Author Topic: Anecdote Megathread  (Read 358939 times)

Flawless P

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #180 on: December 13, 2010, 04:25:56 PM »
This story is from chapter 2 of our campaign with the murderous flowers that I summed up a few posts ago.

We evetually finished building our new ship, took MONTHS as it should luckily there were lots of natural resources around. We ended up leaving and eventually came to a new port where we stopped to resupply and get make some money.

one of crew members, a fiendish bloodline sorceror was staying in a hotel and was found over a murdered man in the morning, he was drugged and couldn't remember anything, but we realized he had been framed.

So we go on a quest to find proof of this, so that he wouldnt be put to death. We eventually find proof and bring it back to the guard station, where he is held, problem is all the guards seem to have had a change of heart about our presence and we are ambushed and arrested.

We noticed that each of them was wearing an ear ring, they were all identical, so we deduced that they were being mind controlled.

This is where Tim comes in. Tim is a wizard, a wizard who has half of his leg missing and part of his bicep torn off from the shipwreck earlier.

His wounds had healed but he was still a frail individual with one leg. Well he also turned out to be the guy with magic missle.

Tim's player is a bit new to DnD so he turns to the DM and asks, Magic Missle hits its target unerringly correct? The DM responds yeah but you can't make called shots with it, it strikes them in a generic location unerringly.

Tim's brilliant logic is, "I want to target the Ear Rings."

Our DM's face lit up with excitment to hear this unique plan.

It worked, only problem was we had a large group of 1 eared guards who were pretty upset about it.

They still let our buddy go and everything turned out ok.(There was a battle in there somewhere but the story is already kinda long.)
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Tadanori Oyama

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #181 on: December 14, 2010, 04:45:24 PM »
I ran my first Deathwatch game Saturday. There where three PCs, all playing warhammer 40k space marines, so everybody was a total badass.  Scenario start, they kill like a hundred aliens with their chainsaw swords and ship-to-ship missiles.

Second fight they got ambushed by dozens of flying aliens with neutron guns while they where shotting through a forest in their big transport ship. The techy fails his drive roll and smashes into some trees, slowing the speeder to a stop. First round of neurton shots hits the assault marine melee specialist in the arm. He gets hit hard and the critical hits table dictates that his arm gets shocked numb for awhile and that he vomits. So, he vomits into the helment of his space suit, runs with one arm flailing in the breeze, and starts operating the mounted heavy bolter on the speeder with vomit covered lenses and one arm.

They manage to kill all the aliens and find the place they where sent to check out. In so doing they set off an alien brain bomb and they all start having visions of their worst nightmares, except for the tech specalist who made the save. So, the two guys on the speeder see the techy turn into a huge monster and open fire on him with the mounted gun just as more aliens, who detected the mental blastwave, land to check things out.

The techy gets shot up but charges and goes to work with his sword while the assault marine takes a flying leap with his jetpack and boards the alien drop ship. Once onboard he slaughters the crew, kicks his way into the cockpit, and nosedives the ship. To escape, he kicks out the cockpit window but gets stuck since the aliens are smaller than normal human size and he’s a giant human. So, as the ship crashes, he fires off his jetpack to tear free, screaming a battle cry while doing so and fails his jetpack piloting roll. He hits the ground, face first, at top speed. But since he’s a space marine he takes no damage. The techy runs behind the crashed ship for cover, since he was standing in an open field when the aliens landed and started using him for target practice. The assault marine runs around to cover as well and tells the techy “Don’t worry; I’ll get us out of here.”

He grabs the techy and ignites his jetpack again, rising slowly into the air. Away from the cover of the ship. With a huge squad of enemy aliens and their battlesuit wearing commander watching. The aliens track up, taking their time to aim, and open fire. Amazingly, they survive the hits, and just then the gunship they’d called up breaks the treeline, weapons firing.

40K. Awesome.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2010, 05:41:54 PM by Tadanori Oyama »

Dom

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #182 on: December 14, 2010, 05:39:45 PM »
That sounds like a Dawn of war intro cutscene. Awesome!

