Gamer Flaws: Significant Other (+5 Points)

[Tadanori Oyama]

I had an idea for a new series of threads focusing on the flaws and merits that Gamers have. The first one popped into my head after reading some posts by other gamers and offering my own solutions.

So, to jump right into the topic, for those of us with girlfriends, boyfriends, fiances, wives, husbands, spouses, or whatever words one uses (I work reception, I've seen ALOT of descriptions people use for their significant others), how do they deal with you gaming?

The cliche woudl be the isolated nerd who's partner (normally wife since, as everyone knows, only boys play games) doesn't understand or have any interest in the hobby and who probably mocks him for playing.

When I met my fiance she wasn't a gamer. Over the course of a few years I've managed to convert her pretty well. She games regularly and is willing to try alot of different games but takes long term breaks from the hobby every few months.

So while I game with her, alot of my gaming is with other people. She seems to be cool with that but sometimes...

How do you balance gaming and your significant other?

[Setherick]

I don't know about this one Tad. Karee and I have usually gamed together without many problems.

[Tadanori Oyama]

Good for you guys. Where you both gamers when you met?

[Setherick]

Good for you guys. Where you both gamers when you met?

Yes. Most online RPGs for me. Karee did more pen and paper gaming.

[Tadanori Oyama]

Sweet. I had to slowly work my girlfriend into the genre. She still doesn't care for most console video games. After three years I've more or less given that struggle up.

[Boyos]

Mine is a bit diffrent. I dont get a lot of time to pnp role play. usuly ill get lucky with 1 game for 4-5 hrs every 2 weekes. but lately nothing. My wife dont mind me gaming as long as she gets to go out and do somthing on her own. she has tryed to game with me but the few times were failed attempts. she says now she wants to play wow with me when we get the net back on. We played city of heros for a bit and it worked out well, but I get too board playing that game.  so im moving to more on-line rpging. hopefully with wow will be able to play more. if not i dont mind playing wow by my self, I have quite a few buddies who play that haha. Right now im playing mass effect 2 and its amazing! so thats the extent of my current rpg life. I destroyed dragon age orgians beat it 3 times all achivements done /flex!

[prizefighter2112]

I was in the middle of a 5 year haitus from D&D when my wife met me.  When I got the itch to play again, she was super supportive, to the point of learning how to play.  She likes the tactical battle of 4e, but she's a little unsure of the whole "role playing" aspects.  I'm currently gearing up to run a Trail of Cthulu scenario for her and my family, so she can get a better idea of what's going on.  

She's not nearly as into the whole thing as I, but overall she rocks.  And thank goodness man, if I had to listen to a bunch of shit it might drive me to divorce.

[IDaMan008]

I haven't had much of a problem striking a balance between my girlfriend and gaming. Then again, I usually only spend about 3-4 hours a week gaming and maybe one or two more than that planning, so it doesn't take up very much of my free time. We've been dating for five years and it hasn't come between us yet, so I'd say things are working out pretty well in that regard.

I did try to bring her into the fold when we first met, but roleplaying wasn't for her. I think one of the biggest problems was that she was intimidated by my friends, some of whom have been playing together since they were thirteen. Still, she'll sit in when we game. Usually, she hangs out with her friend, who's dating one of my players, and the two of them will play World of Warcraft while I GM. It's like a mass concentration of nerd energy sometimes.

[Shallazar]

Alright, so I've been dating my current gf for three years now. She has always known I play DnD. Our sessions were on friday nights and after each one we would be on a date and I would just go on and on and on about what happened at DnD that day.
She came one time to do her crosswords while the rest of us (4 guys and a different girl) were making characters.

She has met all my other friends and helped me come up with ideas and such for my games. I FORCED her to DM a game of 4e, Keep on the Shadowfell and she was super brutal. She thought it was the DMs mission to kill the players. Once she discovered this is not really the point she gave up on games entirely.
She still helps me come up with hooks and character names and for my one shots she draws character portraits.

As to other gaming, she and I started with Capcom Classics 2, which has the best video game ever, Quiz and Dragons. Look it up, it rocks. Anyhow, when Dragon Age came out she wanted to play just because you could have sex with people in it. She is kind of horrible at it but she hasn't given up yet. So i'm just slowly trying to bring her back into the fold through my stockholm syndrome technique.

[Tadanori Oyama]

She thought it was the DMs mission to kill the players. Once she discovered this is not really the point she gave up on games entirely.

She's a keeper. I've managed to get my fiance to run two games of DnD, one in 3.5 and one in 4E. Both where pretty average (she didn't seem to be trying to kill us).


Well I must say I'm pleasantly surprised by how many people have effective gaming relationships. Maybe this should be a Quirk and not a Flaw.

[nbneil]

My fiance is very understanding of my playing habits. Even when my 5 hour game ends up being 7 hours. That's a bit of luck on my part.

I still can't get her to play. She doesn't see the fun in a game with no "winner". Cooperative storytelling isn't a huge draw for her. Maybe one day i'll convince her to give it a try. Of course I have to prove I can run a 1-2 hour session. There's a better chance of me rolling all crits for an entire session.

[Shallazar]

What about a one shot with one goal?
You could schedule it around something important.

Like "something bad happens at midnight" and you could start playing the game at 10pm?

you could probably complete the CoC starting adventure, The Haunting (the OG haunted house), in around two ours. Not to mention that there is a goal, Solve the mystery, and its super easy even a deep one can do it!

[nekomata]

My girlfriend has had more then a few bad expiriances rping because of the people around us. We both want to rp and I've gotten her to be a big fan of GURPS, but it wouldn't be much fun with only the two of us, not to mention us being alone isn't conductive to gaming... The only people we really have to play with are my ex and her friends, but they are all obsessed with Star Wars and neither of us really are interested in playing that mess anymore. Aside from that we play 360 together, beaten all the Halo games and are working on Borderlands, WoW for awhile, Guild wars, I want her to play STO, and I'm teaching her a space combat minitures game called Squadron Strike. Our current Valentines plans are, go out to dinner, see a movie, watch Star Trek for awhile, and play Xbox. There's other things in there I'm not allowed to talk about... and we get into some fairly interesting engineering decussions too. This thread is interesting.

[malyss]

My wife is basically fine with it. Because I'm the man and I put my foot down. That's how I roll.

She is basically resigned to the fact that she has too much money and time (not to mention kids) invested in me to trade me in for something else, so she doesn't really have a choice. Besides, I can actually cook and we hired cleaning ladies (one is hot, the other is not... mother and daughter) and I don't bug her for other stuff too much. She knows there is a lot worse than me out there

[Setherick]

My wife is basically fine with it. Because I'm the man and I put my foot down. That's how I roll.

She is basically resigned to the fact that she has too much money and time (not to mention kids) invested in me to trade me in for something else, so she doesn't really have a choice. Besides, I can actually cook and we hired cleaning ladies (one is hot, the other is not... mother and daughter) and I don't bug her for other stuff too much. She knows there is a lot worse than me out there

Canadian cleaning ladies? Let me guess, they are Portuguese immigrants. Unless you don't live in Toronto.