Scams and Flams

[rayner23]

This is an e-mail that a friend of mine received. She posted it on her Facebook page and I loved it so much, that I have decided to respond to the e-mailer using one of my many junk mail accounts (come on, we all have one). Enjoy!


The e-mail:

Good day,


Please excuse this humble email if it offends your sensibilities, but I have no
other means to contact you. I cannot talk on the telephone, so I did a search
for your email address, which I found on the International Business Directorate
Email Data Search. My name is Mrs. M Pete, I'm a 52 years old woman.


I am a widow who is dying of oesophageal cancers. I was married to
Donald Pete, who was an Executive of Shell Oil Company. We are both
British people who worked in South Africa until he was killed. Presently, I'm
in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for Cancerin South Africa.


I have in a security firm the sum of 10,000,000.00GBP (Ten Million Great Britain
Pound Sterling) which my husband deposited before he died in a tragic automobile
accident where he was killed instantly. Because my doctors informed that I have
several weeks to live I must find a good God fearing person who will see that my
money is used for the benefit of the less privileged like homeless orphans and
motherless babies.

I have decided to seek your help in carrying out my last wishes, I have since lost
my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only few weeks to live,
It is my last wish to see this money distributed.

My research says you are just the person I seek. Because you have been found
#so trustworthy, I will like you to keep 15% for yourselves and give the rest to
worthy charity. Maybe you could start the Donald Pete Foundation which will
keep my husband name alive.


I have enclosed for you the Current Photograph I took below Because relatives and
friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the
agony entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.


Be rest assured that I will sign the necessary Probate Documents to make you the
beneficiary. I will also ask a friend, hospital, attendant, Mr. Makolo to discuss with
you since I can no longer talk or lost my vocal system to give you the details
and bank where the money was deposited to avoid delay in transferring the money
to you now that I am still alive.


As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the security
company in South Africa/ Germany and I will send authority letter that will
prove you the present beneficiary of the money in the finance company that
is if you assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein

1. Your Full Names
2. Your contact Address
3. Your Age
4. Your Marital Status
5. Your Occupation
6. Your Mobile Numbers and
7. Your Home Phone


Feel free to call Mr. Makolo and ask any question regarding this transaction.


I am waiting for your response.please reply in my privat mail add via
(madam_pete@yahoo.cn)

Be Bless as you reply positively,
Remain Blessed,
Mrs M. Pete



Here is my response:


Mrs. Pete,

I am of wanting to be servicable to your estate! Being of God-fearing Christianess, I am quite qualified to aid you and the enormous amount that you are currently having in your posession.

Glad I am to see that your research has led you to me! I have worked long and hard into all hours of the night and day to get my good and respectable name out to the research sites for just such an occasion as this one. When I was of a young age (perhaps the age of a boy) I was told by my mother who imparted advice that only a mother could give that I would be perfect at spending a rich person's money on selfless things.

Most importantly, I assure you that as a person in extreme fear of God, I will use your fortune to help BOTH orphaned children and homeless babies. I will do my best to ensure that no children will ever be orphaned, nor any babies go homeless. The very thought of a baby panhandling for money to buy a bottle of cheap alcohol is a thought that can send shivers up my spine and make my heart break and weep for pain.

Excitement is filling me up as we speak at the prospect and idea of this venture you have tasked me into having! Seeing as how you are without vocal systems, is there anyway I can speak with Mr. Makolo in regards to these matters? I have some quandries and questions regarding which bank account I should have the money transferred to.

I know that times are dark and of frightening natures, but I do believe that your cancers will be better in time! If not, then you can be assuredly rested in believing that I will be a champion to the world in your name. I wish to start the Donald and M Pete Foundation for Saving Orphaned Children and Homeless Babies in your honors! We shall have a feast to celebrate your live!

Contact me as soon as possible as I have HIV and do not know how much longer I may be able to assist you.


Be Bless as you reply in a manner that is most positive toward my wants,
Remain blessed,
Continue remaining blessed for all your days.
One more blessing to grow on.

-Mrs. M. Jo Risen.

[Setherick]

I was kind of hoping you'd do Ernie Hudson and claim to have Hep-C.

[Wooberman]

Not long ago I got one of these e-mails and decided to reply.

It goes as follows -

Date: Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:53:04 -0800
From: inf0123y2355@live.co.za
Subject: From Mr. Karium Amadou
To:

From Mr. Karium Amadou
Hello Friend, I am Mr. Karium Amadou , the director of account/audit department in the Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina Faso, West Africa . I got your contact from a Yahoo Tourist Search When I was searching for a foreign partner. I assured of your capability and reliability to champion this business opportunity when I prayed to the Almighty about you. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $22,000.000.00 million US Dollars  in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer Mr. Alan Williams, A British National who died along with his entire family in (20 Oct 2005) in a plane crash. As followed in this link http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/tanzania/1501084/Tycoon-dies-with-family-in-Tanzania-safari-plane-crash.html

Since I got the information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill. The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after five years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund.

The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and I cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner since I am from this country. I agree to offer you 45% of the total sum as foreign partner in respect to the provision of an account, 55% will be for me while we aboth will take care of the expenses incur during process of the transfer.

