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Holy shit, someone else ran a post ww2 yakuza game? Crazy. How did it go?
Quote from: Tadanori OyamaWhich reminds me: if it rains, short straw pumps the hole.
Unless the Cathartic Lobster is anti-technology, I can rig an electric pump without too much trouble.
YEah, the cell phone really does it for me plus I can follow internet celebrities and make replies which they won't ever read.
Adendum:
12 outstanding warrants
0 warrants that can be proved.
(I cover my tracks)
Extra Adendum
(usually)
Well the police must think they can prove it or else you wouldn't have those warrants in the first place, would you?
Did you know a pixie with a vortal sword, sized down for it, still beheads on a critical?
of course, you've seen those animes where the character with the big sword cuts through an even bigger monster with one slice. same concept. that and its bulstered by pixie power, only thing that can trump pixie power is flux capacitor.
Coat hanger?
1. RPPR
2. Retronauts
3. Geekbox
4. Rebel FM + Game Club
5. Listen Up
6. Good Grief
7. 3.5 Private Sanctuary
8. Fear the Boot
9. A life Well Wasted
10. Accidental Survivors
I like 1up and its crew and former crewThere's something about Jeremy Parish. (maybe when he does voices)
Ross is such a joykill.
Well, I mean, it's really our fault for having fun the wrong way and everything.
You guys are missing my point. Don't be all "oh woe is me, my highest stat is a 15" or whatever. If you were a AD&D character, you would WEEP TEARS OF JOY for having a 15 in ANYTHING. You would all make KICKASS adventurers in AD&D.
I mean, read the example session presented in OSRIC. The game was very life or death, even at level 1 and you needed every single advantage you could get just to make it to level 2.
Background: A party of stalwart adventurers, consisting of
Hogarth, human i ghter and party caller (player: Bob), Alice,
human magic user (player: Mary), Friar Chuck, human cleric
(player: Chuck), Groin, dwarf i ghter (player: Jason), Floppinjay,
elf thief (player: Eric), and Hap, normal man mule-tender
(NPC). They are searching for a way down to the ancient ruins
of the Temple of the Serpent-Men, long sought and thought by
most sensible folk to be only a legend until a recent earthquake
opened a deep crevasse and turned up some unusual objects
of unmistakably ancient origin.
gm: After a couple hours searching through the foothills and
scrubland to the south and west of the crevasse you’ve come
across something interesting—a small cave-entrance with a
shallow stream l owing into it and evidence of foot trafi c go-
ing both in and out. The cave entrance is approximately 100
yards west of the crevasse where the ruins are. It’s now about
noon.
Bob: Can we tell anything about the tracks—what made them?
How many individuals? Do the tracks appear fresh?
gm: Whatever made the tracks was about man-sized and
wearing shoes or boots. You’re pretty sure there were multiple
individuals, not just one person going repeatedly in and out,
and most of the tracks appear fairly fresh. You can’t really tell
anything beyond that without a ranger or other woodsman-
type.
Bob: Okay, the elf will go down into the cave and scout it
out.
eric: Why me?
Bob: Because you’re a thief so you’re sneaky and less likely
to get surprised by any monsters that might be lurking down
there, and you’re an elf so you can see in the dark.
eric: Okay, then, I do what he says—cautiously enter the cave
with my sling out, making sure not to step in the stream. What
do I see?
gm: The cave-entrance is about 10 ft wide and 8 ft high and
descends gently as it winds to the north and east. About 30 ft
in it turns to the east so you can’t see beyond that from where
you’re standing. It appears to grow narrower as it goes deeper,
so if you’re going to keep following it, eventually you’re going
to have to be standing in the stream.
eric: Do I hear anything?
gm: [rolls] Just the sound of water dripping and splashing
on the rocks.
eric: I’ll cautiously move up to the eastward turn and look in
that direction—what do I see?
gm: Beyond the curve the passage keeps descending and
narrowing, and winding in a northeasterly direction. You can
see about 40 ft farther, by which point the passage has nar-
rowed to about 4 ft wide and 7 ft tall, i lled entirely by the
stream.
eric: Okay, from where I’m standing I poke into the stream with
my short-sword. How deep is it? How swiftly is it moving?
gm: It’s not deep, only a foot or two. It’s not moving very
quickly either, though a bit faster here than at the surface, and
it looks to be moving a bit quicker up ahead too. You’d have no
trouble standing upright in the middle of it. The water is cool
and a little muddy, but fresh.
eric: Can I hear anything here?
gm: Same as before.
eric: Okay, I go back and report all this to the rest of the
party.
