Author Topic: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game  (Read 105922 times)

Setherick

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To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« on: June 23, 2010, 04:44:03 PM »
It's just a normal day in the kingdom, in your first post describe what your character was doing the moment before your god came and grated you your gift and what you immediately do after.

---

Normal posting decorum applies. Make your post look as close this as possible.

Character Name


In character text.

Epic Skill
Rolling 1d20+200:
(4)+200: Total = 204


Out of character text.

"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

ugnis13

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2010, 05:03:28 PM »
[Anonymous/b]

Anonymous is doggedly doing the task assigned to him for the rest of his life, simply mining salt from the bottomless salt pits. After receiving such a wonderful gift from a God he had never believed in, Anonymous immediately begins climbing up out of the Salt Mine.

Climb
<img src="http://slangdesign.com/forums/Themes/default/images/dice.gif" alt="" />Rolling 1d20: <div style="background-color: #919191;">(19): Total = 19 </div>+200

Setherick

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2010, 05:18:02 PM »
Anonymous begins scaling the wall with reckless abandon. The prison guards are so amazed it takes them a minute to react. By the time they do, Anonymous is out of crossbow shot.

Hooray! You're out of the salt mine. You probably have a few hours before there is a posse attempting to hunt you down.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Kroack

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2010, 07:29:15 PM »
Claude Frollo

Frollo's latest patient, a small child named Billy, was having some stomach problems. Obviously the only treatment for stomach pains is to apply leeches. Frollo is doing this when suddenly he has his encounter with a god.

After gaining his fabulous ability to counterfeit almost anything, Frollo decides to increase his weekly quota of leeches tenfold by forging the Chief Physician's signature on a medical form.

Forgery

Rolling 1d20+200:
(8)+200: Total = 208

Setherick

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2010, 07:45:42 PM »
The regional distributor of leeches is so impressed that they got a letter from the Chief Physician that they prepare a shipment of 100 pounds of leeches. They will arrive next week.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Vega Baby

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2010, 03:00:46 AM »
Gregory

Gregory was spending the day as he usually did, farming pigs.  He was fairly excited, as he had recently come up with a new recipe for the pig's slop, which he hoped would get him featured in the Pig Farmer Quarterly.  As the pigs began to eat his new concoction, he was surprised to feel a tap on his shoulder.  Turning around, he was shocked to see a short, gnomish looking fellow.  Being a lowly pig farmer, he had never seen a short, gnomish looking fellow in his simple, and likely to be brief, life.  Still, Gregory knew well enough that it was improper to not greet a guest, no matter how short, gnomish, and apparently sneaky they were.  He extended his hand for a proper and hearty handshake, only to feel a sharp, piercing pain shoot through his arm when the stranger clasped his hand.  Before he faded out of consciousness, he couldn't help but notice the stranger's wide grin...

When he awoke, night had already fallen, and he could hear a howl in the distance, he guessed of wolves.  Only one thought crossed his mind: HIDE THE PIGS!

Hide self:
<img src="http://slangdesign.com/forums/Themes/default/images/dice.gif" alt="" />Rolling 1d20+200: <div style="background-color: #919191;">(1)+200: Total = 201 </div>

Hide pigs:
:dice 1d20+200:

And, just for the heck of it, a Profession: Pig Farming check:
<img src="http://slangdesign.com/forums/Themes/default/images/dice.gif" alt="" />Rolling 1d20+4: <div style="background-color: #919191;">(14)+4: Total = 18 </div>

Setherick

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2010, 07:58:34 AM »
Gregory is one of the best pig farmers in the one mile radius of farming community that he's seen. He moves about his field positioning his pigs in such a way that they completely disappear. He's actually quite amused when he sees a wolf run into his field because he smells pig, only to be really confused when there is just empty land.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

ugnis13

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2010, 02:07:28 PM »
Anonymous

Anonymous runs as fast as he can, relishing this new freedom he has gained. Since he knows there will be people chasing him soon, he finds the tallest, most difficult thing to climb that he can find, and goes up that, since obviously mobs can't climb.
Spot
Rolling 1d20:
(13): Total = 13

