To Save A Kingdom? A Farcical D&D Game

[Setherick]

The nobleman turns to Claude and spits out, "I'll get you all the leeches you want, if you get my purse back for me. He has it."

The nobleman points at Petero.

[Kroack]

Frollo

Frollo salutes clumsily and runs towards Petero, taking a surgical knife prom his pocket, and throwing it at the shoemaker's legs.

Attack?
Rolling 1d20:

(13): Total = 13

[Kroack]

*from

[Mckma]

Anton

Anton sits weaving his baskets like every other day.  He has done it all his life and thus has learned how to weave without actually looking at it, leaving him time to read.  A lot.  He has read almost every book in the small town and thus has grabbed a random book from a passing caravan.  He opens it, and much to his dismay finds it is written in a language and strange symbols he cannot understand.  Not even with his expanded education covering Orc!

He sadly walks over to place the book on his bookshelf and slips on some spare materials.  Crashing to the floor, there is a loud crack as his head contacts the hard floor of his hut.  He has a dream, and there was a god or something, but since it was a dream, he can't really remember.  He wakes to find the book spread open on the floor beside him.  He stares, squints, and thinks, "Maybe I can read this after all..."

Decipher Script
Rolling 1d20+200:

(4)+200: Total = 204

[Setherick]

Anton finds that he is reading a book of extreme magical power.

I'm going to treat reading a page like reading a random scroll.

Spell Level
Rolling 1d9:

(7): Total = 7

Spell
Rolling 1d100:

(47): Total = 47

Frollo throws the scalpel in the direction of Petero. It cuts across Petero's leg. Petero is now bleeding.

I'm going to say that Petero will take 1 point of damage from the scalpel.

[Setherick]

A sword like force appears in front of Anton. He isn't exactly sure how to control it though.

[Mckma]

Anton

Anton frantically tries to read more from the page to see if he can figure out how to control it (silently this time).  He decides that if he can't figure it out, he'll flee the house assuming it is an evil force come to haunt him.

Spot (to find the right text to read?)
<img src="http://slangdesign.com/forums/Themes/default/images/dice.gif" alt="" />Rolling 1d20: <div style="background-color: #919191;">(14): Total = 14 </div>

Decipher Script
<img src="http://slangdesign.com/forums/Themes/default/images/dice.gif" alt="" />Rolling 1d20+200: <div style="background-color: #919191;">(1)+200: Total = 201 </div>

I'll leave it up to you where my hut is, that is if I end up running outside, if I'll run into any of the other characters

[Setherick]

The sword-like force cuts Anton's table in half and then starts chasing the cat. Also, you notice the words are of the particular page are beginning to erase themselves.

[ArtfulShrapnel]

Petero

In a panic, Petero tries to hand the money and rings to a random passerby without anyone noticing. He chooses a fellow a few feet away who is holding a sandwich and eyeing it hungrily.

sleight of hand to swap his bag of gold with the sandwich
Rolling 1d20+200:

(17)+200: Total = 217

After the swap, he will wave the sandwich and point at the man eyeing his bag of gold. "What's wrong with you? I'm just eating my lunch!"

[Setherick]

Petero swaps the purse for the sandwich right as the man goes to take a bite. The man has a really powerful jaw and bites through the purse, chipping a tooth on one of the coins, and spilling the rest into the street. The McYokel clan happens to be passing through town when this happens. They have never seen so much hard money and immediately dive to the ground after it.

[Kroack]

Frollo

Upon seeing the nobleman's gold fall upon the ground, Frollo will attempt to scare the clan of McYokels by proclaiming their humours are no longer in balance due to their greed and neediness. Frollo explains that unless they bleed themselves out for a least a minute, and drop the gold, a horrible plague will fall upon them and all their descendants. 

Diplomacy

Rolling 1d20:

(5): Total = 5

[Setherick]

Despite his valiant effort, Frollo's words don't leave much of an impression on the McYokels.

"Leeches what? Bleed what? Like you bleed a pig?"

They continue grabbing the coins.

[Vega Baby]

Gregory

Gregory, satisfied that his pigs were now safe from the danger of being eaten uncooked, attempts to sneak back to his humble cottage, not realizing that his new powers of stealthiness didn't extend to him hiding while moving...

Move Silently check:
Rolling 1d20:

(10): Total = 10

[Setherick]

Wolf

Listen - 3
Rolling 1d20:

(19): Total = 19

Spot - 3
Rolling 1d20:

(16): Total = 16

[Setherick]

Gregory manages to sneak back to his cottage unscathed. He's almost convinced that he has garnered the ability to turn completely invisible and silence his footsteps. He could swear he stepped on a big stick and it snapped, but the wolves just didn't seem to notice him.