Bob: Right on. So as we head in we’ll have the elf in front, the
dwarf second, me in third, Alice fourth with a torch, then the
NPC and the mule…
gm: Hap says, “I’m not going in there, and neither is Tom!”
Jason: Who’s Tom?
chuck: I think that’s the mule.
gm: [as Hap] Right. We’ll wait for you right here until an hour
before sunset, then we’re heading back to the village whether
you come back or not.
mary: But that’s not the agreement we made…
gm: [as Hap] I just agreed that Tom and I would come with
you to look for these ruins and haul back whatever treasure
you i nd. I never said nothin’ about following you down into
holes in the ground after who-knows-what.
Bob: Will you come with us if we pay you an extra gold piece?
gm: [rolls reaction die] No.
chuck: Can’t we just force him to come with us at swordpoint
and tell him we’ll kill him if he doesn’t?
gm: What’s your alignment again, Friar Chuck?
chuck: Lawful good. Why?
gm: …
chuck: Oh. Never mind.
Bob: Alright then, the NPC and the mule stay behind. Marching
order as before, with the cleric bringing up the rear. The elf has
his sling out, the dwarf his crossbow, I’ve got my spear, Alice
is holding the torch, and the clEric has his hammer and shield.
Everybody agree?
all but gm: Yup.
gm: So, as I described before, the passage winds north and
slopes down for 10, 20, 30 ft, turns to the east and narrows, then
continues winding northeast and narrowing for another 10, 20,
30, 40 ft. By this point the passage is 4 ft wide and 7 ft high and
you’re all standing in the stream, which is about 2 ft deep.
Jason: How deep underground are we?
gm: [rolls] Not too far, maybe 15 ft.
Bob: We continue forward.
gm: Alright. The passage goes east for 10, 20 ft, and curves
to the northeast. The slope levels a bit here, the depth of the
stream increases to about 3 ft, and the current slows a bit.
Over the next 30 ft the passage widens slightly and about 30
ft farther ahead from where you are now the passage appears
to widen out into a cavern.
Bob: Okay, we proceed forward cautiously, still in single i le.
Does the elf hear anything?
gm: [knows there are orcs in the cave ahead, but because
the orcs are alerted to the party’s approach both by the light
from their torch and the disturbance their passage is making
in the stream, they’re being quiet as they set their ambush for
the party. Nonetheless, he decides, on a roll of 01-05 he might
hear something unusual: rolls (79)] Same as before. Splashing
and dripping water; nothing more. As you move forward 10, 20,
30 ft the passage opens out into a wider cavern—bigger than
the radius of your torchlight. You’re entering via the southwest
corner. The stream continues northward through the middle
of the cavern. Give me a surprise roll.
Bob: [rolls] 2
all but gm: *Groan*
gm: Okay, as you i le into the cavern you’re caught unawares
for 2 segments…
eric: I’ve got a 16 dex!
gm: Right, so Floppinjay is caught for 1 segment and eve-
rybody else for 2 segments by a half-dozen brownish-green
fellows with bristly black hair and pink pig-snouts. They’re cur-
rently [rolls] 30 ft away to your right (the east), charging at you
and hurling hand axes as they come. Segment 1, they charge 18
ft. Segment 2, they charge the remaining 12 ft, hurl their axes,
and pull out spears. Only the i rst 3 of you are open targets,
and only Hogarth and Groin can be hit. [Rolls] 4 attacks on
the dwarf, 2 on the i ghter. [Rolls] No hits on the i ghter, 3 on
the dwarf. [Rolls] 7 points total damage. 2 orcs on each of the
dwarf, elf, and i ghter. Actions for round one.
Bob: Attack one of the orcs on me with my spear.
eric: Fighting retreat in a northerly direction.