Fizban

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #183 on: December 14, 2010, 10:03:09 PM »
Marines are built to survive - which actually makes your average gung-ho charging player a little more validated in his decision to go balls first into combat, firing guns wildly at friend and foe alike.  I'm still undecided on whether this sort of behaviour actually needs any more encourangement...

clockworkjoe

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #184 on: December 19, 2010, 07:07:48 PM »
I dont know if this counts as an anecdote or not but the chatlog for a maptools game I played in last year - this was done at someones house - there were enough laptops to go around and it saved us time on setting up a board and minis

Fuzzy has connected.
Mithril GM has connected.
Jonny has connected.
Ross:    hi
Fuzzy:    Oh Hai Ross!
Fuzzy:    Oh Hai Doggy!
Ross:    you're my favorite customer
Ross:    Matt - plz have Bil eaten by a grue k thx bye
   Bill:    Not the Richard Gere dream again!
   Bill:    Rectum? Damn near killed'em!
   Bill:    What is... Richard Gere?!
   Bill:    « 1d20 = 2 »
   Bill:    « 1d20 = 19 »
   Ross:    they went from being big gnomes on campus...to dead on arrival
   Ross:    YYYYEEEEEAAHHHHH
"puts sunglasses on" Unknown command. Try /help for a list of commands.
* Ross puts sunglasses on
",e takes sunglasses off" Unknown command. Try /help for a list of commands.
* Ross takes sunglasses off
   Jonny:    Aw, snap!
   Bill:    Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaagh!
* Ross walks in slow motion and in the background an Escalade explodes in a massive fireball
   Bill:    
   Ross:    
   Bill:    
   Ross:    kekekeke u giev SOJ?
   Ross:    zerg rush kekekekeke ^_^
   Bill:    OMG BLUE TEXT?!
   Iochonen:    WTB SOW!
   Iochonen:    2 rogue lfg!
   Bill:    OMG DPS LOLZ!
   Ross:    no AWP camping
   Ross:    gg nextmap
   Bill:    « 1d20 = 9 »
Mithril GM:    « 1d20+mod = 7 + 2 = 9 »
   Ross:    barbarian needs food badly
Mithril GM:    « 1d20+7 = 18 + 7 = 25 »
Mithril GM:    « 1d3+1 = 1 + 1 = 2 »
* Ross takes sunglasses off and says "your goose...is cooked" then puts sunglasses back on
* Ross says "that dog just took a bite out of crime" then poses in slow motion while turning around in a designer suit
   Iochonen:    Scruff McGruff, that you?
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEEEEAaaaaaaaaagghh!"
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
* Ross puts sunglasses on while barrels explode in the background as a magic missile whistles by his head and sparks fly everywhere
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
Mithril GM:    « 1d20+6 = 6 + 6 = 12 »
Mithril GM:    « 1d12+8 = 11 + 8 = 19 »
* Ross yells out in slow motion "NNNOOOOOO" then drops to his knees in anguish while taking his sunglasses off
* Ross weeps for his fallen comrade while doves fly around him in slow motion. A chorus of angels sings in the distance
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
* Ross puts his sunglasses back on and says "revenge is best served...with death" and gets up - another explosion detonates in the distance
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
   Dog Companion:    Raooo chomp
Attack« 1d20+2 = 6 + 2 = 8 »
Damage« 1d4+2 = 1 + 2 = 3 »
   Dog Companion:    Raooo chomp
Attack« 1d20+2 = 20 + 2 = 22 »
Damage« 1d4+2 = 4 + 2 = 6 »
   Dog Companion:    Raooo chomp
Attack« 1d20+2 = 11 + 2 = 13 »
Damage« 1d4+2 = 4 + 2 = 6 »
* Ross says "I'll cast the first stone' then unleasehes an attack with his sling at Githyanki leader
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
   Githyanki 5:    Would you stop with the macros!
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
   Yakko:    No, wait, actually no, we can't
   Wilin Delfore:    Scorching Ray
Attack« 1d20+1 = 7 + 1 = 8 »
Damage« 4d6 = 16 »
   Githyanki 5:    Everything is Hazy...
Roll Will Save
   Githyanki 6:    Sword Slash
Attack« 1d20+4 = 19 + 4 = 23 »
Damage « 2d6+1 = 8 + 1 = 9 »
   Githyanki 7:    Arrow Shot
Attack « 1d20+2 = 5 + 2 = 7 »
Damage« 1d8+1 = 4 + 1 = 5 »
   Githyanki 2:    Everything is Hazy...
Roll Will Save
   Githyanki 8:    I attack the dark!
Magic Missile Auto Hit
Damage « 1d4+1 = 1 + 1 = 2 »
* Ross puts on sunglasses and wipes some dust from his face (a nearby explosion kicked up a giant dust cloud) and says "this shit just got real"
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
Fuzzy:    « 1d20 = 1 »
   Wilin Delfore:    Ray of Frost
Attack« 1d20+1 = 7 + 1 = 8 »
Damage« 1d3 = 2 »
Fuzzy:    « 1d20 = 16 »
Fuzzy:    « 1d6 = 4 »
"1d20" Unknown command. Try /help for a list of commands.
   Wilin Delfore:    Casts Spell
Instant Hit
damage « 1d4+1 = 3 + 1 = 4 »
Mithril GM:    « 1d20+8 = 4 + 8 = 12 »
   Bodak:    Slam Attack
Attack « 1d20+6 = 17 + 6 = 23 »
Damage « 1d8+1 = 1 + 1 = 2 »
* Ross says "no need to thank us..we're just adventuring...Miami Style"
   Yakko:    *Yells "YEEEEEEEAaaaaaagghh!"
Jonny is disconnected.

