Based off one of the lame superpowers Scientology says it grants its members, Salinity Man:
He has the power to control the salinity of things. He can turn sea water into fresh water, and vice versa. He can alter the salinity of his enemies blood, as though they just drank gallons of salt water, causing intense thirst, their kidneys to fail and other organs to falter, leading to impaired judgement, hallucinations and death. Also can control his own salinity, thus keeping his blood pressure down despite the high sodium diet that his powers demand.
Doug - He's canadian and very polite, although still quite evil. He has walked into many banks and asked for large sums of money, which the staff eventually help him carry to his car and wave goodbye as he signals and then pulls out into traffic at a moderate speed. The several Supers who have gone against him report their blasting into his lairs preparing for a fierce battle with the intent to pummel him into the ground, and leaving with a freshly baked hot-dish and some cookies, promising to come over later to watch the big hockey game.
Number 2 - A man cursed by a cursed gypsy after taking too long in a taco bell restroom, he appears as a normal human but is actually effectively an animate pile of feces. Practically immune to physical damage, as normal attacks simply sink into or pass through him, he can reform his body after being splattered and can transform himself in part of in whole into feces, ranging anywhere he wishes on the bristol stool chart (he is liquid metal...except with crap). He can produce and control waves of feces, or shoot it like bullets out of his hands, etc. He is noticeable due to his smell, and a part of him wishes to die, but every time he tried to kill himself he found he was immune to the damage.