There after I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where the money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by email the text of the application which you fill and send to our bank. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

You have to keep everything secret as to enable the transfer to move very smoothly into the account you will provide to the bank. Don't hesitate to furnish me with your private telephone for easy and effective communication. Also send me your personal information as followed ,

THIS MY PRIVATE EMAIL karium_amadou@sify.com
(1) Your full names
(2) Your age and occupation
(3) Your nationality
(4) Your private telephones for easy communication
(5) A copy of your international passport or recent photo for me to know you in person.

Below is my residential address and email contact.
Siege social: 01BP 452001 Ouaga 01, Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.
Anxiously waiting for your urgent response
Thanks and God bless.
Mr. KARIUM AMADOU

My reply, Its nowhere as imaginative as Cody's but I wanted to be honest.


Dear Mr Amadou
 
I have to ask, Has this approach ever actually worked?
Seriously I ask because I'm very interested. Not only do you ask for a leap of faith to obtain every piece of information you need to successfully steal someone's identity but you start with the incredibly unbelievable sum of 22,000,000,00 Million US Dollars. Are you aware that this sum would be sufficient to buy approx five tenths of the worlds landmass?
 
I await your reply

Yours
Wooberman

[Tadanori Oyama]

Makes me want to look up the old This American Life episode where they interviewed a group of hackers who Pished a Pisher.

[Boyos]

You guys are so lucky. I never even got the one from the prince. I got 2 during mass effect 2 and 1 penis enlargment.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I got 2 during mass effect 2 and 1 penis enlargment.

I'm happy for you but don't change the subject. We're talking about e-mails here, not people's body mods.

[clockworkjoe]

http://www.419eater.com/

[Sean-o-tron]

This kind of crap sickens me.  Good for you for baiting, Cody.  Be sure to tell us if anything happens next.

[rayner23]

My response will follow soon.


Dear Mrs. M. Jo Risen.


I received your mail. I quite appreciate your
readiness, kindness and willingness to assist me
accomplish my very last wishes in this world.
I have deliberated on it and agreed to commence
transaction with you without any reservation.


I assure you that this transaction is risk free and
it will not cause us any pains and problem if and
only if you act strictly as instructed and also let
this transaction remain as secret as possible.


Before we commence, I will want you to answer the
following questions carefully:


(1). Will you be able to travel to Hamburg-Germany/
Amesterdam-Nederlands to receive the funds from the
security company and when if yes?
Alternatively, will you be able to handle this financial
transaction online with my paying bank in Europe?


(2). Do you have any proposal to distribute this funds
to the less privilege? and



I am very close to the point of death now, so please
do not let me down. You have to understand due to the
present situation I am now, I will not be able to foot
any bill regarding this transaction. So, you shall be
reimburse every expenses incurred in due course of this
transaction. Please answer the questions above so that
I can commence this transaction on time. I will send to
you all the relevant documents relating to this transaction
and the contact details of Finance/ Security company.


I cannot use any of my business associates because
all my past dealings are being scrutinized by secret
agents in a bid to source out our estates and
properties. So in the process of this exercise,
anyone I’ve had dealings with in the past is being
monitored too. I’m presently on a sick bed and the
only means of communicating for now is via the
internet, so I had to source for help the only
way I could, I would rather take chances by involving
a total stranger rather than risking it all by using
any of my business associates who might be willing to
help.


I am presently in South Africa awaiting a major surgical
operation in few days time, so I beg of you to do
everything in Godly way and always remember to pray for
me.


Please, you have to keep this transaction very
confidential due to the composition of my husband
family, I do not want any member of our family to
jump on the funds to use it for immaterial things.
You can keep 15% to yourself and distributed the
remaining balance of 10,000,000.00 Pound Sterling to
the less privilege in good faith.


Endeavour to send/ reconfirm the following details below:

Your full names:
Your address:
Cell number:
Home Phone:
Occupation:
Age:

So that, I will ask Mr. Macolo to look for an attorney
here to change the beneficiary from my names to yours.
This will enable me refer you for immediate release and
payment.


Here is my confidant, Mr. Makolo, contact details below:

Contact Name:    Macolo Massalah
Tel:             +27 833418314
Email:           makolo@netzero.net
                 makolo.massalah@bluetie.com
                 makolo@att.net


You are to contact Mr. Macolo with the requested
information above and this will enable him prepare a
letter of Introduction in your names and send you
the relevant documents email before the major surgical
operation. This is very important.


Feel free to ask Mr. Macolo any question regarding this
transaction.


I await your immediate response.


Remain blessed
Mrs. Mary Pete.

[Wooberman]

Just recieved a reply from my scammer, it seems ignorance is the chosen strategy...

Dear Woo,

How are you today? hope fine,i have not heard from you for some couples of days now after indicating your willingness to assist me on transfering this fund into your account,i have waited patiently for your mail but no reply so i decided to inform you to know if you are still willing to assist me further or not.Please if you are no longer willing to proceed kindly inform me so as to enable me look for another assistance because i have written to you severally but i did not recieve any answer from you.
 
i need your urgent reply to enable me know your mind so as to enable me know if you are still interested or not.

waiting for your urgent reply
KARIUM AMADOU