Moondog

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #185 on: December 22, 2010, 03:37:54 PM »
Now, I have the distinct pleasure of gaming with a group of people all of whom have been playing D&D since it had an A tacked onto the front of it. Folks who (fondly) remember when the various races were classes.

These're people who know what they're doing, and I don't think I could have ever found a better gaming group even if I tried. That said, one of them is one of those guys. We'll call him Ted. Ted is one of those guys who generally plays the same character again and again, just with a different class each time.

They're loud, aggressive, 'don't take no shit from no-one', and prioritize intimidation and strong-arming over reasonable diplomatic methods, such as negotiation. It doesn't matter whether they're a paladin, ranger, scout, warmage, or druid, they all do it to disastrous effect.

He's one of those guys that DMs love, because if they ever need to push a PC's button and propel everyone forward, he's the guy who is so easy to get going, you hardly have to try. Unfortunately, this tends to make the other players frown, because we know and dread what Ted will do next.

His character habits tend to get said characters killed in the most spectacular of fashions. They don't run away, regroup, or try to take things on from the side. They instead charge in and start swinging, usually to our cries of 'Ted, no!'

So, D&D, 3.5 game, Ted is playing Seamus, a hard-bitten, cynical druid who trusts the forest creatures more than deceitful humans. He's been with our group of hardy adventurers for a while now, and we're all gearing up to defend a forest-stronghold against an enemy army, led by a trio of mages all of whom are rather bad news.

We've done our best, but the beholder the enemy had dominated into service for use as a sapper (disintegrate at will makes for an *amazing* digging tool) made a tunnel under our walls and wham, we were overwhelmed in a few minutes flat (one of those 'you really aren't supposed to succeed here, but you can try! situations). So, we, being intelligent players, made our subtle exit out the back way and into the forest to regroup and see if we can't figure a way to reclaim the place at a later date.

When we notice a trio of men in arcane looking robes smugly wandering through the forest and petrifying the few defender silly enough to swing at them. We, the players, exchange glances, nod, and swiftly go 'We all go in the opposite direction!'.

Except for Ted. Ted smiles, and says 'They're going to ruin my yard. I charge them!'

Cue "Ted, no!"

Now, he had managed to get his hands on a vorpal scythe earlier in the game, as our GM loves handing out awesome weapons with caveats (it would drain Con from him every time he swung it, if I recall correctly. Nasty weapon, really nasty).

He rolls a natural 20, and beheads one of the mage lords right off the bat. We all just stare at him, while he cackles.

The other two mages, unfortunately, busted out twin-spelled Isaac's Greater Magic Missile Swarms, and after a few hundred d4s, our poor 8th level druid was reduced to a quivering pile of jelly, while the rest of us got away scot free.

Then there was his replacement Warmage. We'd infiltrated a sunken temple in desecrated lands, in search of a way to heal lands ruined by mana-drain.

In the bottom level, sitting upon a pile of treasure that would make Scrooge McDuck giggle in glee, lay a two-headed dragon, who looked rather bored, and not all that hostile. We figured 'alright, hey, we can probably convince him to give us our MacGuffin in exchange for some goodies or promise of later service or something, right?'

