Author Topic: What if the zombie apocalypse never comes?  (Read 5368 times)

ristarr

  • I dream in graph paper lines
  • ****
  • Posts: 256
    • View Profile
    • Underwater Blues
What if the zombie apocalypse never comes?
« on: February 24, 2010, 10:40:15 PM »
I have spent all this time preparing for these types of earthshaking events and what if they never happen? 

I know what actions to take against slow zombies, fast zombies and even those rabid fuckers from Quarantine ( actually, against them I would just give up ).
I have studied and can recognize the signs of a pod people invasion. 
I know to sneeze on the things with the prehensile eye stalks from Mars and to throw nukes behind my ship to destroy the elephant aliens. 
I can infect motherships with viruses from my Macbook.
I know Frankenstein doesn't like fire.
I have spent many years learning esoteric lore about vampires and werewolves that will render them vulnerable to my assaults.  ( no, they only fucking sparkle in hollywood ).
And don't get me started on all the fantasy creatures I have studied, never thinking of encountering them, but just in case!

What if it never happens?  Have all these skills been learned in vain?

Setherick

  • Administrator
  • Cosmic Horror: 1d10/1d100 SAN loss
  • *****
  • Posts: 2583
  • Economies of Scale
    • View Profile
Re: What if the zombie apocalypse never comes?
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2010, 10:41:57 PM »
I have spent all this time preparing for these types of earthshaking events and what if they never happen? 

I know what actions to take against slow zombies, fast zombies and even those rabid fuckers from Quarantine ( actually, against them I would just give up ).
I have studied and can recognize the signs of a pod people invasion. 
I know to sneeze on the things with the prehensile eye stalks from Mars and to throw nukes behind my ship to destroy the elephant aliens. 
I can infect motherships with viruses from my Macbook.
I know Frankenstein doesn't like fire.
I have spent many years learning esoteric lore about vampires and werewolves that will render them vulnerable to my assaults.  ( no, they only fucking sparkle in hollywood ).
And don't get me started on all the fantasy creatures I have studied, never thinking of encountering them, but just in case!

What if it never happens?  Have all these skills been learned in vain?


In all seriousness, zombies are used for everything from ethical debates on the nature of man to bioterrorism training simulations to epidemiology studies.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Kroack

  • I walk between the rain drops, tommy gun and katana in hand
  • *****
  • Posts: 1153
    • View Profile
Re: What if the zombie apocalypse never comes?
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2010, 11:16:53 PM »
All of the world's problems can be solved from the study of zombies. In fact, a new documentary about zombies has recently come to my attention.

http://www.zombiesoftheworld.com

Mckma

  • President of the Apparatus of Kwalish fan club
  • *****
  • Posts: 1538
  • Sometimes Murphy's Law needs to be enforced
    • View Profile
Re: What if the zombie apocalypse never comes?
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2010, 11:18:25 PM »
All of the world's problems can be solved from the study of zombies. In fact, a new documentary about zombies has recently come to my attention.

http://www.zombiesoftheworld.com


I eagerly await the first installment.  I would also like to point out that I have high expectations and want to put as much stress on Ross as possible (although I doubt he cares).

Order66

  • Guest
Re: What if the zombie apocalypse never comes?
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2010, 11:19:42 PM »
I have spent all this time preparing for these types of earthshaking events and what if they never happen? 

I know what actions to take against slow zombies, fast zombies and even those rabid fuckers from Quarantine ( actually, against them I would just give up ).
I have studied and can recognize the signs of a pod people invasion. 
I know to sneeze on the things with the prehensile eye stalks from Mars and to throw nukes behind my ship to destroy the elephant aliens. 
I can infect motherships with viruses from my Macbook.
I know Frankenstein doesn't like fire.
I have spent many years learning esoteric lore about vampires and werewolves that will render them vulnerable to my assaults.  ( no, they only fucking sparkle in hollywood ).
And don't get me started on all the fantasy creatures I have studied, never thinking of encountering them, but just in case!

What if it never happens?  Have all these skills been learned in vain?


how could you say such a thing?