Jason: Drop my crossbow, pull out my axe and attack.
chuck: Can I move forward into the room?
gm: No, Alice is blocking your way.
chuck: Right-o, then. I’ll wait for her to clear the way…
mary: Do we see or hear any orcs besides these 6?
gm: No.
mary: Then I’ll drop my sleep spell right in the middle of the
crowd.
gm: OK, initiative. Beat a [rolls] 2.
Bob: [rolls] 1. Crap!
gm: The 2 orcs on Floppinjay follow him north and attack
[roll] 1 miss, 1 hit. [rolls] 3 damage.
eric: Aiee!
gm: 2 attacks on Hogarth [rolls] miss, miss. 2 attacks on Groin
[rolls] miss, hit. [rolls] 5 damage.
Jason: I’m down, -3 hit points.
gm: You’re not dead but you’re unconscious and bleeding.
You’re also underwater…
Jason: *Gurgle, gurgle*
gm: Bob, you’re up.
Bob: Attacking the orc on the left. [rolls] 10.
gm: That’s a miss…
mary: I step forward so Chuck can squeeze by and get to
Jason. Then I cast my spell.
gm: [rolls] The 4 orcs who were attacking Hogarth and Groin
are all affected, and so is Hogarth. Floppinjay and the 2 orcs
who were on him are out of the area of effect.
mary: Good going…
eric: Sorry.
chuck: Can I get to Jason’s body?
gm: Yeah, you’re able to drag him onto shore on the west
side of the stream. Actions for next round?
Jason: I bleed.
Bob: I snore, and inhale water, I suppose.
mary: I wake up Hogarth.
chuck: I administer a cure light wounds to Jason.
eric: I suppose I need to i ght these guys alone? I drop my
sling and get out my short sword to attack.
gm: Initiative. [rolls] Eric, beat a 3.
eric: [rolls] Boo-ya! 4! Attacking the one on my right [rolls]
14.
gm: Near miss. The blow catches on his shield.
eric: These guys have shields?
gm: Yep. Studded leather armour and shields. Armed with
spears. [Considers morale of the orcs–they’ve lost more than
50% of their party. The GM assigns +15% for this; +another
40% for the 4 allies down, -20% for the 2 PCs down; additional
ad hoc -25% because they’re i ghting an elf and have him out-
numbered 2:1. Total modii er +10%; rolls 54 = the orcs will dis-
engage and retreat]. The 2 orcs disengage and retreat towards
a passage in the southeast corner of the cave.
eric: Can we chase them?
gm: Sure, next round. They’ve got a 30 ft head-start, and are
10 ft from the exit at the end of this round. Chuck’s spell goes
off and Jason gets [rolls] 8 hit points back. You’re still uncon-
scious, though, because you went below zero. Mary wakes
Bob up and he spits out some water. The 4 orcs are still asleep
but it looks like the choking from inhaling the water is going
to wake them up next round. Actions?
Bob, mary, and chuck: Finish off the sleeping orcs before
they wake up.
eric: So we’re not gonna chase those two that ran away? OK,
I i nish off the other sleeping orc.
gm: Done. As the two orcs l ee out of the room you hear
one of them calling out in orcish something that sounds like
“unleash the Dogs of War.” Now what?
mary: We look around the room. What do we see? How big
is it?
gm: The cave is irregularly-shaped, approximately 50 ft wide
east-west by 90 ft long north-south. The stream enters via the
southwest corner and exits in the middle of the north wall.
There are 5 ft wide passages out of the northeast and north-
west corners, both going roughly east. The 2 orcs l ed down the
southeast passage. The ceiling is about 15 ft high in the centre
of the cavern, about 8 ft high on the two passages, much lower
on the stream going north. West of the stream there’s nothing
but dirt and rocks. On the east side there are piles of sleeping
skins, vile looking foodstuffs, waterskins, and a crude table that
appears to have a pair of dice and some coins on it.
eric: I check out the table. What type and how many coins are
there? Is there anything else on the table?
mary: I use my staff to sort through the piles of bedrolls and
food. Do I i nd anything interesting or unusual?