Climb
Rolling 1d20+200:
(9)+200: Total = 209

Hide
Rolling 1d20+2:
(16)+2: Total = 18

Setherick

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2010, 08:43:34 PM »
Anonymous at first can't spot anything interesting, which is odd because he's standing at the base of Mt. Neverbeenclimbedandlivedtotellaboutit. He quickly starts up the mountain. It's a near sheer wall, but for Anonymous it's a leisurely strolled.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

ArtfulShrapnel

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2010, 01:08:31 PM »
Petero

Petero has spent his life toling in the tannery before finally being being allowed to apprentice as a cobbler. His master beats him horribly and makes him work with only the leather scraps, then blaming him for the poor quality of his shoes.

One day, having rolled a natural 20 on his Profession:Cobbler roll, he creates an amazingly fine pair of soft, surprisingly silent, and ratty looking leather shoes. As he puts the last nail in place a tall, swarthy fellow in black robes appears in his tiny workshop, and offers to buy them. When asked the price, Petero says he will sell them for "whatever you think is fair."

With a smile the man takes the shoes, shakes Petero's hand, and tells him "As payment, I offer you anything you can lay your hands on". Then, with the soft sound of rustling wings, he is gone.

Petero, disheartened that his shoes have been essentially stolen, walks dejectedly out into the street. A magnificent carriage carrying a visiting Baron passes by, all Petero can think is that he deserves to have the gold in the Baron's pouch for his magnificent shoes... before he realizes what he's doing...

sleight of hand check to take the noble's bag of gold
Rolling 1d20+200:
(19)+200: Total = 219


... he finds himself standing beside the carriage, attempting to take the baron's moneypurse, and several convenient rings from his fat fingers.

Setherick

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2010, 01:30:05 PM »
Petero makes with the swipity, swipe, swipe and ends up with the nobleman's purse. It has,

Rolling 1d20:
(8): Total = 8

Gold Pieces

Rolling 1d20:
(11): Total = 11

Silver Pieces

Rolling 1d20:
(6): Total = 6

Copper Pieces

Fortunately, the nobleman is so fat that it'll take him awhile to realize his purse is missing.

You'll have to roll again to go for the rings. But he'll notice it sooner.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

ArtfulShrapnel

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2010, 01:42:50 PM »
Petero

I already said I would do it, no fair turning back now!

Watching his actions as if from outside his body, Petero sees his other hand reach for a ring on the nobleman's finger. Even he has trouble seeing how exactly he gets the rings off...

Sleight of Hand to steal some rings off a fat nobleman's fingers
Rolling 1d20+200:
(15)+200: Total = 215


I will make a note here that Petero is not actually trying to hide what he's just stolen. He is too shocked at the fact he can even do it to plan that far ahead. I assume the carriage has guards?

Setherick

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2010, 02:45:53 PM »
Petero deftly removes the rings from the nobleman's hands.

You're skill is high enough for you to do it against another commoner, but let's see how long it takes him to notice. I'll say the nobleman is actually a level 1 aristocrat so he has a +4 to spot.

Spot
Rolling 1d20:
(6): Total = 6
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Setherick

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2010, 02:47:50 PM »
The nobleman orders his carriage drive to start driving away, they get about fifty feet when you hear him shout, "Hey. That bastard stole my rings and my purse. Go get him."

The driver stops the carriage and jumps down. He begins running your way.

Remember all of you started out as lvl 1 commoners so you're not exactly living in places where you'd run into people with a number of guards...yet.
"Something smart so that I can impress people I don't know." - Some Author I've Not Read

Kroack

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Re: To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2010, 02:52:15 PM »
Claude Frollo

Not having heard that his leaches will arrive in a week, Frollo walks up to a carriage on the street. The nobleman inside looks rather frustrated. Frollo asks, "Sir, would you happen to know anything about medical leaches?"

Diplomacy
Rolling 1d20:
(9): Total = 9