The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[Dawnsteel]

"I can haz cheezeburger?"

Granted. Since I assume you are a cat, your cheeseburger gives you the mange.

I wish I'd remembered to buy more Sriracha at the grocery store.

[clockworkjoe]

Granted. You only bought Sriracha at the grocery store. Gallons and gallons of it.

I wish FTL space travel was possible and achievable in our lifetime

[Dawnsteel]

I wish FTL space travel was possible and achievable in our lifetime

Granted. You get boarded, killed, and eaten by mantises.

I wish I'd started doing laundry earlier tonight.

[Gorkamorka]

I wish I'd started doing laundry earlier tonight.

Granted.  You just finished.
I wish I could travel forward in time.

[clockworkjoe]

I wish I'd started doing laundry earlier tonight.

Granted.  You just finished.
I wish I could travel forward in time.

Granted! You can now travel 1.0001 seconds into the the future for every 1 second. This happens automatically and you cannot stop. You will gradually fall out of sync with the rest of the universe.

I wish I had more energy to work on projects.

[Review Cultist]

Granted, you are struck by lightning.

I wish I had an idea for writing a good "Call of Duty" creepypasta.

[crash2455]

Granted, but you can only get the idea by playing every call of duty game.

I wish I had more time every day.

[SageNytell]

Congratulations, you're in a stable time loop ala Groundhog Day. Nothing has any consequences so you can work on whatever you want but you'll never accomplish anything lasting.

I wish I knew what to do about my current romantic situation. 

[Dom]

I wish I knew what to do about my current romantic situation. 

Granted, you now know exactly what to do about your current romantic situation. Take a 1d6/1d20 SAN loss.


I wish I hadn't spent all my money in the Steam Summer Sale.

[Gorkamorka]

Granted.
You spent it on hookers and blow.

I wish I had a +5 vorpal holy avenger.

[FuzzyDan]

I wish I had a +5 vorpal holy avenger.

Granted, you have two in place of your hands, and your head is itchy.

I wish I could work less than 60 hours a week.

[clockworkjoe]

I wish I had a +5 vorpal holy avenger.

Granted, you have two in place of your hands, and your head is itchy.

I wish I could work less than 60 hours a week.

Granted, you now work between 5 and 10 hours a week at Hobby Lobby.

I wish Hollywood would option Base Raiders and pay me a million dollars for it.

[Salkovich]

Granted, you now work between 5 and 10 hours a week at Hobby Lobby.

I wish Hollywood would option Base Raiders and pay me a million dollars for it.

You got it! They hire M. Night Shamwow to direct and Shia LeBouf to star.

I wish I had a computer that wasn't completely terrible.

[Teuthic]

Granted! It achieves sentience and erases your mind.

I wish I could find an affordable apartment.

[crash2455]

Granted! It achieves sentience and erases your mind.

I wish I could find an affordable apartment.

Granted.  None of the windows open and it predates gas heating.

I wish I could find artists who didn't bail on me.