The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[Setherick]

I wish the applications at my office would stop making war on one another.

Granted, however, the Leviathan applications is now trying to take over all computer systems in a Lawnmower Man meets Skynet conspiracy. Thanks!

I wish I had more doughnuts without having to make them myself.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I had more doughnuts without having to make them myself.

Granted, you discover a donut delivery website with instant door to door service. However, the company sells your identity to foreign hostile agents who use you as certification on their misinformation and your professional cred. in Eastern Europe is shot to crap.

I wish my pocket could fit my cellphone, work knife, and flash drives comfortably.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted, anything beside your pocket that might be taking up valuable neighbouring space has been removed. Welcome to the world of high-pitched singing and easily carried nick-nacks.


I wish for infinite wisdom, that I might aid the world ... and more importantly make smart bets on the horses.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish for infinite wisdom, that I might aid the world ... and more importantly make smart bets on the horses.

Granted, in your infinite wisdom you judge wagering on horses to be wrong and vow not to use your powers for such purposes again. You also learn that neither baseball bats and nor Italians take kindly to "mooks wit' infinit' wisdom".

I wish I had a pair of pants that didn't need a zipper or buttons, but rather operated using tiny yet powerful magetic technology.

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

I wish for infinite wisdom, that I might aid the world ... and more importantly make smart bets on the horses.

Granted, in your infinite wisdom you judge wagering on horses to be wrong and vow not to use your powers for such purposes again. You also learn that neither baseball bats and nor Italians take kindly to "mooks wit' infinit' wisdom".

I wish I had a pair of pants that didn't need a zipper or buttons, but rather operated using tiny yet powerful magetic technology.

Granted, but if you thought getting your junk caught in your zipper was bad, you are in for a surprise.

I wish I had some Mountain Dew.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I wish I had some Mountain Dew.

Granted, enjoy your appalachian precipitation, by which I mean water collected off of leaves.

I wish I had some new eye glasses.

[Setherick]

I wish I had some new eye glasses.

Granted, here is your selection modeled by Al Bundy.

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I wish my cat wouldn't freak out when it rained.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted, your cat now has a katana and a tommy gun. Remember the good old days when the worst thing you found on your doorstep was a dead bird?


I wish I could figure out a good place for my inspector to sit her recertification so I can do work normally today.

[Setherick]

I wish I could figure out a good place for my inspector to sit her recertification so I can do work normally today.

Granted, unfortunately since I just got around to granting this wish, you'll have to go back and relive Friday, but then skip the weekend and wake up on Monday.

I wish I could have slept more this weekend.

[Boyos]

Granted, you get some extra sleep... you awaken to a news camra crew declaring you the real life Rip Van Winkle! Congratz its now been 20 years!

I wish I had a non-evil robot to do my job.

[Mckma]

Granted, you get some extra sleep... you awaken to a news camra crew declaring you the real life Rip Van Winkle! Congratz its now been 20 years!

I wish I had a non-evil robot to do my job.

Granted, he does it so well they fire you and hire him.

I wish I had written my two essays last week instead of waiting until this week....

[Boyos]

Yay! And since the robot is so nice, hes gonna give me his pay!

Granted! your two essays were written last week, during a time you dont quite rember, when you turn them in, the teacher may ask you why its written... what is it written in? Then you must explain its sumerian... wait you dont know sumerian... strange.

I wish I could controll my TV with my Mind!

[Dogfish]

Granted, but being a man you think about sex every 7 seconds and it changes to porn you automatically pay subscription for each time. Shame the wish kicks in when the parents are popping over.

I wish I could format my CoC one-off ideas in a way they could be written down decently.

[beowuuf]

Wish granted, you manage to compose a masterpiece. Then your wife discovers your 'All san rolls and all fails makes players Cthulhu's bitch' manuscript, and you are forced to hunt her and your son down with an axe. And freeze to death. And something about a picture behind the bar. I think I'm mistaking this wish for an episode of Happy Days actually


I wish I had faith of the heart, to go where my heart would take me, and also faith to believe I could do anything.

[Boyos]

Granted! You now have faith to do anything! you better start-a-praying cause your on a 300 foot high bridge and your hearts telling you, you can easly glide/fly down to the bottem!

I wish the porn on my TV was free!