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« on: November 30, 2010, 10:42:49 PM »
I had a douche GM in a long term Vampire: The Masquerade game that claimed THREE characters' lives in the span of two gaming sessions. They're pretty funny stories though so I'll get right down to it. If you're familiar with Vampire: The Masquerade we were playing a Sabbat game, so basically we were playing the bad guys. Also, even though the DM was a douche this would have NEVER been possible without my funny and hell buddy, Brom, making funny characters. I don't play with them anymore though, because this is basically all that they did. We didn't do a lot of solid RP.
Character one: Tzimisce vampire, kingpin type character.
-My character arrives in town with Brom's character, who is clearly either drugged out or a Malkavian (the insane clan). We meet in a parking garage beneath a hotel in Vegas and introduce ourselves. After a short conversation we're directed to an elevator that will take us to the Sabbat's private club where we will make ourselves known to the local vampires. We get into the elevator and after a few seconds the muffled sound of drum and bass techno starts reaching its way to the elevator. Brom's character starts to shake. Brom himself starts snickering quietly, and hands his character to the DM who busts out in laughter.
Naturally, I get shifty eyed and say "What?". The DM tells Brom to roll a willpower check. Again, I'm shifty eyed. Brom starts laughing.
So my character starts asking Brom's character if he's okay and whatnot, and all of the sudden he starts bouncing against the walls of the elevator, screaming to high hell. He opens his coat and it's FILLED WITH FUCKING GRENADES. My character starts trying to hit the buttons to let him out of the elevator, but it was too late. Brom unknowingly noted on his character sheet that his character's derangement is that he's a violent psychopath pyromaniac, basically, and that loud techno music is what triggers him. That's why his character carried around a boombox. He was designed to put on the music and get down to the killing.
About thirty seconds later my character was blown up in the first volley of grenades being thrown all about the club and I about pissed myself laughing.
Character Two: Toreador Antitribu artist from South America
I decided then that I was going to play a character with some serious social pull. Brom's character died in the grenade incident so we both made new characters. Since Vampire is basically putting dots on a character sheet...this took about three or four minutes.
So our characters are taken to a private airfield where we're going to be flown from Mexico City to Los Angeles. We wake up and climb out of our coffins while the plane is in the air, already getting word that we're being redirected to a different part of the city due to an "incident involving explosives" at the previous meeting place. Snicker Snicker. Anyway...we get down to character descriptions. I go first. It's the typical "yeah he's wearing a baggy black, silk shirt, long black hair, lots of tattoos, a kind of Chilean "Dave Navarro" kinda look..."
...Brom starts laughing again, and hands his character sheet to the DM, who prompts him to make a willpower roll, which he fails.
He describes his character as a bald, white man with a wife beater, camo pants, and red laces on his shoes. My character, not thinking any differently, starts talking to his character who immediately starts berating my character for talking to him. Nomatter what my character does nothing will calm him down due to him botching his willpower check. One, two, ten a SHOTGUN gets pulled which fires and punches a hole through the cockpit of the plane, killing the pilot. Both of our characters die in the crash as neither know how to pilot.
Why? Because Brom put every last flaw on his character sheet to make him a vicious racist. Douche, but it was still funny as piss.
(Last One) Character Three: Salubri Antitribu "tough guy"
I loaded this guy down with Fortitude, which is basically "supernatural" toughness designed to soak damage that includes sunlight. Brom made a normal seeming guy, which should have tipped me off. Anyway, the evil Sabbat head vampire guy is about to be sieged by police that are in the pockets of the other rival Vampires, the Camarilla, and has decided to turn it into a blood bath to expose them as much as possible to the media. My character is a pretty badass Salubri with a FAMAS assault rifle, some body armor, and has that total mercenary look. Brom's character is a guy in a business suit. Anyway...
After about two hours of RP, "Big bad head guy" tells us that he's going to the other room and that under no circumstances are we to touch his "blood doll" women and leaves my character in charge. Brom's character waits about 20 minutes and then slips into the room where the women are kept. He comes out COVERED in blood. My character goes ballistic "Fucker you're going to get me killed, etc etc" and decides he's going to punish Brom's character. My vampire grabbed Brom's character by the neck, slammed him THROUGH the window to dangle his character outside of the building from the 60th floor, flipped his FAMAS on full auto, and then emptied the clip into Brom's character and dropped him. His character died.
Big bad comes into the room "what happened? What happened?" and my character explains. Pissed, Big-Bad runs into the room with the women and comes out with two COMPLETELY UNTOUCHED women. My character runs in, sees that Brom's character got into a cooler that had blood packs inside and didn't touch the women. He makes my guy give him the FAMAS, and he does the same to my character.
Only my character LIVED! Aha! right? Wrong.
Later in the game my character wakes up, having fell and crushed a limousine. Broken and bloodied he can't move and has to heal himself with his blood to even have a hope of crawling out. That is, until Big-bad decides to use a stinger missile on the roof to shoot down a SWAT helicopter that crashes down into the limousine, killing my character.
...those mother fuckers. Funny, but I was the "game bitch" for those sessions and shortly after stopped gaming with them.
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