The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[beowuuf]

Wish granted, you decide to wish for the necronomicon. A djinn with tinitus instead gives you a questionable new convention to host a few games in.

I wish I had a monkey's paw backscratcher.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I had a monkey's paw backscratcher.

Granted, but the backscratcher is a factory reject made from monkey ears so it is not very effective. However it can listen to (though not grant) wishes.

I wish my shoe laces would stop coming untied so often.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted, unfortunately they are being used to tie Order66's newly hot girlfriend to a furry, because she is also now inappropriately kinky. You ain't getting them back anytime soon.


I wish my new backscratcher would stop looking at me funnily with its mismatched ears.

[Dawnsteel]

I wish my new backscratcher would stop looking at me funnily with its mismatched ears.

Granted.  It is now looking at you funnily with mismatched eyes, as you might expect.

I wish I didn't have to make dinner tonight.

[acronomicon]

I wish I didn't have to make dinner tonight.

Granted...you have to make dinner every other night except tonight.  Until you die...then it's non-stop dinner cooking IN HELL!

I wish people would control their kids in public.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish people would control their kids in public.

Granted, as the child soldiers conquer your town you realize the error in your judgement.

I wish dogs could see full color.

[Melvar]

I wish dogs could see full color.

Granted.  Black, white and the full grey scale between are a very nice collection of an infinite number of colors.

I wish my pizza I ordered wasn't messed up.  I mean, who likes a cheese pizza?!

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish my pizza I ordered wasn't messed up.  I mean, who likes a cheese pizza?!

Granted, your pizza is exactly as ordered with the slight problem that none of the elements have been conditioned for use on the pizza. The peppers are on the vine, the assorted meats are still alive, and the mushrooms are affixed to the top of the inside of the box.

I wish I'd been able to have my Exalted group meet last night instead of having dinner with my fiance's family.

[Arje]

Granted, but instead your exalted group met at your fiancé's family dinner. Impressions were made.)

I wish that Melvar knew how to spell his own name. Sulu has done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar.

(ninjaedit. rrrs are llls.)

[Wooberman]

Granted, but instead your exalted group met at your fiancé's family dinner. Impressions were made.)

I wish that Melvar knew how to spell his own name. Sulu has done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar.

(ninjaedit. rrrs are llls.)

Granted, He can now spell his own name but only in wingdings.

I wish my wife wasn't so broody

[beowuuf]

Wish granted. She buys cats. Lots of cats. You like cats, right? Thouands of cats? Long story short - you sleep in the garage now. The garage of your best friend.


I wish I wasn't working this weekend, and was doing something with a sane amount of cats.

[Dawnsteel]

I wish I wasn't working this weekend, and was doing something with a sane amount of cats.

Granted, you are no longer working this weekend.  Instead, you'll spend your newly-found free time surgically grafting your two cats together.

I wish that volcano in Iceland would stop erupting.

[Boyos]

Granted, but now all the magma in the earth core has stoped moving and your gonna have to build a train to drive to the center of the earth explode it and make the lava work again, the fate of the world is only in your hands FIX IT!!!!!!!

I wish my headphones were not broken.

[Wooberman]

Granted, Your wishes are the first three things you blurt out... you also have tourettes.

I wish for my knee to stop hurting

[malyss]

I wish someone would make a good D&D movie.

never gona happen

I wish I had used a condom

Granted, but it's odd you wanted one for masturbating in the first place...

I wish your dad had used a condom.