Omegle - for all your random chat trolling

[codered]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: are you black
You: wtf
Stranger: answer the question
You: im from detroit what do you think
Stranger: O FUCK NIGGER




WTF like wow thats messed up

[clockworkjoe]

There are some great ones on the metafilter discussion of this site. I did not do either of these.

Stranger: wsup
Stranger: hey
You: Hi. Do you think this is really a good idea?
Stranger: stfu i don't wanna hear about your ideas faggot
Stranger: we're not cybering pedo
You: Heh, I figured. Thanks.
Stranger: i'm just trying to kill time in economics
Stranger: what's up with you
You: Wanted to know what the hell this thing was.
You: Now I know.
You: Later.
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: dont leave me

Stranger: hi
You: Are you there?
You: I'm you from the future.
Stranger: How did you know?
You: I would warn you of impending doom, but you lead a really boring life for the next couple of years.
Stranger: I am from the year 2015
You: You never really amount to anything.
Stranger: My name is Marty Mcfly
You: No, no, I'm from the far future.
You: Where hoverboards DO work on water.
Stranger: THEY DO?
Stranger: Take me with you
You: I can't take you back to the future.
Stranger: Not even at 88MPH?
You: Not without Huey Lewis.
Stranger: With or without The News?
You: Normally people disconnect by now.
Stranger: They are weak. They are from the past.
You: Zombie huey lewis is just as good.
You: We ought to send robots back to kill everyone's mother.
Stranger: Yes. I heard there was this guy called John Connor.
You: In the far future, we give the robots John Connor and they leave us alone.
You: It was really obvious, in hindsight.
Stranger: I never saw that.
Stranger: I was just really happy with my hover board
You: Still no jet packs.
You: Or flying cars.
Stranger: Doc is working on it
You: how many gigawatts do you guys have?
Stranger: 1.20
Stranger: just 0.01 left
You: holy shit!
You: 1.21 gigawatts!?
Stranger: Amazing isn't it?
You: 1.21 GIGAWATTS?!?!
Stranger: 1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!
You: UNO DOS UNO HEEEGAWATTOS?!?!
Stranger: SI
You: oh, ok.
Stranger: The flux capacitor is acting up though.
You: It's really just a coat hanger, ya'know.
Stranger: Thats what people have been trying to tell me. I still have faith in Doc.
You: ok, I'm going to get back to the future. we have eloi to rustle.
Stranger: Godspeed to you good sir.
You have disconnected.


http://www.metafilter.com/80436/Omegle-like-a-slot-machine-only-with-people

[rayner23]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: lol :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: lol :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: lol :3
Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: i'm just trying this chat
You: are you a girl?
Stranger: no
You: have you ever fingered your ass as you masterbated
You: ?
Stranger: i suppose u're a noy
Stranger: a boy
You: no. I am girl
You: I like when guys fuck my ass
Stranger: i like fuck girl's ass
You: then I shit the cum on their chest
You: I'm a cumshitter
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[AmishNinja]

Alright, I've got a few. The first couple are short with very abrupt endings that some of you may find amusing (or not) depending on if you have an odd sense of humor. The last one is a bit more drawn out.


#1
-----------
You: Hey
Stranger: HALLO
Stranger: asl
You: 22/m/bro-town you?
Stranger: bro-town
Stranger: wheres that?
You: exactly. you cunt.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


#2
------------

Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: guy or girl?
You: girl ^^
You: you?
Stranger: where u from sweete?
Stranger: im a male
You: i'm from CA
Stranger: cool
You: age?
Stranger: im from FL
Stranger: im 20 u?
You: 19
Stranger: cool
Stranger: u have msn?
You: I hope you die.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


