I don't know if anyone will find this amusing... But, it's an interesting story at the very least
Now before we go ahead with this i need to advised you that a lot of my friends arn't the brightest people in the world, and often make rash decisions; this is one of those times.
In this campaign we had 4 players (including myself), a cleric, a fighter type (i can't remember what class but he had a spear) a spell caster and me, the bard. We we're doing a dungeon crawl, which was going quite well. We had come across two or three smaller encouters and won all without any problem. Our final encounter came at the top of a stair case, about 30 feet long... at the end of the stair case we could see a few creatures (of which variety i do not remember, most likely kobolds). For some reason the rest of my party had worked themselves into a frenzie over a matter of seconds. All of them screaming
"What are we going to do?! They're coming up the stairs!!". etc.
Forgetting that we had already bested a number of these creates no more then 15 minutes prior. They continue.
"We have to act fast!" screams the cleric
"I have an idea!" replies the spell caster, the most idiotic of the bunch "Pass me your tower shield" he screams
"What are you going to do?" The fighter-type questions
"I'm going to cast grease on this tower sheild, you're going to sit at the helm with your spear pointing forward" He says pointing at the fighter-type "While i sit at the back to give it balance and the cleric will push us down the stairs killing all the creatures instantly"
He has deliberately left me out of the equation as i will most likely laugh in his face, hit him or defile his character while he sleeps.
For some shocking reason the rest of them are all on-board, they've all decided that this idea is perhaps the best thing since sliced bread and that they definately cannot fail... cut to
The cleric is pushing them down the stairs and the DM and I are looking at each other in shock horror. It takes the DM about 5 minutes to think about an appropriate DC check and what skills that this rediculous, hell-forged concoxion would need... in the end i think it was ride with a negitive 15 due to the fact that there were three people riding... and what they were riding was a shield. Amazingly.... they failed. The three of them go plumiting down the hall, at a surprising speed. The creatures at the end of the hall step out of the way and watch them fly right past... taking tremendous amounts of damage as they collide with the wall at the end of the passage. They get up, brush themselves off and attempt to mend their ego, then we continue with the battle.... and win. But it doesn't end there.
We enter the next room and there is a coffin in the middle of the room, without a moments notice the mastermind behind previous idea, the spell caster, yells out
"Theres a Lych in the Coffin! He loves Lych's!" He screams at the top of his lungs pointing his finger at the DM with an eerie, unforgiving look in his eye. The other two are at it again... following his every word as if he were Adolf Hitler in a beer hall.
"What do we do?!" "We can't beat a Lych!" they respond...
All of them seem to be forgetting that we were level 1... perhaps level 2 at this point. I don't think many DM's place their level 1 characters up against a Lych, but my logic was wasted on them.
"I have an idea!" The spell caster proclaims again, with every bit as much confidience as his first proclemation.
"You're going to take my water and bless it" He yells with a shit eating grin on his face as he eyes off the cleric "Then, we're going to open the coffin just a small amount, pour the water in. I will jump on top of the coffin, so the Lych cannot escape (because a 90 pound spell caster on top of a coffin is the only way to stop a Lych) while the two of you shake the coffin to move the holy water around"
"You're a genius" they scream... and they're at it again.
They follow his plan to the letter and wait a moment.... nothing. They look at each other.... nothing.
"What happens?" the spell caster asks the DM
"Nothing..." He responds with a confused look on his face
"Did we kill the Lych" questions the cleric
The DM's response was not words but just a look of utter disappointment.
After a few minutes of talking they decide to open the coffin and find... paper mache... what they had done was poured water on top of the scrolls that were lying in the coffin and shaken it up.... the scrolls that we had entered the dungeon to find for a priest back in the town. The game was over after that, mainly for the fact i felt that their actions were slowly but surely lowering my IQ.
So thats about the it, i didn't have a chance to spell check this and i'm sure there are a lot of spelling mistakes, but i thought it was an interesting story anyway. Hope you enjoyed it more then i enjoyed living it.
