I'm a hypochondriac. I'm not a health nut, nor do I go running to the hospital for every little thing... but sickness and my body breaking down scare me.
I'm most scared about getting cancer. About a year ago I was getting some pretty harsh headaches. I would lay on my bed, terrified that I could have a tumor or something in my head. I couldn't sleep. I felt like my stomach was tied into knots. I felt nauseous and vomited frequently. I had no energy to go to university or even get out of the house.
I thought a lot about what it would be like to die. I realized that one of the things I am most afraid of is going to sleep and never waking up. Sleep feels like your brain shutting down, and thinking that made me terrified. If at all possible, I want to be conscious the moment I die. I want to see death approaching, not have my life stolen away without me knowing about it.
The headache didn't subside. After a few days, I went to the doctor. I got a CT scan. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the scan. Eventually, the doctor just advised me to take more vitamins and gave me some sleeping aids, citing a vitamin deficiency, stress, lack of sleep. Within a few days, my headaches had subsided.
So yeah, it was a false call. But that was one of the most terrifying experiences I've had. I'm not sure I can face my own mortality very easily. Sure, media has desensitized me to media violence, I read about death all the time in newspapers, and a few relatives have passed away and I have attended funerals. But it's always been something that happens to 'them'. And I'm pretty scared when I start thinking about what could happen to 'me'.