#3
--------------
You: sup
Stranger: hey
You: ./
Stranger: whats good with u
You: ./
You: ././
You: ././././
You: ././././././././
Stranger: eh?
You: Shut up. I'm trying to make a pattern here
You: god
You: ./
You: ././
You: ././././
You: ././././././././
Stranger: ././././././
Stranger: ././././././
You: ...
Stranger: ././././././././././
You: What I wouldn't give for the ability to bitch slap people via TCP/IP.
You: Because I would.
You: I would slap you.
Stranger: seriously
You: Seriously.
Stranger: id punch u
You: I would double slap you.
Stranger: id fuck u
You: I have a mean bitch slap.
You: And by you I mean your dick, handsome.
You: unf
Stranger: id fuck that tight ass
You: unf unf unf
Stranger: sorry
You: what
Stranger: that was really gay
You: wait a minute you were into it
You: how dare you
You: don't stop now
You: cmon, let's get this thing going
You: ever cybered?
Stranger: ya
Stranger: u?
You: all the time
You: go ahead, you start. let's see what you can come up with.
Stranger: not with another guy tho
You: it should come naturally (haha no pun intended!)
Stranger: but im very open minded
Stranger: hahaha
You: well. think about how you like to be stimulated. and just work with that
You: set the scene
Stranger: umm
Stranger: ok
Stranger: lets see
Stranger: im the cable man
Stranger: and your "cable" is out
You: it sure is
You: hanging right out of my pants, it is
Stranger: and im there to "fix" it
You: uh huh. go on.
Stranger: ok ready?
Stranger: *knock knock*
You: *answers door, with only a bathrobe on*
Stranger: *taps foot*
You: Wh- hello?
Stranger: "Hey" "My name is richard, but i prefer Dick"
Stranger: "Im here to fix your cable
Stranger: May i see where your cables are?
You: "Ah, hello. That's funny. I prefer dick as well."
You: "Please, come in."
Stranger: "Wow what a beautiful place you have here. You have a very nice assortment of dildos and lube too"
You: "Yeah, the TV is right over here and oh shi-" *slips on mysteriously placed dildo on the ground* *cock falls out of bathrobe*
Stranger: "Whoa hey there! Do you need hel- oh my god. That is the biggest cock. May I touch it?"
You: "Well, I suppose that's one of my cables! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" *awkward stare, followed by 20 seconds of silence* "Yes."
Stranger: ok i cant go on anymore im sorry it was fun <3
You: hahaha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Boyos]

You: sup
Stranger: hey
You: ./
Stranger: whats good with u
You: ./
You: ././
You: ././././
You: ././././././././
Stranger: eh?
You: Shut up. I'm trying to make a pattern here
You: god
You: ./
You: ././
You: ././././
You: ././././././././
Stranger: ././././././
Stranger: ././././././
You: ...
Stranger: ././././././././././
You: What I wouldn't give for the ability to bitch slap people via TCP/IP.
You: Because I would.
You: I would slap you.
Stranger: seriously
You: Seriously.
Stranger: id punch u
You: I would double slap you.
Stranger: id fuck u
You: I have a mean bitch slap.
You: And by you I mean your dick, handsome.
You: unf
Stranger: id fuck that tight ass
You: unf unf unf
Stranger: sorry
You: what
Stranger: that was really gay
You: wait a minute you were into it
You: how dare you
You: don't stop now
You: cmon, let's get this thing going
You: ever cybered?
Stranger: ya
Stranger: u?
You: all the time
You: go ahead, you start. let's see what you can come up with.
Stranger: not with another guy tho
You: it should come naturally (haha no pun intended!)
Stranger: but im very open minded
Stranger: hahaha
You: well. think about how you like to be stimulated. and just work with that
You: set the scene
Stranger: umm
Stranger: ok
Stranger: lets see
Stranger: im the cable man
Stranger: and your "cable" is out
You: it sure is
You: hanging right out of my pants, it is
Stranger: and im there to "fix" it
You: uh huh. go on.
Stranger: ok ready?
Stranger: *knock knock*
You: *answers door, with only a bathrobe on*
Stranger: *taps foot*
You: Wh- hello?
Stranger: "Hey" "My name is richard, but i prefer Dick"
Stranger: "Im here to fix your cable
Stranger: May i see where your cables are?
You: "Ah, hello. That's funny. I prefer dick as well."
You: "Please, come in."
Stranger: "Wow what a beautiful place you have here. You have a very nice assortment of dildos and lube too"
You: "Yeah, the TV is right over here and oh shi-" *slips on mysteriously placed dildo on the ground* *cock falls out of bathrobe*
Stranger: "Whoa hey there! Do you need hel- oh my god. That is the biggest cock. May I touch it?"
You: "Well, I suppose that's one of my cables! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" *awkward stare, followed by 20 seconds of silence* "Yes."
Stranger: ok i cant go on anymore im sorry it was fun <3
You: hahaha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wow Just wow!

[rayner23]

That was . . . God I feel dirty. I am laughing, but I feel dirty too.

