The Corrupt A Wish Thread

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

Granted, but you must remove the banana from your own anus before you can get to it.

I wish Oklahoma didn't have so many tornadoes.

[clockworkjoe]

Granted. Oklahoma is sealed in a bubble that sucks out all the air.

I wish I had a cool augmented reality interface and an AI assistant to do boring stuff for me like in Eclipse Phase.

[Boyos]

Granted. Oklahoma is sealed in a bubble that sucks out all the air.

I wish I had a cool augmented reality interface and an AI assistant to do boring stuff for me like in Eclipse Phase.

Granted you have the newest I-phone that wont be out tell the codex of war 5 years from now... too bad it only runs off a special fusion charger that wont be invented for another 4 years... just like apple not to include the charger - the dicks!

Now that I have apperntly amassed a small army of one man that is a great worker on my piss filtration device, I wish I had a stick of gum.

[Setherick]

Now that I have apperntly amassed a small army of one man that is a great worker on my piss filtration device, I wish I had a stick of gum.

Granted, but you've forgotten that you're supposed to chew gum and slap the piece on your forehead. The gum has eighteen times the amount of cinnamon as the old Big Red gum had, so you slowly give yourself cinnamon poisoning. At first, this is really cool because you begin hallucinating and homeless people worship you, but, in the end, you still die.

I wish Boyos would shut up about how far the Codex is behind. It's not like it'll be DNF. 

[Dogfish]

Granted, instead he compares it to Daikatana.

I wish my flat-mate would stop eating up my internet usage so I could stream more things as I watch them.

[Setherick]

I wish my flat-mate would stop eating up my internet usage so I could stream more things as I watch them.

Granted, your roommate has developed a love affair of Sailor Moon. He watches the DVDs constantly on his computer, which wouldn't be so bad except instead of wearing headphones, he buys a ridiculously expensive sound system so he can get the full "Sailor Moon experience." After a few solid weeks of this, you develop acute insomnia and get an eviction notice. Nice going.

I wish the grass seed I laid down would take so my lawn wouldn't be so patchy.

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

Granted, but unfortunately the grass seed you laid down is actually a parasitic life form that feeds off of your electricity causing you to have a terribly high electricity bill every month.

I wish the campaign The Passing on Left 4 Dead 2 wasn't so effing hard at the end.

[Boyos]

Granted, now the last level is a total bunny on bunny orgy, the object is to be the alpha male, and mate more then any bunny.

I am enjoying my new  life in the after life, I wish I had some kool-aid.

[ugnis13]

Granted. Now you have a giant hole in your wall, and debris in your kool-aid man pitcher.

I wish i had a new phone and a new laptop.

[Boyos]

Granted, we have recently uncoverd a box of old 1980s electronics, never been open brand new laptop, coming in at 65 lbs its great! Graphics that beat out the commadore 64! And a brand new bag phone, with a smoking black leather bag.

I wish I had a straw to drink my kool-aid.

[Dogfish]

Granted, the straw is made of Francium. When in contact with the Kool-Aid it explodes and blows your jaw off.

I wish that my favourite bar doesn't have live music this weekend.

[Setherick]

Granted, the straw is made of Francium. When in contact with the Kool-Aid it explodes and blows your jaw off.

I wish that my favourite bar doesn't have live music this weekend.

Granted, they now have live music EVERY  NIGHT. Hope you like Polka.

I wish I had a teaching bot programmed with AI that matched my personality to teach my classes.

[ThnJonWasAZmbie]

Granted, the straw is made of Francium. When in contact with the Kool-Aid it explodes and blows your jaw off.

I wish that my favourite bar doesn't have live music this weekend.

hahahahah Dude for some reason I busted out laughing when i read your response to his wish.

[FuzzyDan]

I wish I had a teaching bot programmed with AI that matched my personality to teach my classes.

Granted.  The bot commits itself to mastering every aspect of your personality.  Eventually its studies leads it to find your performance wanting and plans to kill you and assume your identity.

I wish I had $3000, American, with no strings attached, physical, metaphysical, metaphorical, etc.

[Dogfish]

Granted, there are no strings attached just pinless grenades.

I wish I had some Creme De Cacao, Cognac and half and half ie. a Brandy Alexander.