The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[Arje]

Granted but it's so tiny you can't fit inside of it.

I wish i wasn't sick as hell.

[Dawnsteel]

I wish i wasn't sick as hell.

Granted.  Now you are merely purgin' like Purgatory.

I wish I didn't have insomnia.

[Shallazar]

Granted but you have to pee every twenty minutes and there is nothing but infomercials on TV.

I wish I was Tom.

[Setherick]

I wish I was Tom.

Granted, you are now Tom. (If you knew Tom like I knew Tom you would know how this is ironically funny.)

I wish my students were better writers.

[clockworkjoe]

I wish I was Tom.

Granted, you are now Tom. (If you knew Tom like I knew Tom you would know how this is ironically funny.)

I wish my students were better writers.

granted, your students all write best selling books making you to be a child molesting neo-nazi cult leader and everyone believes it because of how well they are written

I wish I was given a 100 million dollar budget and unlimited time to make whatever movie I want

[Setherick]

I wish I was given a 100 million dollar budget and unlimited time to make whatever movie I want

Granted, but the post-production team turns your movie into Home Alone 5 using a CGI version of Macullay Coioidgaolktehat, putting you 300 million over budget.

I wish I could sleep more than five hours a night.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I could sleep more than five hours a night.

Granted, you now sleep 6 hours a night beginning at 7pm. You are asleep then awake in alternating one minute intervals until 7am.

I wish Ross was running more con games so I could book a solid space.

[acronomicon]

I wish Ross was running more con games so I could book a solid space.

Granted, but the only game you can get in on is Rifts, and the rest of the players are staying to their Ren-faire preferences by bathing once every few months...and this isn't their month.

I wish I had one of those nifty engineer bags everybody is talking about.

[Setherick]

I wish I had one of those nifty engineer bags everybody is talking about.

Granted, except you find yourself in the Army Corp of Engineers and the year is 1934.

I wish that I could get someone to teach my class for me today.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted...it was Tom. And hoooo-boy, did they learn well.

I wish I had a cool group to play my new Call of Cthulhu rulebook purchase with.

[Shallazar]

Wish granted...it was Tom. And hoooo-boy, did they learn well.

I wish I had a cool group to play my new Call of Cthulhu rulebook purchase with.

It wasn't just any Tom, it was me.

As for Granting Beowulf's wish, KAZAAM! It shall be done!

But your group is soo cool that soon they find themselves in need of a cool Keeper.

I wish I was in happy land.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I was in happy land.

Granted, due to a time warp you find yourself in Happy Land.

I wish I could go on my lunch break.

[Setherick]

I wish I could go on my lunch break.

Granted, but the only thing the cafeteria is serving is this.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.

[Tadanori Oyama]

Granted, but the only thing the cafeteria is serving is this.

Joke's on them: my family came over from Denmark.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.

Granted, your name is now Oscar and you for work Meyer Weiner.

I wish the was an "i" in "team".

[beowuuf]

Wish granted, now it's looking at you funnily....

I wish there was 'me' in 'team'