Ted smiles, and marches his elven warmage right up to the dragon, and begins poking it in the nose to get its attention, saying 'Dragon, in my blood flows magic mightier than even your biggest and baddest of breath weapons!' and then asked the DM if he could roll an intimidate check.

"Ted, no!"

Then our DM smiled and said 'Sure'.

A smiling DM is never good.

He rolled like, a 17 or so, and turned to us, saying, 'See? I'm not afraid of a big liz-' it was about then that the dragon bit him twice in one round, getting a critical hit on the first bite and killing him instantly (elven warmages. Not huge on the hit points), and was promptly torn apart, which initiated combat as all of our characters were good and would be honor bound to avenge his death. . .even if he deserved it.

Fast forward a bit. Our warmage was dead, our ranger bit the dust, the dwarven crossbowman was reduced to 3 or so hit points, and my catfolk rogue had 1 left over before we brought that thing down.  Ted's response? "See? If I hadn't have done that, you wouldn't have gotten any treasure!"

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Fizban

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #186 on: December 22, 2010, 04:28:34 PM »
Ted's next character should be called Leeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins.

Moondog

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #187 on: December 22, 2010, 07:39:57 PM »
It would be a good fit.

He's not all bad, though! Later, he made a paladin who, after acquiring a vorpal weapon, found himself frequently hurled (via Swordsage throwing techniques) sword-first at far away enemies. 1st and 2nd time we tried it, natural 20s were rolled, and so did two dragons' heads. The third time he just ended up with a 19 critical.

It became a party in-joke that 'if we ever fight something REALLY dangerous, we'll just hurl the paladin at it."

Then there was the time an illusionist with a Sphere of Annihilation was encountered by the party. . .  :'(
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Flawless P

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #188 on: December 27, 2010, 12:08:42 PM »
...which initiated combat as all of our characters were good and would be honor bound to avenge his death. . .even if he deserved it.

Most of my group would be like "While he is intimidating the Dragon I leave." "You can't make it all the way out." "I use the Run Action to get as far away from this as possible."

I've seen many Good Aligned characters who would do this.
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Moondog

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #189 on: December 27, 2010, 01:24:46 PM »
...which initiated combat as all of our characters were good and would be honor bound to avenge his death. . .even if he deserved it.

Most of my group would be like "While he is intimidating the Dragon I leave." "You can't make it all the way out." "I use the Run Action to get as far away from this as possible."

I've seen many Good Aligned characters who would do this.

That would have been a good idea! But then we wouldn't have gotten a small mountain of treasure and the MacGuffin. Including an iceberg of ice that never melts! I think we ended up giving that to a desert-princess as a present, easily trumping everyone else's puny gold and silver. :smug:
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Flawless P

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #190 on: December 27, 2010, 02:19:11 PM »
...which initiated combat as all of our characters were good and would be honor bound to avenge his death. . .even if he deserved it.

Most of my group would be like "While he is intimidating the Dragon I leave." "You can't make it all the way out." "I use the Run Action to get as far away from this as possible."

I've seen many Good Aligned characters who would do this.

That would have been a good idea! But then we wouldn't have gotten a small mountain of treasure and the MacGuffin. Including an iceberg of ice that never melts! I think we ended up giving that to a desert-princess as a present, easily trumping everyone else's puny gold and silver. :smug:

That's awesome, I remember using that logic in character to convince the other PC's to track down a dragon. The conversation was something along the lines of.

"What if the Dragon is still alive and besides the mountain is really dangerous."
"Dragons, have hoards...."
"Let's Do It."
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Moondog

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #191 on: December 27, 2010, 04:20:06 PM »
Player logic is a grand thing, ain't it?
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Flawless P

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #192 on: January 03, 2011, 02:11:30 PM »
Everytime I play this campaign I come back with a story. I almost feel like they are too long to be Ancedotes but I will try to do this one justice without being too obtuse.

We have a running game(I have posted a few things about it here.) However I have never really given you guys the premise so...screw trying to be short this deserves a mention.

Premise: We were shipwrecked and met a Great Wyrm Red Dragon who was rather benovolent. He had taken this race under his wing and was teaching them all about technology from his world.