[rayner23]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: Hi
You: how are you?
Stranger: i'm fine, thx
Stranger: how about you?
You: good
You: I got raped last night
Stranger: how come?
You: because I was a very bad girl
Stranger: where ?
You: in my ass
Stranger: did you like?
You: IT WAS FUCKING RAPE!
You: I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK TO!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[rayner23]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: whats up
You: not much
You: got raped last night
Stranger: thats what i like to hear
You: that's fucking terrible
Stranger: dont get mad get glad
You: how about "don't get raped, eat grapes?"
Stranger: or that
Stranger: either or
You: this is no jk
You: I am not even jking when I say that I was raped
Stranger: i have 3 legs
Stranger: im not even kidding
You: you should not be loling at my very serious and not a jk rape
Stranger: i have 3 fucking legs
You: Who are you? Toe Jam?
Stranger: and i still dont qualifiy for the special olympics
Stranger: like WTF right
You: Toe Jam my love! Ever since you left FUnkatron I have missed thee!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[rayner23]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: how are you
You: not good
You: I was raped last night
Stranger: really?
You: yes
Stranger: that is bad
Stranger: did he roofie you?
You: It was absolutely horrible
Stranger: or were you  awak
Stranger: awake*
You: I was a little drunk
You: but he pinned me down and just took advantage of me
You: I hurt so much
Stranger: violent?
You: I have multiple cuts and bruises
Stranger: ouch
Stranger: so did you call the police/
Stranger: ?
You: not yet
Stranger: do that
You: I'm scared he'll kill me
You: I'm not even jking
Stranger: well
Stranger: was he your friend or just a random guy/
Stranger: ?
You: it was my dad
You: that;s the worst fucking part
Stranger: oh wow
Stranger: k yeah
Stranger: call the police and go live somewhere else
You: I'm only 14! Where am I going to go?
Stranger: are your parents still together?
You: yes.
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger:  tell your mom
You: that's the thing, she told him to do it
You: she said that is what I get for not doing my homework
Stranger: well then your parents are pretty f'd up people
Stranger: definately call the police
Stranger: and they can help you from there
You: that's the thing though. My parents are cops!
Stranger: this seems to be getting more and more sketchy
Stranger: of a story
You: I know it sounds ridiculous and that's why no one will believe me!
Stranger: right
Stranger: well definately go call someone like the police or somebody who can help
You: I just hurt so much. Soul-crushing loss
You: here's the thing though . . .
You: I am the dad. And I raped myself
Stranger: oh uh huh
Stranger: did you use a dildo?
You: yes. and I looked at a picture of you as I did it
You: because you are a naughty little girl and you deserve to die
Stranger: oh yeah well ill suck your dick right off you better take that back
You: nah. I'll let you suck my dick off
You: asl
Stranger: 18 f usa
You: Nevermind, you're too old for me anyway.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Maze]

You: Who are you? Toe Jam?

Thank you.

[AmishNinja]

As funny as that last one was, I feel dirtier having read it than I did performing my last chat log. Still, well done. I'm a bad person who laughed multiple times at it.

[Boyos]

I hope hell has internet so I can see what you guys are doing in your life on the RPPR Forums!

[rayner23]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: GREETINGS!
Stranger: fun
You: I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO "FUN"
You: INPUT AGAIN
Stranger: so where u from?
You: I AM FROM SWEDEN
You: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
Stranger: england
You: FASCINATING
You: "NEW" OR "OLD"?
Stranger: i don't know what u mean new or old
You: MAY I PRESENT MY APOLOGY?
You: "NEW ENGLAND" OR "MERRY OLD ENGLAND"?
Stranger: new, i guess
You: SO YOU ARE FROM NORTH EAST AMERICA THEN?
Stranger: may be Africa
You: WHY NOT JUST INPUT "MASSACHUCETTS" OR "MAINE"
You: THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE
You: THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE
You: THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE
You: THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE
You: THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE
Stranger: or may be asia
You: NORTH CENTRAL POSITRONICS HAS BEEN ALERTED TO THIS FAILURE
You: CIRCUITS FAILING
You: COMPLETE AND TOTAL SHUT DOWN IN 30 SECONDS
You: 30
You: 29
You: 28
You: 27
Stranger: 3
You: 26
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 1
You: 25
You: 24

[Tadanori Oyama]

Your freaky Turing Test didn't work out eh?