Bob: Chuck and I pull the orc bodies onto the west shore
of the stream and examine them. Do any of them have any
jewellery or unusual accoutrements? Does any of them look
like a leader-type?
gm: There are about 2 dozen silver and 7 gold coins on the
table. Aside from the dice there’s nothing else there. You i nd
a few copper and silver coins but nothing else of interest in
the bedding. None of the orcs appears to be a leader-type;
none of them has any treasure or unusual item aside from a
few more copper and silver coins. You hear voices down the
southeast passage – they’re speaking in orcish and it sounds
like way more than two of them.
Bob: Alright, let’s gather up the silver and gold coins and the
dice I suppose, and beat a retreat back to the surface. Chuck
and I will carry Groin’s body, Alice will light the way with the
torch and Floppinjay will bring up the rear. I assume it’s still
daylight outside?
gm: It’s been, like, half an hour tops.
Bob: Right, so these orcs probably won’t try to pursue us into
daylight.
eric: Hold up, I’m not leaving yet. I dump out my two oil l asks
by the southeast passage and want to set up a trip-wire with
an ember to ignite the pool when someone crosses it. Can I
do that?
gm: Sure, you’ve got the same chance to set a trap as you do
to disarm one.
Bob: What are you doing? Come on!
eric: I want to give these guys something to remember us by.
Bob: Whatever, the rest of us aren’t waiting. Catch up when
you’re done…
eric: Okay, so I’m setting the trap. What do I need to roll?
gm: Well, i rst, give me a d6 roll.
eric: Umm, why?
gm: For surprise…
eric: [rolls] 5! Ha!
gm: You turn to see 4 large dogs bearing down on you
from the northeast passage. They’re currently 80 ft away and
charging.
mary: I guess those are the “dogs of war,” eh? I i gured that
was just a code-phrase, like “Hey, Rube”…
gm: Nobody but Eric is in the room. Initiative? [rolls] Beat
a 6.
eric: [rolls] 5, +1 for my Dex because I’m using a missile. So
6, tie!
gm: You can get a shot off before they reach you, then.
eric: [rolls] Attacking dog #2; [rolls] 15 +1 for Dex = 16. That’s
got to be a hit!
gm: Yep.
eric: [rolls] 3 points damage.
gm: Dog #2 whimpers and holds up, but the other 3 continue
their charge and leap to attack, attempting to drag you down.
You’re bigger than them so you get a +4 defence bonus, but
there’s 3 of them, so they get +2 attack on their attack, meaning
they need 14 or better to knock you down. [Rolls] 18 – down
you go! Action for next round?
eric: I’m going to stand back up and pull out my short
sword.
gm: And the dogs, all 4 of them, will try to hold you down.
Initiative: beat a [rolls] 6-1 = 5!
eric: [rolls] 5! Tied again!
gm: We’ll say you’re on your knees by the time the dogs at-
tack. So they get +2 for that, +6 because there’s 4 of them at-
tacking, and you lose your Dex bonus [rolls] 3 + 8 = 11; that’s
enough – they’ve got you held.
eric: So what can I do now?
gm: You can try to break free next round by making a Bend
Bars roll.
eric: Guess that’s what I’ll do then. [Rolls] 18.
gm: Nope. The dogs still have you held. You get one more
chance to break free…
eric: [rolls] 64. Nope.
gm: …before a group of 8 orcs including 2 leader-types in
chain-mail and carrying broadswords enter via the southeast
passage and see you lying there. “Ha ha, look what the mutts
dragged down!”
eric: I surrender!
mary: Umm, don’t orcs normally refuse to take elves as
prisoners?
gm: ‘fraid so…
eric: Blerg.
(etc.)
Behold! Twenty minutes worth of dicking around in Paint!sweet. sadly I couldn't reproduce that with twenty hours of Paint.
just gonna need to take the "hide alighnment" ability and have a really high persuasion. wait didn't 4E introduce good warlocks? I know I sound like a tard but I could of sworn Ive seen one somewhere, it may of been a prestige class.I'll play Cleric. Can't promise to be good at it, of course.
completely forgot you were our cleric, my bad. well if we really need I can play the thief. now we just need a DM.
Not sure how my Warlock is going to fit in with two LG PCs either.
I'll play Cleric. Can't promise to be good at it, of course.
I keep wanting to listen to more of teh Penny Arcade ones, but I'm not on ITunes (I refuse to install Apple software) and can't find regular links off their sites.
