The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[Selks]

Wish Granted!  You can now regenerate, but only whilst around small children.  After hanging around schools for 3 months you are arrested and given a life sentence.

I wish we Brits knew how to run an election.

[Dogfish]

Wish Granted!  You can now regenerate, but only whilst around small children.  After hanging around schools for 3 months you are arrested and given a life sentence.

I wish we Brits knew how to run an election.

Granted the tories get in. You bastard.

I wish this seimester was over already,

[malyss]

I wish the UK didn't have a hung parliament.

Sorry, I had to come back to this one...

Granted, they all are now little pricks.

I wish I could duplicate myself so that some form of me could actually do everything I want to do.

[Boyos]

Granted, but during the process only your sexual drive has passed over to your clone you no longer want or think about sex, your clone is realy horney and now runs around your town being very dirty in all ways posible destroying your reputation. Now that you dont have to worry about sex (as we all know men spend around 60% of there day thinking about) you have plenty of time to do the things you want, your clone is great at avoiding the law! a trate he recomends you pick up due to his dirty dirty dirty life he leads for you.


I wish I could travel the stars.

[JonHook]

I wish I could travel the stars.

Granted! Unfortunately, you do so in an urn after you're dead and cremated. Say "Hi" to Gene Roddenberry.


I wish Ross & Tom were my friends.

[Setherick]

I wish I could travel the stars.

Granted! Unfortunately, you do so in an urn after you're dead and cremated. Say "Hi" to Gene Roddenberry.


I wish Ross & Tom were my friends.

Granted, I'd explain the horribleness of this situation, but I don't want to tarnish Ross & Tom's reputation.

I wish my dissertation would write itself, so I could concentrate on the Codex.

[acronomicon]

Granted, I'd explain the horribleness of this situation, but I don't want to tarnish Ross & Tom's reputation.

I wish my dissertation would write itself, so I could concentrate on the Codex.

Granted, but your dissertation relies on Wikipedia and the Internet for all the information and fails to make any attempt to reword itself to avoid blatant plagiarism.  Oddly, though, that doesn't cause any problems as people are amazed your dissertation achieved sentience.  Once it's found out, the first thing it does is rat you out for not doing your own work.

I wish that food that tasted good was also good for you.

[Boyos]

I wish I could travel the stars.

Granted! Unfortunately, you do so in an urn after you're dead and cremated. Say "Hi" to Gene Roddenberry.


I wish Ross & Tom were my friends.

Thats not so bad, I will say hi.

I wish that food that tasted good was also good for you.

Granted! Now hold still while I fry off your taste buds and give you a perment sinus infection! Gratz now all food tast just the same! eat the healthy stuff its good for you.

I wish my car was red.

[Dogfish]

Granted, sadly the only method you have of applying this paint is with your own blood. It'll need several coats and fast! Looks like its about to rain.

I wish I could find a way to concentrate on these articles a little longer.

[Boyos]

Granted! Welcom to project Clock Work Orange, here sit in this chair, well have you focused on these TV screens that will have all the things you need to concentrate on, Have fun!

I wish it wasent about to rain on my new paint job!

[beowuuf]

Wish granted! It's a beautiful blue sky, the sun is shining, the occasional light fluffy cloud dances across before dissolving like candy floss, birds and chirping happily and circling around your car with filled digestive tracts...

I'll leave the rest to your imagination.


I wish I could see Boyos's new white/green organic paint job on his car.

[acronomicon]

I wish I could see Boyos's new white/green organic paint job on his car.

Granted!  You're going to experience the joy of seeing the new paint job drop by drop as you're trapped inside his car for days in record heat with just enough water to keep you alive.  Of course, since the windows won't roll down, the inside is going to get just as bad as the outside quickly.

I wish I could kick the MMORPG habit for good, EQ2 is downloading as I write this.

[Boyos]

Granted, everytime you touch an electronic device capeable of playing any MMO, it instantly explodes.

(Might I add my orginal PC could run Everquest 1 an old windows 95 machine, my phone is 3 times as powerfull then that old machine. have fun touching things.)

I wish I had the time to watch beowuuf enjoy his time in my car by him self.

[FuzzyDan]

I wish I had the time to watch beowuuf enjoy his time in my car by him self.

Granted.  You are in the next car over, similarly trapped but with only 3/4 as much water, a pant leg full of sand, and a vague Idea that maybe, just maybe, the sand can filter your urine.

I wish I don't spend much time unemployed once I move to San Diego.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted! You are gainfully employed by Boyos to create a urine purifying sand-based filter. Unfortunately, it only works well enough for Boyos to start making a will, and he does not get around to finishing it and bequeathing you the money for your efforts. Also, crapping birds are apparently not good legal witnesses (due to lack of pen holding ability)


I wish I had more sleep last night.