Terry Goodkind is terrible

[clockworkjoe]

I read one of the Sword of Truth books when I was 15. Even then, I knew it was terrible.

This is proof. http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.com/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html

# In one book, Goodkind creates a nation of pacifists (led by a small boy) as a strawman argument to display why Pacifism is Wrong. The pacifists stage a peaceful demostration to stop Richard from going to war; Richard slaughters the protestors, who are "armed only with their hatred for moral clarity." Richard also kills unarmed council members.

Jagang is the leader of the Imperial Order, who are the main bad guys. Their philosophy is a bastard mix of communism and Islam, where everyone has to serve the collective and will go to heaven if they die in battle (or somesuch). Goodkind spends several pages at a time detailing the atrocities committed by the IO, in case we were in any doubt about whether they were the bad guys. They also make captured enemies eat their own testicles. They enjoy eating the testicles of captured enemies; it is Kahlan who makes enemies eat their own testicles.**

[dragonshaos]

Hahahahaha, Wow!  Just going down the list I really have to ask myself what the hell that writer was thinking!  Those are really funny quotes from the book and the funny thing is I believe my friend just got into them and loves the series.  Wow, am I going to have alot of fun joking about it with him.

[Tadanori Oyama]

My brother has read some of those books. I never really saw the appeal and when he told me some about them I decided they weren't worth my time.

Didn't know any stuff about religion/political, I just didn't like Richard. He seemed like a real dick.

[clockworkjoe]

My brother has read some of those books. I never really saw the appeal and when he told me some about them I decided they weren't worth my time.

Didn't know any stuff about religion/political, I just didn't like Richard. He seemed like a real dick.

Yeah, he is a dick.

# Richard abandons his troops at one point because he doesn't think they are worthy of him.

# While being tortured by the enemy, Richard used his magic power to kick an (evil) 8-year-old girl in the jaw in a convoluted escape plot; the phrase used by Goodkind to describe this power is "Richard's thing rose up in him".

# Richard's latest battle tactics are simple - his army of D'Harans is too small to take on the huge enemy army, so instead he orders them to go to the enemy homeland and slaughter all the civilians, removing the ears of anyone who preaches the enemy faith. Because this is the only moral thing to do

# Richard eventually kills Drefan by ripping his spine out through his stomach. Despite this, he is still able to have one last go with a sword before expiring.*

[Tadanori Oyama]

Wow. Does he seem more heroic in context or something? It sounds like he's trying to create an anti-hero but I'm not seeing it.

The only story fragment I remember was that Richard disregards all riddles for some reason. Seemed like a very poor idea for any sort of commander or leader to completely ignore anything.

[clockworkjoe]

I don't know and I don't want to find out. Terry Goodkind is a serious Ayn Rand Objectivist and the central moral of the Sword of Truth series is that Capitalism rules and communism drools! Also, he fucking dedicated one of his books to the CIA. 4 Real.

[Tadanori Oyama]

Kind of like how in Tom Clancy novels all the brances of the military get along and don't fight about funding? And their intellegence is always reliable. And only the bleeding heart liberal politcal figure keep the heroes from saving the world before page 10.

[Maze]

I never got past the first three pages of one of his books. Didn't seem interesting.

I should have listened to my intuition about one of Anne Rice's book too when I stumbled upon that steaming pile of erotic bisexual vampire bullshit.

[clockworkjoe]

Kind of like how in Tom Clancy novels all the brances of the military get along and don't fight about funding? And their intellegence is always reliable. And only the bleeding heart liberal politcal figure keep the heroes from saving the world before page 10.

Not enough technology/weapon porn

"The president stroked his new rifle. The metal is rust blued, the stock is plain black, and the rifle weighs 9 pounds with scope. It’s chambered for the .404 Jeffrey, an old but highly useful cartridge that Hornady just brought back to life. The .404 fires a 400-grain bullet at 2,100 fps, so this is a dangerous-game rifle. It’s been to Africa twice, and has about 500 rounds through it. It is, you might say, nothing more than a highly worked-over Model 70. And this is true, in the sense that the car that Jeff Gordon drives is a highly worked-over Chevrolet."

[Phelanar]

Long ago, I read the first 2-3 books in the series and though they were okay. Nothing worth writing home about, but I didn't actively regret reading them either. But they nosedived really really fast and I'm so glad I stopped reading years ago. Not only are the books terrible, but Terry Goodkind himself has gone absolutely batshit insane and is a complete jackass to boot.

[rayner23]

I'm going to teach a Sci-fi/fantasy class next year and I asked for suggestions from other English majors on facebook and some bitch said "Terry Goodkind" and I wanted to choke her out.

Funny story about that girl:

She is uber-Christian and she was in the computer lab with this other uber-Christian girl and they were talking relationships.

Girl 1: So, my boyfriend just broke up with me.
Girl 2: I'm sorry to hear that! What happened?
Girl 1: He said that God told him that he shouldn't be in a relationship right now.
Girl 2: Don't you hate it when that happens?

I wanted to turn and ask, "This has happened before?!" but managed to sit and seethe my rage.

Not sure what that has to do with books/gaming, but anyway . . .

[clockworkjoe]

hahaha that's great. "It's not you, it's God."

[Tadanori Oyama]

One would think that just about any line beginning with "God told me..." would be a red flag.

[Maze]

One would think that just about any line beginning with "God told me..." would be a red flag.

I second that thought.

None the less, God, as an excuse, might come in handy at later times. I'll remember that.

[rayner23]

I think that Locke would use that excuse.

"Listen baby, I care about you, but the Raven Queen tells me that I just shouldn't be in a relationship right now."