[rayner23]

jehuty23: very cute pic
jehuty23: on craigslist
seductivelisa4u: Hi hows it going?
jehuty23: really good
jehuty23: how about you?
seductivelisa4u: Im good thanks
seductivelisa4u: Where are you from?
jehuty23: springfield
jehuty23: you?
seductivelisa4u: me too whats going on?
jehuty23: not much. I was looking over your cl ad and I thought I would message you
jehuty23: what are you up to?
seductivelisa4u: are you interested in the show im doing online, its full nudity, toys, outfits, you direct...have you ever had a camshow?
jehuty23: not really
jehuty23: I would rather just meet up
jehuty23: I'm really lonely
seductivelisa4u: good luck
jehuty23: do you not want to meet?
seductivelisa4u: nope
jehuty23: so, you just want to charge me to watch you get naked??
seductivelisa4u: yup
jehuty23: how much?
jehuty23: you there?
seductivelisa4u: I do anything you want...toys, fingers, anal, double penetration, I take directions very well
seductivelisa4u: I do anything you want...toys, fingers, anal, double penetration, I take directions very well
seductivelisa4u: Right now you can get 40 minutes of cam for $25
seductivelisa4u: sound ok so far?
jehuty23: perhaps
jehuty23: what are your rates compared to the rates of other cam whores?
jehuty23: I mean, I want to make sure I am getting the best deal here
seductivelisa4u: most other camwhores charge monthly fees for the sites
jehuty23: so yours is just a set rate for the 40 minutes right?
seductivelisa4u: yeah
seductivelisa4u: on the site i cam on its free to join so no monthly fees for that but we can charge anywhere from .98 to 5 bucks a minute
jehuty23: now that we have established rates, let's talk about payment options. Will you accept check or money order?
seductivelisa4u: I cam on a free to join site you only make a username..they use a secured card company to do the transaction...no monthy or subscription fees..1 time only charge...visa, mc, discover and there is a way to use paypal
seductivelisa4u: If your interested i would love to do a show for you
jehuty23: Well, I'm not so sure if I am interested or not considering that you did not use the correct form of "you're." I do not own a product called "interested" but you have piqued my interest if that is what you are insinuating
seductivelisa4u: LOL I don't think if I were you I would get to fixated on proper grammer since you are not using correct puncuation
seductivelisa4u: spell check on that word
seductivelisa4u: we can go back and forth on proper chat etiquette or we can have fun doing a camshow your choice
jehuty23: Excuse me, but my punctuation is flawless and my spelling is equally excellent
jehuty23: I prefer the first choice
seductivelisa4u: your punctuation is not flawless wheres your periods?
seductivelisa4u: hmmmmm
seductivelisa4u: did the period monster eat them?
jehuty23: Period monster? No, the period monster does not trouble with punctuation; he merely shows himself whenever women are on the rag.
seductivelisa4u: yeah i doubt that
seductivelisa4u: anyways are you interested in a show?
jehuty23: Yes. My favorite show is "How I met your mother." That is an excellent show.
jehuty23: I also like "Lost"
seductivelisa4u: okey dokey well they are on rerun status but enjoy them ..have a lovely evening
jehuty23: Have you watched "Lost?"
jehuty23: It is intense
seductivelisa4u: nope never seen it
jehuty23: You would love it. I just know it
jehuty23: They don't have a theme song, so I make up my own during the opening.
seductivelisa4u: lol
jehuty23: I start screaming, "THAT'S WHY I'M LOOOOOSSST!!!! LOST ON THIS ISLAND!!!! JOHN LOCKE IS ACTUALLY DEAD!!!! SOME EGYPTIAN GOD TOOK HIS BODDDDDYYYYY!!!!"
jehuty23: Spoiler alert I guess . . . LOL!
seductivelisa4u: wow you really get into it dont you
jehuty23: Most assuredly. I like to have fun as I watch my shows.
jehuty23: It was my father's dying wish that I go through life and have fun and I have been doing that ever since in his memory.
jehuty23: Sometimes though, I get really sad when I think about the day my dad died.
seductivelisa4u: thats good about living thats sucks about your dad
jehuty23: I guess he isn't really dead, but he is to me.
seductivelisa4u: to bad
seductivelisa4u: anyway you have a great evening i got business to take care of
jehuty23: That son of a bitch is a leper now.
jehuty23: He is on an island with other lepers
jehuty23: Maybe that is why I like "Lost" so much.
jehuty23: You think?