Dragons:

His world being him and 4 other Dragons came from a Spelljammeresque exsistance where the Dragons no longer warred with each other over color and divided the universe up equally between each color chromatic and metallic alike. On the outskirts of the known universe a long standing war was being waged between the Fey. The Seelie and Unseelie had been locked in a bloody war to keep the Unseelie Fey from breaking the barrier and attempting to take over the rest of the Universe. They eventually won and were able to push through to the Dragons lands. Dragons and Elemental forces clashed with the Fey and slowly the Fey gained ground. Eventually the Unseelie Fey had conquered all of the Dragons territory and Malyx a Great Wyrm Red Dragon was able to save himself his Daughter Selene his Brother Chool, one of his allies Beryl, and Selenes love N'yarvix.

Malyx - Red

Beryl - Black

N'Yravix - Haven't met him yet

Selene - Silver

Chool - White

When they made it to this land they decided to go their seperate ways, Selene and Chool moved to a fishing town Malyx lived on the pennisula near a volcano, Beryl moved underground to the north and N'Yarvix moved far north away from the others.

Although N'Yarvix and Selene loved each other as part of the Red Dragons Alliance with The Black Dragons, Selene was promised as a bride to Beryl.

She refused and he was furious he trapped her in her human form and threatened to kill N'Yarvix if he ever came close to her, going as far as to create a large mass of land that neither could cross without his knowledge.

Selene being resourceful as she was created a humanoid/robotic body to house N'Yarvix's mind so that they could be together across the great distance.

Enter our party, before she could put her lovers mind into the body she used it to save one of our party members whose body was destroyed. At the last moment his body was transfered into his new form and he quickly learned that although the body was strong and capable of combat, that his bodies primary function was to serve as a way for the to Dragons to have sex with each other...essentially his new body was a really advanced Sex Toy.


He is repeatedly damaged and we have to keep coming back to her for repairs. Yesterday however there was no fixing him, he had finally died, he was snapped in half(shoulder to groin in half) by a giant crab claw. We wrapped him up and took the pieces back to Selenes house.(we were all pretty legitimatly upset by this because in our current DM's world ressurection is exceedingly rare, in his own words "Even if there is a scroll of True Ressurection that in and of itself is as rare as an Artifact Item in this world.")

We arrive with the pieces wrapped up and Chool(in human form) answers the door, drunk. He slurs his words a bit and notices the blanket. Stumbling back into the house, he shouts...Selene! Your Dildo's Broken Again!

After all the depressing talk about missing him and what not up until that point, we as players were completely unprepared for this, everyone started laughing so hard they cried, we seriously derailed the campaign for like 5 minutes.


« Last Edit: January 03, 2011, 09:33:15 PM by Flawless P »
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Moondog

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #193 on: January 03, 2011, 04:24:33 PM »
Hahaha, niiiiice.

Those giant 'craps', they've got some nasty claws.

Let me tell you, meeting those is a truly shitty experience. *G*
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Fizban

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Re: Anecdote Megathread
« Reply #194 on: January 11, 2011, 07:30:00 AM »
I figured it was time to add another anectode from history.  I enjoy most those anectodes that reflect some sort of maxim of the roleplaying world, so I chose this one to share.  Since there was talk in another thread about a character's personality growing through their experiences, I figured I'd tell a story or two about that.

My wife and I had moved to Queensland for my work, and we had no-one to roleplay with.  We did play Warhammer 40k though, so we would turn up to the local battle bunker regularly to play and hang out with people of similar nerdy ilk.  I was still pretty new to 40k, and I kept referring to victory points (VP) as XP, because of my D&D heritage.  One of my opponents picked up on it and said, "Why do you keep saying XP?"  and I replied, "Oh, it's just D&D talk, I get them confused."  And he replied, "D&D?  I've always wanted to play, but never had the chance."  Then over my shoulder, a guy from another table replied, "Did you say you're running a D&D game?  I want in on that."

The guy I was playing against is Matt.  Matt was a young guy, just out of high school, who had a list of problems as long as  both arms and legs.  If you can have an acronym for it, he had it - ADD, OCD, DPD, Asperger's, the works - and his family situation wasn't great either.  He didn't have many friends, but he was loyal to gaming and he was dead keen to make a good run of roleplaying.  He made an elf called Lithander, who wanted to be a fire mage.  We called him Lith for short.

The guy from the other table was Randal.  He was an early 30s guy, thin as a rake, and absolutely affable, would do anything for you.  He is always animated and expressive.  He made a human fighter character called John the Unhinged, who came from a long list of tribal berserkers (Bert the Vexed, Ken the Unstable etc) going back to Reg the Nutter, whose blade had been handed down through the family.

