to sit upon the throne of the pretender! If the correct door is unlocked, you may crawl into the pit of despair and finally make your way through the cave of sighs, back to the temple gate!

The choices are yours and yours alone. Good luck.

[Tadanori Oyama]

You'll need to have the tongue of a gargoyle in order to push it in. The gargoyles live in the underground caverns below the Kingdom of Losum, you'll need to convince one of them to give you its tongue.

[siriq]

But in order to get to the kingdom of Losum you will need to find the fabled airship to cross the impassible sea of doom.  The only man said to have seen this ship is in a village to the north who wears a green scarf.