Okay, mission accomplished.
The main villain showed up, delivered his character out of the afterlife, and I made them fight REALISTICALLY. Then he was deemed wimpy and the villain left him alone. He was then teleported (by this point I was desperate to annoy him) into a city of females (where the board had been nailed).
Long story short, his magic failed, the main villain appeared, insinuated that he had hemorrhages in his brain, and let the character's basic insanity deal with his own backstory and such.
He killed himself.
At that point, I told him that I wanted that to happen becase he was so broken that the game required rules. He walked away while I told him that he would be making a new character by MY rules this time.
I have to say, that was pretty unfair, and made zero sense, and I have a feeling that I've upset ISE, but at least I can get the game under control...