Question is he one of those guys who will always try to one your story?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Do those Charmin bears shit in the woods?
Does the pope wear a funny hat?
Does Cthulhu eat 1d6 investigators per round?
Mike is the master of one-upsmanship, provided the outside world has synchronized with his self-centered universe. Out here in reality, you can guarantee he will always try, but the result will usually result in one of the following: 1.) you begin to understand the undeniably massive sense of entitlement the man possesses, 2.) you bleach out your eyes, ears, tongue, and other sense organs, but still feel dirty, 3.) you lose 2d6 SAN, and are draw into a conversation about record-breaking ejaculations. None of these truly top your story, but after a while, just the fact that no matter what you say, he's got a response he considers superior begins to eat at your soul. You are Butters, and he is The Simpsons.
There's an ultimate bomb I'd really like to drop on this thread re: Mike (well, two in fact), but I'm pretty sure it'd piss Ross off to the high heavens, and I don't wanna be the first RPPR player banned from the forums.