First off, thanks for the reply Ross! I apologize if the tone of my own was dickish, but its been bugging me every time I listen to the AP. You guys go from wonderfully imaginative fun dudes in every other situation to (seemingly) bored automatons in the D&D combats - and I don't think it has to be that way. Do I have a magical solution? No, unfortunately, I don't. Should I shut up and let you guys play the way you want to? Yes.
But the internet is not a place for wisdom. Its a place for half-assed theories and bad advice!
To respond to your points, I totally agree that adding more crunch to an already crunchy game system would NOT help. I'm running a Paragon D&D campaign with four players, and three of those players can't remember half of their powers or abilities when we can get together to play. As DM, I try to keep more up to date and accurate - yet even with a lot of prep I regularly make bonehead mistakes when it comes to rules decisions, overlook monster powers, and lose track of all those ever mounting conditions/marks/etc. I certainly can't claim mastery of the rules or house rules that make it run as simply as, say, CoC. That just isn't happening.
But that's not what I'm suggesting.
What I trying to say is - don't look on action scenes as a chore. Don't present them as one. Your lack of enthusiasm for them as DM sounds like its contagious, and that's a shame given that they are basically another type of Spotlight Time for your party and your shared story. Yes, combat in D&D can be full of rules discussions, page citations, and the panicked realization that you don't know what you're doing by rote. But it also can be a centerpiece of your session on par with Cody's evangelical sermon to Carrington (okay, maybe not THAT awesome, but still...).
The players cue off of your presentation (even if they're making dick jokes at your expense) in everything. If you give them a colorful NPC with a funny accent, they're going to react and want to DO things with/to the guy. If you give them a dramatic description of some awe-inspiring or horrific battle seen from a distance, they'll also react and offer descriptions of what their PCs feel about it. And I'd argue that if you give them a vivid sense of a life-and-death struggle with a bunch of monsters, they'll bounce back at you with reactions and cues you can feed off as well.
It doesn't have to be you announcing "ALWAYS DESCRIBE HOW YOU KILL THE MINION". As Joven points out, there's just only so many times you can talk about swinging an axe before it gets to be a draggity drag. What I'm saying, though, is in the introduction of a combat and at critical points throughout, spicing things up with a little description, dialog or color is a good thing. Its also not something that has to be the sole responsibility of the DM; he's just the guy who initiates it, because he's the guy who provides the cue and context. Once you have a bad guy do something more than "he gets a 25" each round, chances are at least one player will pick up on this as an opening to offer their own spicy magic funny bonus narration.
You'd be surprised how satisfying it is to hear once every couple of rounds that "your scimitar sprays green goblin blood across the wall". Does it directly impact the rules or numerical outcome? Nope. Does it require you to have a ton of notes with prepared gory details? Nope. I've heard you improvise MUCH more elaborate things off the top of your head in AP (take for example Carrington's awesomely overwrought language in the aforementioned scene with Cody making like a preacher). Theoretically, you could have just said "Carrington listens and seems convinced", after all. But what fun is that? The fun IS the detail, a lot of the time, even if its just a little snippet you toss out once in a while.
Anyways, apologies again if I came off as a self-appointed asshole. I just think you and your players could find a lot more enjoyment when bashing heads if there's an occasional flourish and sense of how it looks/feels/smells.