I'll start with Lithander the 'fire mage'.  After the party's first encounter with a scout group of draconians (yes, it's Dragonlance - of sorts) in which they did quite well, they continued to follow a trail in the hope of discovering a mage who had sidetracked a caravan and taken it off into the woods.  Unfortunately for the party, this mage had teamed up with a group of hobgoblin slavers, and so when they confronted the mage, they were set upon.  It was a balanced fight, but with a few disastrous rolls and some bad decisions (the party members got stuck in a web, and decided to burn their way out) they were all down.  It was their second encounter, and they were facing a TPK.  what does any DM faced with such a situation do?  Turns to the age-old fallback of taking all of the character's belongings and putting them into slavery, of course!  And so the party found themselves in the back of a slave cart, being taken up over the mountains.  All of a sudden, a dragon attacks the slavers, general  hell breaks loose, the hobgoblins flee, and the party finds themselves free - in their undergarments, without shoes, on top of a mountain.

At this point, survival is the first port of call for the party.  The mage is so physically weak (good old 2E, his strength and constitution were his dump stats) they had to build fires in holes in the ground at night, and then put the mage in the warmed hole and have one of the fighters sleep on top of him.  They were following the hobgoblin tracks, because they had no idea where else to go, and Lith in particular was upset at the loss of his spellbook (making a 1st level mage in 2E absolutely useless).  Eventually they came across the hobgoblin encampment in a cave, but the party were outnumbered, had no weapons, no armour, so no chance. They decided to do some recon in the hope of possibly overwhelming a single hobgoblin, taking his gear, and putting themselves in a better position.  Sure enough, they saw one of the guards go off into the bushes to take a toilet break, and so stalked him.  As they watched him do his business, they saw him then produce a book of some sort, rip out a page, and use it as a bog roll.  Lith recognised it as his spellbook, and lost the plot.  He charged out of the bushes towards the hobgoblin, who was totally surprised to see a half-naked elf rushing him while he was wiping, grabbed his dagger out of the hobgoblin's belt and stabbed him with it, killing him.

This incident crowned the weak and sickly elf mage as "stabbity death", and even when he did get his spells, sometimes he just couldn't help but charge wildly into battle, stabbing at things with his dagger and causing much less harm than if he'd stuck to his spells, but fantastically in character.  He actually only ever learned a single fire spell, flaming sphere, failing his rolls to learn affect normal fires, burning hands, and later flame arrow and fireball, before he died, of all things, from falling out of a tree.

John the Unhinged started off as a fairly typical fighter, who was less of a berserker and more of a fighter with an anger management problem.  But it seemed that he was fated to have strike after strike of bad luck, which slowly but surely drove him further and further around the twist.  It all started when the party was exploring an old crypt (affectionately remembered as the 'morguealeum', since mausoleum was mispronounced) which had in it, among other things, some skeletal bears.  When the old leaking magic of the tombs caused one of Lith's spells to backfire and showered the party with magical lice, the party found themselves hindered by itching and scratching, and their fighting style became a little more desperate and dangerous.  John found himself inside the ribcage of an angry skeletal bear, having to parry for his life whilst the other fighter of the party (Gruklen the minotaur) rained down blows from his halberd against the skeleton and John together.  With one perilous swing, Gruklen broke John's heirloom sword, sending him into a fit of rage and disbelief.  Unfortunately, unarmed, there was little he could do, so he broke off a rib from the skeletal bear and proceeded to beat it to death with its own rib.

At a later stage, whilst involved in ship-to-ship combat, John became the subject of wild magic and had his gender changed.  At first this was just a strange minor inconvenience, but slowly over time (with statements like "Ask him, she knows" from other members of the party) John came to fall more and more from his branch of sanity.  He began to act in a hypermasculine manner, and carve the number 3 above the door of any room he stayed in.  He also started talking to his shield (which would talk back), and asking it advice.  Later on, when his sword, newly repaired, was teleported away by a magic trap, he well and truly snapped.  The sword was in the hands of some frost giants, and he actually went so far as to accept help from tinker gnomes by way of a machine that launched people over crevasses (this is more insane than it sounds if you know of tinker gnomes) in order to get it back.

I still miss this group.  Those were good times.